Hope your Christmas is a good one...maybe if we are lucky, this will be the last one in this situation.
Me 49 W46 T25 M22 S22 D18 S13 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
The last two nights were very nice and somewhat back to normal. She hugged me goodbye last night, we gave kisses on the cheek, and seemed like she wanted to stay...I guess she felt the loss. I know I did.
After talking with my oldest, he told me that she had mentioned staying, but he said it might not be a good idea. Maybe that kept her from mentioning it to me.
She came over this morning for gifts, coffee, and breakfast. I asked her to my mothers tonight, but she declined, saying that she knows she'd be unwelcome. I did not push because I know my mother is a grudge holder. I miss her so much it hurts.
It's funny how I s@cked it up the last two nights to go to each of her parents to be with my family, but she can't do the same. I guess she is conflicted.
She is also having drama with regards to her addict older sister...I still feel that she is also a depression trigger, but who am I to say.
I'm glad things have been going well for you this holiday season. However, I do want to point out that a MLCer "can't s@ck it up" when it comes to meeting face to face w/someone that they know will judge them. They can't deal w/it, so they tend to avoid them. You have to remember that she's not ready to hear and/or face the consequences of her actions yet. In the case of your mother, she may never be able to be around her because she's a grudge holder.
For now, be thankful that she has been around you for a couple of days of dinners/parties. That's more than most of the posters have the opportunity to experience.
Keep your focus on you and your family. Leave her in God's hands for now.
Job, Hank's for keeping up with me and the positive vibes. You are right and I am trying to take all of the good out of the weekend that I can. I guess taking things one day at a time is the way to go.
I hope you have had a blessed holiday as well.
Me 49 W46 T25 M22 S22 D18 S13 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Thanks bttrfly....I guess I have always felt closer to her fam than she has to mine.
Just dropped the two youngest off to her condo and as I was leaving I slipped with I Love You...I meant it, but I have been trying to hold back. Haven't told her in months...she knows, but I didn't want to suffocate. She didn't respond, but...whatever.
May God grant us all peace, strength, and patience in the new year!
Me 49 W46 T25 M22 S22 D18 S13 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Glad to hear that the holiday went off ok for you. I hope that some of the signs are pointing in the right direction for you. Sounds like you are doing well.
Me:42 W:37 M:18 T:23 3S: 4,7,10 EA 6/16 ILYBNILWY 7/16 9/16 separate BR 10/16 Discernment Counseling She's moving out 1/17
So we are in the last week of the worst year of my life so far...well as far as the W is concerned. The million dollar question is do we make one last ditch effort to let them know that we love them and that we want them to come home, or do we cave to their confusion and just let sleeping dogs lie? I wonder if it would even make a difference. I assume that after 25 years together she knows how I feel, but also wonder that due to her mindset at the time, would she even care how I feel.
All she seems to want to do is discuss money...that is the only reason she calls. We still have a joint account that certain bills come out of that we are still sharing.
"I love you and want you home"!!! There I said it...now do I erase that from my thoughts right now, or do I let her know?
Me 49 W46 T25 M22 S22 D18 S13 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
She already knows that you love her and you want her back home. So, I am going to suggest that you not say a word to her about this.
The MLCer, while in crisis, is only worried about money and having fun. They worry about money because they need it in order to have their fun, whatever that may be. She doesn't want to run short so that's why that's the only thing on her mind right now.
Write down that you love her and then tear up the note.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
