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jade Offline OP
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Im not sure if id be on the hook for her out of pocket medical bills. My theory for removal was financial protection and/or removing a marital benefit, not to be a jerk. Isnt some of the DB stuff for her not to benefit off me and let the reality of losing me set in, right?
Besides he had an affair with a married woman and is married himself, and my wife hasnt filed, i have no clue what hes like. i did not find any criminal record.
My lawyer told me if i had filed prior to the kids meeting OM, i could have had courts limit his access, until further along in divorce preceedings because of it all being too much, too fast for kids, but now a past precedent has been set, cant undo it.


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 108
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jade Offline OP
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Apparently my detachment is not going well, wife just texted "so us the remaining christmas decor in attic to be mine?" Just sent my anxiety up, i was doing good today too.


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 69
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I'll give you some advice from experience. I did just like you - swung wildly back and forth based on every experience and exchange. Fretted about ring, fretted about stuff, fretted about OM, and was anxious and sick a lot. XW got a new fun apartment, OM fixed her car, her life seemed idyllic, and I felt like I was in a black hole.

But a few things I did that I focused 100% of my energy on:
1. Said, "If you want a divorce, here's my lawyer's number - you can communicate with him." Refused to discuss again. If she wants it, let her do the work.
2. GAL'ed like crazy - working out, new haircut, new clothes, got a used motorcycle, etc.
3. Went out - I remember the first firepit/bonfire with my friends without her, and I don't think I heard almost any of the conversation, just sat there with a pit in my stomach. But I got through it, and before long, I found myself down the road realizing I had been laughing and having fun at a get-together.
4. Went 98.5% dark. I responded only to specific logistical questions like "Can you send me our car insurance ID #?" And when I did respond, I did so via email so it was documented.

Just my two cents!


“You only lose what you cling to.” – Buddha
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jade Offline OP
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Well i replied with a simple "no" come home to some of the christmas stuff in the attic gone..
R1. She hasnt bothered to file and ive made it clear over n over im doing the work for her.
R2. Been working out, tucking shirt, cologne, occasionally dressing up, bought a new car.
R3. I regularly spend time at friends houses, try going out but difficult with my friend circle
R4. Ive been going with short upbeat polite responses when she does text.
So am i doing good? Cuz i feel like im failing at this.

I wish the kids werent subject to her poor example of how to handle all this. Last night i asked kids if they got a bath when with mom. "No, i dont know why mom doesnt really take care of us anymore" was my daughters response

How do i start/link new thread


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 69
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Sound like you are doing great then! I have the luxury of hindsight, so as crappy as it feels right now, just keep sticking with it. I promise it works!

Also, instead of worrying about how the mom acts (I know it, it [censored]), just pour yourself into being the best dad ever. Honestly, some of the most amazing times of my life happened in XW fog - the kids and I went EVERYWHERE and had a blast.

You can link like this: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2713904

I would use a similar title like "Where to begin or end? #2"


“You only lose what you cling to.” – Buddha
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Posts: 108
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jade Offline OP
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Edit: im NOT doing the work for her divorce


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 108
J
jade Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 108


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
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