Well everyone cancelled again for the house showing. Looks like my sitch might get a little more complex so I'd like some input. So my ex that I own the rental house with is also going through a split and needs a place to live. We already own the house and if we're going to have to pay the mortgage while it sits empty we might as well move in.
We would just be roommates as I have zero romantic interest in my ex, but my W would lose her sh** if she found out I moved in with my ex and would never believe it was platonic, but for me it is just a means to an end. I get my own space (in comparison to living with my parents) in a cute, clean place and we could work on the house while we live there to get it ready to sell in the Spring so it makes financial sense, but I imagine living with an ex would be quite awkward. Thinking of getting a 3rd roommate too to make it even more economical. It is a 3 bed/ 2 bath.
What kind of damage could this do between my W and I and should I even care how my W would feel about it considering she asked me for a D?
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
Just when I was starting to feel safe from the crazy...
Got a text asking if I was coming to town this week because W has a ton of stuff for me that I apparently left in the closet. I asked her to send it with SS to his dad's. She stated I had several pair of jeans so I replied to either send them with SS or just throw them out. She then replies that she would never throw out anything of mine and she's so sorry that I hate her so much and she's just trying to make sure I get my belongings and how SS will be at her house this week.
I stated that I know he will be with her, but I'd like her to still send my stuff to his dad's. She asks why can't I just get it from her when I see SS and that she'll put it on the the porch so I don't have to see her. I then inform her that I'm not seeing SS this week and again asked her to send it with him to his dad's. She replies she didn't know I wasn't seeing and she will send it to his dad's and sorry for bothering me. I did not reply after that.
I really don't get it. I didn't say a word about hating her, and while I wasn't friendly I wasn't rude at all. She asked me for a D and is having an A, what on earth does she expect from me? It doesn't matter what see expects actually, but it crawls all over me that she seems to think I'm just supposed to be 100% cool with her about all of this as if we're just old friends.
Sigh. Just needed to get that out.
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
You did well, repeating your needs about the closet items. Broken record is a great technique, and you executed it to perfection.
WW is button pressing, in her head she has her reasons. Peeps do.
Often they have this, I can be friends with the ex forever scenario. We can all be friends. Let's all be jolly. I think this applies. So not just old friends but new ones too. The waywards entitlement.
Both you and SS dad are grounded and love this lucky boy.
I am impressed by you and this interaction. Masterful.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
You did well, repeating your needs about the closet items. Broken record is a great technique, and you executed it to perfection.
WW is button pressing, in her head she has her reasons. Peeps do.
Often they have this, I can be friends with the ex forever scenario. We can all be friends. Let's all be jolly. I think this applies. So not just old friends but new ones too. The waywards entitlement.
Both you and SS dad are grounded and love this lucky boy.
I am impressed by you and this interaction. Masterful.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Thanks V! No more cake eating for her. I'm standing my ground and she doesn't have to like it. I'm over trying to appease her or even get her back at this point. I know that I have to give myself the space to heal and grow and that space doesn't include her.
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
Good for you man!! I don't understand any of this either. My W is doing the same thing but it's all business and she doesn't even say sorry. This could be a good thing with your wife? Or it might be her way of trying to make her feel better? Either way it doesn't matter.
I think you keep doing what your doing but get some input from others.
Thanks bsb. I don't know if it is good with her or not, really I don't care. Unless she is ready to stop the A and be my W then it doesn't matter how much she tries to reach out. I don't think she will ever be ready for that though so I'm just going keep working on myself. I think she is "apologizing" in a sarcastic manner because she somehow feels slighted by my lack of interest in being friends. Or maybe it does make her feel better, but I doubt it.
Yeah, I don't get iur W's acting the way they are. I guess we don't have to though as long as we are working on ourselves.
Me: 35 W: 32 MR: 2y T: 3.5y SS11 BD: 11/3/16 EA: 10/26/16 PA: 11/11/16 W asks for S/D & ILYBINILWY 11/13/16 Status: I moved out 11/19/16, GAL I filed for D: 12/14/16 D-day: 3/10/17
Ah man, they feel guilty. They're selfish. They only care how they feel, not how YOU feel. Your w trying to play friends is her way of feeling less guilty, like ohhh I can have an affair screw up her life and oh man she still wants to be friends, and come pick up her clothes and perhaps small talk with me, this is great!!! Ummm no. These waywards are under the impression the world and our world revolves around them and we will still do anything to keep them "happy" they seriously hate when we don't, & who cares! Cus our lives no longer revolve around them. Good job on your text responding and not telling her you don't hate her to ease her guilt. Let her think that, especially if you've never said "I hate you". They should feel like we hate them, idk why we don't but damn. They really push the envelope eh. Hang in there way to stand your ground and not give in!
