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bsb #2718821 12/02/16 02:02 PM
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Well my sitch has become 100% solo as my W and I haven't communicated at all since last Friday, but hey, at least I'm not getting any mixed signals! smile

I don't envy you at all, you must feel a bit yo-yo'd with her texting like that especially when your instinct is to want to text back. Just remember, she has to feel the loss of you completely. What she does with that is out of your control. That's what I have to keep reminding myself of.

My W isn't pursuing me because she's done with me and has moved on with someone else, so in my sitch it is just a matter of me moving on without her and focusing on my own healing. I think that makes it easier than if I were in your sitch with a W that is reaching out. You ultimately have to decide for yourself how to respond (or not respond), but she's probably feeling a loss of control with you going dark. Try not to read too much into it. Hope you have a good weekend!


Me: 35 W: 32
MR: 2y T: 3.5y
SS11
BD: 11/3/16
EA: 10/26/16
PA: 11/11/16
W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16
Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL
I filed for D: 12/14/16
D-day: 3/10/17
fightin #2718850 12/02/16 05:25 PM
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I agree, I feel like a yo-yo. She's so set on getting this over quick so she says. She has called 4 times in the last 2 hours. I was at the office during the first 3 with clients and just didn't have the energy in me to answer the last one. She's not leaving messages or texting what it's about. I don't feel like it's anything good to help the situation but it does have me wondering... maybe ignoring her has her confused? I know I'm overthinking!!

Should I call her back or answer??

bsb #2718856 12/02/16 06:15 PM
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I would say answer. If it's a silly call, then say, "you can just leave a voice mail or send me a text". Set boundaries.


“You only lose what you cling to.” – Buddha
Bippy78 #2718862 12/02/16 07:37 PM
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The calls stopped and I have kept busy. Went over to the neighbors to help hang a tv. Ended up telling them what's going on. Up till the last couple days I've kept everything quiet. It's amazing how sometimes talking helps. I don kind of regret no answering now but her stopping tells me it wasn't that important. I don't think I will call back at this point but if she calls again I might answer. I'm mentally exhausted and hope to see some of my buddies tomorrow night.

bsb #2718863 12/02/16 07:42 PM
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If anything just shoot her a text and say something like "I see that you tried calling earlier. Did you need something?"


Me:38 XW:38
T:11 years M:8 years
Kids: S14, D11, D7
BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Zues126 #2718891 12/03/16 06:58 AM
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Thanks everyone. I crashed early last night and decided not to respond to her earlier calls since it's been a few hours. I don't think they would have been good conversations. In the past she gets sad at night and that is when the calls/texts start so I figured if I woke up to something I would respond at this time. She didn't so she's either mad I didn't answer or just doesn't care.

I wish I could get past the part of missing her so much! She has been the love of my life and my best friend for 4 years. This was going to be our first Christmas married. I'm feeling really down today

bsb #2718948 12/03/16 06:32 PM
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I can't win for losing!! She text sayin how immature I am for not answering her calls or texts the last two days. I responded by saying sorry that I have been busy and that she didn't leave a message or text so I didn't think it was that important. I don't get her thinking. It's ok for her to ignore me but as soon as I do it for my own sanity she gets upset?? She still wants to come over and look through the house. I said I was busy this weekend and the have a good night. I guess I'm getting frustrated

bsb #2718953 12/03/16 08:16 PM
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That's typical. She likes you pining over her. They get angry when they lose control over you. That's actually a good thing. Let her be angry, you stay positive. Remember, pulling back brings her to you. Pursuing her reconfirms her control over you and pushes her away.


Me:49 W:45
M:19 T:22
EA confirmed and ended 8/2014
S:19,17 D:9,5
mvgfwd2 #2718955 12/03/16 08:18 PM
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Consider your situation. She pulled away and you were drawn to pursue her, right? Flip the script. It works both ways.


Me:49 W:45
M:19 T:22
EA confirmed and ended 8/2014
S:19,17 D:9,5
mvgfwd2 #2718957 12/03/16 08:28 PM
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I would like to think that but all she talks about is separating our things and getting this over with. She asked for a list of things I want and all I said was ok. She didn't try to pursue or ask where I'm at. (She asked again if she could come over and go through the house and I said I was out of town). Normally it would drive her crazy not knowing where I'm at but she didn't even ask. No emotions towards me except maybe frustration.

I do feel better. I spent all afternoon with a couple buddies. I'm just losing hope that she will miss me and start to think about a future together.

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