Still reading along. Please try to work on those so you can love yourself. I struggled with this and didn't even realize it until I took a class on mindfullness as part of an MBA. The professor required us to have 1 on 1 sessions with her and it was basically like a psuedo IC. I learned so much, and I guess luckily, everything came crashing down on me during this time which let me reflect even more. Anyway, the point is that it is something very important to work through.
Of course it is not a bad thing.....as long as it does not send you spinning! You just have to go in there with zero expectations (it really has to be zero though, not just telling yourself its zero) and enjoy the time. Don't but degrees on positives. Just take it as a positive sign and file it away/ Don't think of it as more or less positive.
Thanks Pinn. I do need to work on loving myself, but I think it will take time as I have had this mindset for such a long time.
Just had coffee with H and it went really well. I was nervous beforehand but it was actually really nice. Zero relationship talk and when we left I got another kiss and hug and we agreed to meet up again for coffee next week. Just baby steps for now...
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Excellent! You did a great job on meeting up w/him today. I think that as long as you keep your expectations zero, you'll be okay. By not over reacting to his kiss and hug and lets him know that you aren't going to put pressure on him. He needs to feel "safe" and that's okay...just follow his lead and allow him to continue to come to you.
Baby steps will eventually turn into adult steps...but it takes time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Job! I also had a really good session with Chuck, DB Coach, and he was really pleased with my progress. I'm just going to try and relax and not think about it too much!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
I agree w/pinn. He needs to be the one to initiate the invitation. Allow him to pursue you for a bit. If he doesn't contact you, just let it go. Trust me, he'll contact you when he's ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Thanks everyone. It's going to be very hard to not try and arrange something for the next week but I will try. I can't make any promises though!!
Hey Roist - good question! Not much relaxing at the moment as work is really stressful but I am hoping that will take my mind of it a little. I'm also going to attempt to go to the gym at least four times this week!
No homework from Chuck. It was my last session as well. He seemed really positive with the progress and told me to stop being so negative when I said I thought H looking happy could have been because I hadn't been around him for seven weeks!!
I am going to try and not have any expectations although that is an expectation in itself! This could just be him poking his head out for a little 'look see' at what I'm up to but I'll accept it a as a positive step for now...
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
