WAW - Typical Script?

[Covert]

[quote=sandi2] She is someone else! Have you guys read the threads about wayward wives? Years of resentment and disrespect for her H is the foundation for her waywardness.[quote/]

I did go back and read all the WW posts....wow, just wow.

[quote=sandi2] First step is to start behaving like you are separated. I mean really, how many separated or divorced couples do you know where the one parent comes over every morning, then they have dinner together and stick around to tuck the kids in together? Next step is to stop making her load (as a parent) light for her. She should have the kids at least 50% of the time.....with her, at her place....not at your place. She chose to leave the home you provided, so now she gets to have the kids with her at her new place. You are free 50% of the time....just like she is free 50%. So, set up a weekly schedule for when each parent will have the kids. Do not split up the kids, where she has one while you have the other. She should have all the kids together when it comes her time.[quote/]

These do make sense. I guess my line of thinking was it was good for the kids for her to be here, but like you indicate she can be with the kids, just at her place. We just bought our 'dream home' a few months ago and she picked out the house to boot (which is crazy to me looking back) and when I mention D she indicates she does not want the kids to grow up in apartments and that we have no equity....huh? Can you say Plan B? She is on the deed, etc...but she made the choice to leave.

[sandi2]

Are you helping her financially, in any way? Is she helping you with the mortgage payments on the dream home?

[Covert]

Are you helping her financially, in any way? Is she helping you with the mortgage payments on the dream home?

Yes, she pays 1/2 of the house and all the bills with 'my' house. We really make the same amount of money. She can work OT, so her check is often more than mine and i make a comfortable living. If the roles were reversed, I would be more apt to 'separate' the finances.

I will say she does keep mentioning things about 'my' house. "We" need to get a new ______ for the house. "We" need to fix the _____ in the house. Honestly, in my eyes why buy more stuff to fill a large house if the goal is to eventually D.

[doodler]

I will say she does keep mentioning things about 'my' house. "We" need to get a new ______ for the house. "We" need to fix the _____ in the house. Honestly, in my eyes why buy more stuff to fill a large house if the goal is to eventually D.

Covert,

My WW (now XW) wanted new kitchen countertops and a new stove, all while she was planning to move out. They have bizarro-world logic so don't read anything into it.

[Covert]

Covert,

My WW (now XW) wanted new kitchen countertops and a new stove, all while she was planning to move out. They have bizarro-world logic so don't read anything into it.

Yeah, I don't read anything anymore. I thought it was more comical than anything.

[coffee_]

Covert,

My WW (now XW) wanted new kitchen countertops and a new stove, all while she was planning to move out. They have bizarro-world logic so don't read anything into it.

Yeah, I don't read anything anymore. I thought it was more comical than anything.

I had the same thing happen, we bought a new house while she was just starting her second to last A (about 3 1/2 years ago).
When she says "we" just think to yourself that maybe she is just learning to speak French

[sandi2]

Okay, if she pays half or the mortgage and other bills connected with the home, then you probably need to hold off about separating the finances, and changing locks, etc. Those were just examples that display a separation in M.

[Covert]

Last night i went out and GAL. It was a lot of fun. I did not realize how out of touch i have been with socializing. Talked to W about 50/50 with kids. W did not really fight it much, at least she did not seem upset about it.

It makes me think....maybe W and I are just moving on into separate lives permanently. I feel like it might be too little too late at this point.

[Dawgs]

Last night i went out and GAL. It was a lot of fun. I did not realize how out of touch i have been with socializing. Talked to W about 50/50 with kids. W did not really fight it much, at least she did not seem upset about it.

It makes me think....maybe W and I are just moving on into separate lives permanently. I feel like it might be too little too late at this point.

Good for you going out! What did you do?

How do you feel about it moving on? The thing about too little, too late is that nothing is in our hands, even though we really want to try to do something to get them to see what they are missing or even change their mind. That plagued me for so long - I tried everything in the book and some things not. But, in the end, I had to realize that this whole thing was planned much longer than I knew...so, all of my efforts were for naught. In that case, the best we can do is do the best thing for ourselves.

[Covert]

I sent to a book store / coffee shop and hung out with friends. I met a few people....some older, some younger, same men, some women. The conversations were nice.

I'm not sure how I feel about moving on yet. I'm still kind of grieving the loss of the original MR. I know I do need to work on myself so I can be a better dad, person, friend, etc. Right now, I am almost D my 'old' self.

Part of me wants to continue LRT, but the other feels like I should just be on a friendly basis (initiating conversation, etc). Maybe i'm not being patient enough.......again, i do realize these are for me not to get her back.