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3 therapy sessions and I am feeling a bit more centered....

I will be flamed for this but...eh. I have a dark sense of humor as does x Mr. GB. X Mr.GB is on vacation with his gf. I did not realize this as I kept wondering why he was texting so much. FTR, occasional he asks about S7, but there is not much kid talk unless I specifically bring it up. I am going on vacation and a work meeting in the next couple of weeks so I will be out of town for almost 2 weeks. I asked him if he could watch the dog, which was the dog he wanted to take, except that his gf (who just graduated from vet school) doesn't really care for dogs. She said this and he has told me this. The gf has always been pleasant to the kids but misdiagnosed our old dog. I said "I'm pretty sure he has cancer." She said, "It's definitely NOT cancer." It was cancer. Then the cat became extremely stressed when we had a foster dog. Ex Mr. GB shows her the cat and she says "It's thyroid cancer." I said, "I think the cat is stressed so I have to find a new foster home for the dog." Take cat to a more seasoned vet. Cat is stressed. No cancer. YAY!

He just texted me that he found out he has to go to Oregon for 3 days and he will let her watch him for those 3 days he is gone. Since she doesn't like the dog, honestly, I am not super excited about her watching him. I appreciate her doing it, but she REALLY does not like the dog. Yes, this was wrong and yes, I thought it was funny. I said, "I appreciate her offering but I know she doesn't care for Mr. Fluff. I can make other arrangements."

S Mr. GB-"She can deal>"

Me:"Ok. I just hope she doesn't mistaken him taking a nap as being in a coma or a terminal illness and euthanizes him."

Yes, I am a horrible person and it was funny. Happy Tuesday!



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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grin You're too funny! Did he reply?


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
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Hi Painter,

He did and said Mr. Fluff (not his real name:) would be fine. He is now texting me pics of cats on Instagram. He has started adopting disabled cats. One has a permanently dislocated jaw and the other is missing both eyes. This must be some vacation smile



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Hi Everyone,

Therapy session #5 today. This one was kind of difficult. If I haven't commented on this before, I've for the most part had some unusual sexual experiences. Like I hear about people having mind blowing sexy times or they've been with men who always want to do the sexay times with them. I was explaining to my therapist that when I hear/read these things (and I have my entire adult life) I realize how strange I feel. Never had that. Ever. Maybe I choose men who aren't sexually attracted to me and that makes me feel safe? All of these men have been straight.

I remember with my ex bf I did the whipped cream bikini. He came in, said I looked cute, and walked over to his computer. We slept in the same bed for a year off and on and he never tried anything. We hugged or cuddled but no kissing or anything of the sort. I tried that again with another bf and he said "you look hot" and went to play a video game. I did some other stuff (lingerie, dances,etc) all fails. I think I just wanted to experience (even though I realize it wasn't going to be like that) what other people do. And since that has never worked, eh....

I think all of the people I've been with think I was funny, attractive, and fun-just maybe not in a sexual sense. I cannot tell you how many men I've slept next to me in my life in a tshirt and panties and people could never believe nothing happened or no one tried anything. I would say "No really. Nothing happened."
And sometimes I think that maybe I was batting out of my league. I don't like conventionally attractive men and most had no $ and inconsistent work. But maybe that wasn't my league. Eh. Don't know. I'm friends with most everyone I've ever dated and all of them inevitably try to relay something about how much they loved me and regret x, y, z. I guess they just didn't want to be naked with me.:-)

In other news, while rather fit, I'm getting my stomach fixed in a few months. I have to get myself psychologically ready for that. I'm super excited because I've wanted this since my 3rd c section. No one may want to see me naked but I want to see a cute tummy.

Starting the new job in 2 weeks. Excited and a bit nervous. It's totally different for me but eh if it isn't a fit then I will just look again.

Therapy has been difficult but necessary. Hopefully I can get to a better place of peace or acceptance. Positive vibes to everyone!



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
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Sending positive vibes right back to you that you find the peace of acceptance that you seek. I'm glad that you are finding therapy helpful (but hate that it is difficult for you). Good luck on the new job. You are going to absolutely hit it out of the park!


Me 52, H53
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Quote:
maybe I choose men who aren't sexually attracted to me and that makes me feel safe?


