Not sure where I am so no title!

[AndrewP]

Coly - I hope you are doing well today. You've been a bit quieter lately. I hope that means that you are out and about and living a great life.

You are in a tough spot right now where what is going on is "neither fish nor fowl". Keep your eyes clear and focused forward my friend.

[Coly23]

Hey Rose, thanks for stopping by. No real plans for the weekend but just been shopping with D spending the last of her birthday/Christmas money and then doing chores. I've managed to arrange for a Sisters evening next Saturday which I'm really looking forward too. Not much money to go out as it's the end of the month but hopefully next month I can do a few more things. How about you?

Hey Andrew, your right I have been a bit quiet lately. I just don't feel that there is anything worth posting at the moment and I'm tired as well. I think Christmas/NY was so emotionally exhausting I've come to a bit of a standstill. Also if I wrote on here everything I've been up to I might get enough 2x4's to build a whole village of cabins! I'm not sure I can face that at the moment! How are you doing today?

[roist]

The more open you are here, the better people can help. Those 2x4s are for our own good. Cherish them as guides instead of avoiding them.

It is tough knowing what to do and I imagine with your H rekindling friendship is really hard to know how to be. Be the best you possible and the rest will fall into place.

Best wishes

[Rose888]

The sisters evening sounds like fun. My sister lives far away, so I don't see her often, but we always have a great time when we do get together.

The pattern this weekend seems to be busy mornings and quite afternoons and evenings. I'm trying to make progress on a big organizing project I want to tackle this winter.

[job]

Coly,

If we didn't care about and your situation, we wouldn't hand out 2x4's when we see something that needs your attention. Many of us have been down the yellow brick path and can see what may be happening in the other posters' postings. The poster receiving the 2x4's may be too close to their own situation to see what is actually going on. If you aren't going to openly post what's happening in your situation, then how can we help you?

Bottom line, read the postings and take from them what you can use. We may not always like what we read about our situation, but the advice, suggestions and 2x4's will actually help you along your journey when the time is right. We do care about each and every poster that comes here.

[Coly23]

Thank you Job. Please be assured that I appreciate all the advice on here. I know you all have my best interests at heart and you speak from a place of experience. I am gratefull to you all for your support. Xx

[AndrewP]

Coly23 - I hope you and D16 are doing well. This time of the year can be difficult coming out of the Christmas and into the gloom of the new year.

Stay strong. Be the best You that you can be.

[Coly23]

Hey AP, great to hear from you!

I'm okay thanks just in a bit of a weird place. H is coming over twice a week now but I'm struggling to keep my expectations in check. We had a huge argument on Sunday. It started with me texting him to ask if he wanted to go for a walk as it was a nice day and he said he had stuff to do so I called him. Turns out I'm just not giving him enough space! He had told me on the Friday before that he would text me on Monday to let me know his availability for that week so I should not have contacted him on Sunday. Whatever! Also, he said that I have to accept the worst case scenario is that he isn't coming back ever. Anyway I got him to commit to working on the marriage in the end which is even weirder but I'm not sure what that means. I guess actions speak louder than words!

I think why I feel weird is because before he came over on Tuesday I couldn't care less if he cancelled. Also I've not felt like hugging him as much when he leaves. Maybe this is the start of detachment?

How are you doing AP?

[Altair]

Hi Coly, Hi AP!
I have no news (...good news?)
Just doing lots of career development.
Coly, seems like after the shock of it all, your anger might be starting to surface. I know mine creeps up now, I'm working on it. Hope you are doing well. I'm in an airport en route back home (to my one side of the bed and jellybeans) feeling pretty good.
As per the advice, i have not followed up on the meeting which would be this weekend? Next week? If I don't hear from him i will snap my bands and let it ride.
Hugs Coly!

[AndrewP]

I guess actions speak louder than words!
<snip>
How are you doing AP?

Coly23 - Actions are very much important but as job has written to both of us, expectations need to be kept low. I have no answers for you only sympathy for you and admiration of your strength to keep going.

For me? I'm doing OK. I still haven't figured out how to cook rice although S22 has given me some very explicit instructions that are different than my prior attempts. Chicken a'la Coly et AP over rice is probably a very nice dish. Perhaps this weekend I will give it a try.