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jade Offline OP
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So after a month, my wife finally brought back a laptop, lol! But she basically locked me out of it. More childish games, now my choice is to ask/beg her for passwords or Ignore it and make it disappear since now its a paperweight. Any thoughts/advice?


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
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She probably felt as uncomfortable as you at the concert - I wouldn't sweat it.

There are lots of utilities available to reset a password - I'm not sure if I can link from here, but could give you some direction.


“You only lose what you cling to.” – Buddha
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jade Offline OP
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This morning did not go well. I told my wife when she arrived, that i thought it was childish to return the laptop but lock me out of it "well if u woulda asked, i could tell you the password" was her response, she claims it was one of mine but i thought i tried and it didnt work. I failed today and engaged in a cheeseless tunnel. Idk, her continued presence keeps affecting my state of mind. And even in divorce, i currently see no alternatives to keeping her away from the house besides moving to a "safe house" like my moms, or any alternative to her getting the bulk of my sons bonding time.. it seems my son prefers OM place, OM, and wife


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
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3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
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jade Offline OP
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So my wife and OM now have two kittens! Yep selling his house while she lives their and my kids, now cats. But yesterday he had a showing, so wife brought the kittens to my house when she got kids ready for school!!! Pets are a committment, we(I) still have the cat that we got 9months into our dating. I know i shouldnt try to figure her out but WOW! I kinda am beside myself!


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
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Posts: 108
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jade Offline OP
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So apparently my wife never turned in paperwork to the bank taking her off the joint acct. And she started purchasing gas, perscriptions, and culvers with it!!!


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Quote:
and even in divorce, i currently see no alternatives to keeping her away from the house besides moving to a "safe house" like my moms, or any alternative to her getting the bulk of my sons bonding time.. it seems my son prefers OM place, OM, and wife


My son went through the things you are experiencing, and all his youngest child could talk about was what they did with the OM, and OM this & OM that. I will share with you what I told him, and it doesn't mean it will necessarily help.....I'm just trying to give you something. The OM has to win your children, b/c of their mother. You don't. OM has to Mr. Personality, has to show them a good time, buy things for them and play with them......even if it's just to get on the good side of your W. You don't have to, b/c you already do those things out of true love for your kids. Daddy doesn't have to "win" them b/c he already has their hearts. Nobody can possibly replace you, or your love. OM is new! That's all. S3 would probably be excited about any new person who is knocking themselves out to make S3 like him. It eventually fades out. But something that will NEVER go away is the love between you and your children, and no other man can ever be their daddy. That is a birthright that came when those babies were born.
No matter how many people your children will love in their lifetime, there will never be anyone they love in the same way they love you.

(((Jade))) I am so sorry for your pain. I have not told you one thing you didn't already know, but sometimes, it helps a little to just hear someone else say it.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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jade Offline OP
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It does help, thank you! just stinks.

Asked wife to "drop off the joint debit card before she spent anymore" she comes back with, those charges were an accident and that im being an A$$"
Response suggestions?


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 108
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jade Offline OP
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Suggestions on tackling christmas. Do i invite MIL and FIL and wife to my house for christmas? Ive remained pretty close with Wifes parents.


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 69
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As far as OM - same with my kids. He was the "fun guy" while XW let them do what they wanted - while I continued parenting. He bought them toys, and let them eat donuts for dinner, all that stuff. Don't sweat it. Kids don't know what's going on except they get cool fun stuff.

Secondly, you were fine to ask for the debit card. Don't respond. Remember the goal is to make you look bad in any possible way for anything you do. Maybe next time leave off the "before you spend anymore" comment.

Finally, your W is almost completely in a relationship with another man. She is consistently using you; the debit card being the latest example. That was "not an accident". Why would you invite someone like that to your house for Christmas?


“You only lose what you cling to.” – Buddha
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jade Offline OP
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I didnt respond, i had lots of jabs i wanted to throw but didnt. Almost sent "why are you getting defensive" etc.
I highly doubt my wife would join for christmas but am fairly confident her parents would.

Meanwhile ive been contemplating filing of somesort. Struggling with alot of unknowns, pertaining to M, kids, and even GALing. How does one truly detach without at least giving filing consideration?
Id like sandis take(WW perception) on my choice to not file. Am i being strong in my committment to that choice? Or appearing weak and hanging on? I struggle alot in the control vs boundry department. Especially when it relates to kids.


BH:30 WW:30
T:12 M:5
D7 S4
BD 7-28-16
S 8-28-16
3-15-17 wife filed
3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
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