Maybe the LL experiment keeps your focus too much on W. We need to look after ourselves first and foremost. Is this helping you?I love the idea and attitude behind it, but am not sure it should be your focus.
We should strive to be the best we can. If those actions are general and not specific to W, go for it. If not maybe another focus will help you through this first Christmas apart.
Best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Yes I agree, I need to focus on me! I do plenty of GAL etc but I need to 'look after' me too. That I am less good at (I overthink, beat myself up etc - massive, massive overthinker....when I feel detached I feel great). Its habitual I think. That's why detaching is hard IMHO.
The LL thing is not actually my focus right now. It's just the title of my thread (I decided I had to make it to thread no 2 on this topic at least.....what rubbish experiment it would be if I couldn't make it that far....ha ha).
I also think you are right. I am far too focussed on her - only recently though. Christmas tricked me into slipping back a fair bit. I will make ground and get back on track -I am very determined with that.
In terms of the LL thing. What I know is that if your W was to suddenly flick your her PA switch on (your LL I believe) then you would respond. My W's are AoS and WoV I believe. Whenever I do anything for her she is very grateful - provided it is something she wanted me to do. But I have to guess that (tricky). So I keep it to little things and not often. Once a week perhaps. Very little. NC otherwise.
I try to keep up to date with what is going on. Hopefully there will be some improvements but if not I am kind of 'meh' at times about it.
Have you and your W talked about 5 LL. Has she done the test, have you? Is she even open to this kind of thing?
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
The sixth LL has something to do with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle and non-auditory automatous stimulation. I think that might include nontoxic edibles and liquid intoxicants.
Yesterday I had some awesome ginger wafers. They felt yummy in my tummy.
I recently read that the scientists at Bell Labs have identified a possible sixth love language.
Er - that was Muppet Labs and I believe they were in Swedish.
Hey Doodler! Missing you bro. Not many of us left from our cohort.
Sorry for the high-jack Surfer.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Er - that was Muppet Labs and I believe they were in Swedish.
Hey Doodler! Missing you bro. Not many of us left from our cohort.
Sorry for the high-jack Surfer.
Der bouncy burger?
Hi AndrewP! I hope everything is going well for you. I've missed you too. I wish I had your penchant for ironing clothes. That's the one thing I really struggle with.
I'm sorry too Surfer. If only you'd been more loving toward us we never would've hijacked your thread (i.e. it's your fault Surfer).
doodler - you're always welcome to come visit my cabin over in MidLife Crisis. The ironing board is usually handy, the oven is kept warm for peanut butter cookies and there's a lovely pond, not quite frozen over that's ideal for skinny-dipping. I warn you though, we Canadians grow an extra layer of fur for the winter skinny-dips.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
