Checked the account today and H deposited £500 on the 15th. I'm wondering if doing a 180 has spun him out slightly.
I emailed him on the 3rd (first time since August) saying I hoped he was ok, he answered the next day that he thought he was and how was I?
I haven't responded.....complete 180 for me! He texts S on or around the 10th asking if S was ok and if there was any news, S doesn't respond.
Then the deposit. No response from me as I didn't know he had. Then texts D about her accident on 24th depositing £300 in her account. She hadn't heard from him since June.
Strange....I wouldn't have expected money for Christmas mid November anyway.
I would send him a very simple note saying "Thank you for depositing money into the account." You don't need to go into a lot of chatty conversation w/him right now.
I would think that he's feeling a bit guilty because of the holidays coming and by depositing money into the accounts, it makes him feel better and he can say he did the right thing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, I deffinately feel that I interacted too much. I really believe if I had continued there would be no deposit in the account.
I believe that I persued before and didn't give him the chance to actually think.
Like the vets say.....leave them alone to work through their journey. After all if and when he wants to come back, he has to want to more than anything, and.......prepared to jump through hoops.
If not? We will go our separate ways. I will accept nothing less.
I went to see out beautiful four year old GD first nativity play this morning and had a job to fight back the tears. Her little face searching us out in the audience tore at my heart. I had to push my thoughts of H to the back of my mind and tell myself if he was still here he probably would have been working or sleeping after a night shift anyway.
Then we went to pick up D's car which has been fixed and sprayed by SS (he told H about the accident). I haven't seen him since last Christmas.
I had never noticed before how much he sounds like H and has his exact mannerisms.
I found it very difficult and have cried a lot this afternoon.
So I'm having a bottle of red and will get in the kitchen to rustle something nice up, telling myself how blessed I am to have two wonderful kids and two gorgeous GC's.
Westo - I thought I'd just pop around to say "hi" and to thank you for your earlier visit to my thread and your very supportive comments. They brightened my day, especially the persistence that you showed. I can image that you can be a "force of nature" when you are on a mission.
This is a tough season for all of us both here and those who we love who are not here. I know that I swing between tears and joy, hope and despair fairly often myself. One thing I did long ago when I had hopes that reconciliation would happen "any day now" was make up a list of "triggers" such as particular songs, places and other things that are perhaps odd to outsiders that I was worried would trigger anger or grief. Against each of them I noted how I would deal with them - so I jump out of the shower to turn off the radio when a particular song comes on. Against many of the things I wrote "just deal with it" too.
It's OK that your SS triggered some sadness - it's part of the journey that we all are taking through grief. Perhaps next time you can think about how much he sounds like H and remember the good times and feel joy too.
Take care
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I think the administrator put Lana's name under yours. I requested that you and Lana be taken off of moderation last night and I guess it was late when the administrator did it or there was a glitch in the system. I have sent an email to the Administrator and hopefully it will be corrected today. Unfortunately, this is not something I can fix for you.
One nice thing...you are now off of moderation and your postings should be okay.
Also, you can hit the notify button if you have any problems and it comes to my computer very quickly. Whereas, I don't usually visit all of the threads each and every day.