Or maybe you choose men with low sex drives or who are emotionally distant because it makes you feel safe?

This is definitely NOT about your attractiveness but about who you're picking. The question is WHY are you picking them? And WHY do you stay with them?

Honestly, if I was dating a guy and he wasn't sexually interested in me, I wouldn't hang around very long ( and this is from me, who does have a history of hanging out with emotionally unavailable men. But sexually unavailable? Never!)

So the work you need to do is to figure out why you are afraid to date sexually assertive men. Where do you think that comes from?

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GB, just dropping in to say hi. I'm definitely with kml, I wouldn't stick with a guy who wasn't interested in me sexually. My sensual side is as important to me as any other aspect. I wouldn't date a guy who ignored my emotions or wouldn't have a conversations with me. It all goes together.

Hope the new job is going well!



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Thanks for stopping by everyone. I hear you. I do and it's something I'm
Diggging into as best I can right now.

Started new job. Love it. Has been crazy and had some technical delays/computer malfunctions on their end so I had some challenges getting set up. X Mr.GB graciously offered to help as this is his forte. I gladly accepted and he said afterwards "let's get dinner. It will be fun."

I was a hint nervous at first. However, I said "f that. I had 3 kids with the man. I took no pain medication after having all 4 wisdoms teeth out. I can do this." He has broken up with gf. After telling me some stuff about her life, I realized it was Like a car crash with those 2. I listened and said that she certainly had some challenges to overcome growing up (I. Can't. Even. Put. Into. Words). He was funny, very polite (took my work bag to car and put in trunk for me as I was wearing 5 inch heels as I had been in meetings all day), and seemed sad. Not about he. Just sad in general. A shell of the man I used to know. Still funny and sensitive but....truly different on a profound level. However, not one to let grass grow, he's flying out to meet some woman he works with but has never met in person-just Skype and VC. He said, "I just don't see how this one can work?" Please keep in mind he broke up with the gf 3 days before. :-) I said, "I'm sure you will figure it out." He then suggested "we" all move across the country. He paid. It was fun. Not awkward but odd. And he said at one point, "I don't see how you put up with me. I was exhausting." I smiled and said , "yes. We are who we are though right?" The universe kept giving me signs a day of meeting was coming and it was good. He asked about NG but I didn't discuss. Said he's a good guy and he said kids really like him. For the record, NG has really been wearing on me a bit lately. I empathize but his constant "I'm not happy with my life, career, money situation is just not something I want to expend much energy on. I understand-I do. However, if you want something to change then you have to change it. Not interested in mothering anyone but my kids. I did that in my marriage and that was a big old nope.

Anyway, summer has been busy. I feel pretty good. Perpetual motion and I'm taking it one day at a time.

Hugs to all.



3 kids
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Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
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"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Ignore all of my typos. Speed demon typing :-)



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BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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If he just broke up with gf three days before, he'd probably been carrying on an EA with the long-distance coworker for a while before.

As for NG - if he can't man up, dump him. Sorry to sound so harsh, but you're right. You have three kids to mother, you don't need another one. It's one thing if he complains about his work but is carrying out a proactive plan to fix the problem. But if he's just a guy who's gonna whine about it but not do the things necessary to change the situation? Bye bye.

You need an adult male.

My friend was dating a guy, she's a musician and he was a musician in a somewhat known band from the 90's. He's in his fifties, works in a record store, can only afford to live in LA because his landlady hasn't raised the rent, has thousands of dollars in credit card debts and drives an old clunker. He loved to cry "poor me" but never did a single thing to better his financial position while she was with him.
She dumped him because of this (she's a widow with a son to raise and like you, didn't need another kid). Four months later he was "in love " on Facebook with a new woman and proposed to her after a couple of months. She appears to hav a solid middle class job and we can see that she must be rescuing him financially. They're a long distance couple and she is almost always the one to come to him. It's been a year but no date has been set and scuttlebutt is that she keeps offering to bring some of his stuff home with her and he keeps declining.

We're pretty sure he doesn't really want to follow through, just wanted a rescuer. I feel bad for her, I imagine being swept off her feet but a rock star has kept her from seeing who he really is.

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