It's definitely me. I mean, look at my life. I cannot serial date. I get like maybe 6 days a month to myself. And not even totally to myself. I cannot play the numbers game right now. I face that.
I really, really, really, really need a pug. Badly.
It will happen when you least expect it or even want it. That's how it went for me. I told myself that being alone would be fine and I really was ok. Granted my divorce was fairly new when I met K. So not being in a R was the right thing to do but it happened. Even though I pused back hard at times. Don't lose hope. Go on living.
On a sad not. We had a pug. He got really sick in the midst of our divorce and had to put him to sleep.rough year
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
It's definitely me. I mean, look at my life. I cannot serial date. I get like maybe 6 days a month to myself. And not even totally to myself. I cannot play the numbers game right now.
I'm kind-of in the same boat; I have so much stuff that I have to get done or that I want to get done. In addition, I realized that I enjoy my projects so much that I'd rather work on the projects than go on a date with some stranger that I just met online.
And, when my sons are with me, I want to spend plenty of quality time with them. (BTW, my sons are begging to stay with me full-time. I'd love to have them full-time, but I'm sure my xW won't be willing to do that.)
Well you just knew someone would have to disagree and might as well be me. . Actually the only thing I disagree about is he got it and you won't hear from him again. I highly doubt it. Problem is I don't know how things have been left between you two, what was said, what the vibe was. I just know two days is next to nothing with a guy who is interested and doesn't get it. I'm betting he's just giving you some space and you'll hear from him before the end of the weekend - that would be Sunday night. We will soon see if I'm right or not.
The rest all seems like sound advice. Don't reach out to him again. If or when he contacts you just tell him it's not working, sorry, good luck and goodbye - all in your own nice way.
The whole it will happen when it's right... Still not sure about that. I will update my own thread this weekend but after ten years of waiting for the right person to just enter my life... I did have a great thanksgiving weekend however with multiple women approaching me. Alas the global list has been expanded. I already had Arkansas, Virginia and Chicago in the mix, now add Michigan and Canada to the list, with Nashville as a possibility as I've been told how cute, smart and fun someone there thinks I am. Is it too much to find someone within about an hour of me?
Back to you Ginger, you are still one of my favorite people here and I have very good taste and am very selective so you have to be an awesome person!!! I refuse to believe otherwise.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
The catch 22, and I know you will get this Don, since you are in the same boat as I am....
It will happen when you least expect it. Well, I didn't expect anything about 3 years post S/D. Wasn't looking, wasn't expecting, just trying to rebuild my life. Nothing ever happened in that time except a male friend who I made a connection with, but didn't want to date me for real. We just had, um "benefits" Then I manage to do that somehow and begin to think of dating and a future with someone else. Not expecting, but entertaining. Nah, still never happened.
Fast forward almost 9 years into this and you could probably echo this, well, yeah, I am expecting it to happen! Sheesh already! Dating, one short R, a few false starts, and I am back to square one. I am afraid I am always going to expect it to happen. Maybe it will come from an unexpected source? IDK. But it is a permanent part of something I hope for. ANd if I don't have hope, I have nothing. My therapist tells me I can't lose hope, because that will be my downfall. She also tells me that "accepting" I'll be alone for rest of my life is the same as losing hope.
For now, I will try to direct my focus off of it. It's not easy. But I need to do it.
So my focus remains on my routine right now. I've made such a nice new gym family. It gets me there everyday. my body is transforming and it's pretty satisfying.
3 days and I haven't heard from the plumber, and I won't. I wish I took the chance to properly say goodbye, but otherwise, no love lost.
I was looking back to this time last year. I was full of hope, and heartache at the same time. My heart strings were being pulled on in every direction. When I get sad an reminiscent and miss it, I remember how even thought the good felt so good, the bad hurt so bad.
Last year I had someone who kept throwing me out and reeling me back in, right at Christmas. This year, I have ME and I have been doing a great job of not messing with my own emotions. Even though I am alone, I do not have the severe Christmas blues of the years past. I think it means I am more in control of my heart. I'll take it!
However, this year, all I want for Christmas is a Pug, just like the one Eric posted with a batman costume. particularly with a batman costume, I know my obsession is a little weird, but they seem to fill up this joy in my heart. But no dogs allowed. Oh well.
Ex and I will have a conversation and he uses "we" and "us" and "ours" when it is a conversation between the two of us. However, even though there is no one else in our conversation, the "we" and "us" and "ours" does not pertain to him and I, the two people in the conversation. he says it as in him and OWW.
I am not a petty person, but this makes me insane. a pet peeve maybe? It's on the tip of my tongue to say something every single time.
Someone else used to do this to me, but the "we" I would figure out was his ex girlfriend!
Petty b!tchy rant over. I'm exhausted working on barely any sleep. Unfortunately there is no "we" or "us" over here. Just an "I"
Well, what's he talking about? The kids? In that case, yes, "we" would drive me batty. However, if he were talking about the kids and he said "we" referring to him and I, I would also object. He gave up the chance to be "we" with me.
Would you take him back if he showed up on your doorstep with champagne and roses? If not, then I have found it helpful to identify my anger and give it its say.
If you WOULD, then I think you should sit with that too...
Hugs!!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
. Actually the only thing I disagree about is he got it and you won't hear from him again. I highly doubt it. Problem is I don't know how things have been left between you two, what was said, what the vibe was. I just know two days is next to nothing with a guy who is interested and doesn't get it. I'm betting he's just giving you some space and you'll hear from him before the end of the weekend - that would be Sunday night. We will soon see if I'm right or not.