Coffee and spinning

[peacetoday]

Coly

sounds hopeful

This is probably a good time to just take a breather --from all the pain
relax and take care of yourself
make some new friends or pick up a hobby

I started playing guitar 3 years ago..lessons,, in music schools band--so much fun-

[Altair]

Hi Coly,
had to chuckle about your H looking happy comment. I could see myself doing the same thing- so I won't! ha!
I'm interested in that-- I wonder if your H is feeling happier.
I truly hope next time I see H he will be happier. It was rough to see how troubled he was all these months. I hope he gets better.

[hawker]

Hey Coly....how are you doing? Just stopping by to check on you! ;-)

[cheesyt]

hey coly!

great job on continuing to work on you & trying to let him engage you. I too need to do a better job at that. hang in there!!! you're doing great!!!

[Coly23]

Hi everyone, sorry I have been MIA again. Not much going on at the moment.

Peace - I was actually taking guitar lessons going on three years when BD happened and I stopped because I just didn't feel strong enough at the time to do normal things and now we can't afford it anyway.

Altair - I don't know if he is generally happy or really happy to see me. He says very little theses days!! Although we have arranged to meet up next Friday again.

Hey Hawker I'm good thanks just so tired of DBng all the time!

Cheesy - I don't know about doing a good job! I keep doubting myself but H seems keen to meet up even though he isn't actively pursuing me.

Today I asked H if he wanted to meet me and D in the city he is living in to have a look around their Christmas market and grab some food. It was short notice and he was already going out so he suggested we could do it Sunday instead. I'm sitting for my sisters kids on Sunsay morning so I said he and D should go ahead but he wanted to try and work out the times so I could come along. In the end me and D decided that we keep to our plans and go today rather than Sunday.

The point of this is that in the past I would have done everything I could to accommodate him, even changing my plans to suit him. Today I felt liberated that I stuck to my original plan even if it meant I didn't get to see him. But you know what, me and D had a lovely time and we are going to try to do this more often!

Happy weekend everyone!

[peacetoday]

Coly

That is awesome that you took care of you and D
very nice..glad it went well and I think its a total plus to not turn our schedule around for them-
have a good night

[Rose888]

Coly, great job sticking to your plans!

That's the sort of change I am trying to make stick, even though we are piecing. It helps keep us from falling back into the emotional fusion trap.

[Sotto]

Good for you Coly, and I'm glad that you and your D had a nice time regardless. I would sit back and let him initiate next time if he wants to see you...and if you don't hear from him for a little while, don't worry about it and just make nice plans for yourself.

xx

[roist]

I agree.Not bending over backwards was a good choice. Ye had a good time and you let H know you won't put yourself out "just" to meet him.

You are doing great
Keep going as you are.

[Coly23]

Thanks for your comments everyone.

Journaling. - I had a great day yesterday. Took my D and niece to a dog rescue centre as D really wants a one. I'm still very apprehensive as I'm not an animal person! I go between maybe getting her a puppy so we can bring it up ourselves or an older rescue dog because it means we are giving an abandoned dog a new home. The trouble with this is a lot of them have serious issues and can't be around children. We saw some lovely dogs at the rescue centre but none suitable for our family. However the thing that worries me about having a puppy is that I work full time and I'm not sure how we will look after it. I'll have to have another think...

The dog rescue centre visit did help to take my mind of things but I felt my emotions bubbling at the surface all day. When I finally went to bed I had a good cry. Just feel so hopeless. I just wanted H to text me to find out how we got on at the market. I don't know why he is so resistant to just general contact. He is lovely to me face to face and especially as he is so keen to meet up so why can't he just drop me a simple text, I don't understand...

I think I'm starting to feel anxious about Christmas and D's birthday. I expect everyone else on here is feeling the same about the holiday season. I sometimes feel like I want to go sleep and when I wake up its all over with and everyone can tell me what a lovely time they had and then I know I didn't spoil it for anyone. That's what I am afraid of....