wnthope, not super healthy to be drinking so much.
can't lie, I drink more often too. Most of the time I go to the bar after work, just to have something to do. Have a drink or two. Talk to random people (so not like me)
I do think the dreams will stop with time. time is our biggest friend. and patience.
keep busy!
I think I may be giving off the wrong impression. I don't drink all day every day. But instead of going out and drinking 2-3 times a month, now, I drink 5-6 times a month (if taking into account how much I drank in these 2 weeks.
So honestly, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and it's changed my perspective. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, and I don't know if it's temporary or not.
But with everything going on with the other guy she's seeing, and everything she's put me through lately, I've sort of given up. I've let go of all my feelings and sadness. I've been happy, and while it's nice to be happy, I'm not sure if I should be this soon.
I know deep in my heart I still love her, but it feels like I don't care about this situation anymore. Is that normal?
But with everything going on with the other guy she's seeing, and everything she's put me through lately, I've sort of given up. I've let go of all my feelings and sadness. I've been happy, and while it's nice to be happy, I'm not sure if I should be this soon.
I know deep in my heart I still love her, but it feels like I don't care about this situation anymore. Is that normal?
WntHope,
In my opinion, it's very normal. When you start seeing things from a different perspective (i.e. you no longer need to have your WW) you really begin to detach. Your LBS fog is beginning to clear. Some people never seem to get to that point and others get there quickly. I wouldn't let that bother you; just keep working on yourself and roll with the punches. You'll be able to make better decisions as the LBS fog clears away.
In my opinion, it's very normal. When you start seeing things from a different perspective (i.e. you no longer need to have your WW) you really begin to detach. Your LBS fog is beginning to clear. Some people never seem to get to that point and others get there quickly. I wouldn't let that bother you; just keep working on yourself and roll with the punches. You'll be able to make better decisions as the LBS fog clears away.
Yeah, I think what scared me was it happened so quickly. It really does feel nice to not worry, or obsess anymore. I really do think I can now work on myself without holding myself back.
Your feeling of "peace" will be short-lived. Trust me, your emotions will go through many more ups and downs before you achieve real peace. It's why they call it a roller-coaster. So what have you been doing to make yourself a better person?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Your feeling of "peace" will be short-lived. Trust me, your emotions will go through many more ups and downs before you achieve real peace. It's why they call it a roller-coaster. So what have you been doing to make yourself a better person?
Fair enough, that makes sense. I should probably expect another few more terrible times then?
Honestly, I've just been focused on finding who I am without her. I've stopped the negative behavior, and the obsessing, and I know just doing that has contributed to my new happiness. I've been trying to become more responsible with finances, because I never really was. She's an accountant, so she handled everything. I never had to worry about it, but now I'm sticking to a budget and making sure everything is paid and on time and what not. Little things like that, where I can consistently do them and improve those aspects of myself.
Other than the little stuff, I haven't really tried becoming a better person, per say. I know it sounds arrogant, and that's not my intention, but I'm honestly a pretty good guy. I'm not sure where I would begin on trying to become better, although I know there's always room for improvement in one's self.
Other than the little stuff, I haven't really tried becoming a better person, per say. I know it sounds arrogant, and that's not my intention, but I'm honestly a pretty good guy. I'm not sure where I would begin on trying to become better, although I know there's always room for improvement in one's self.
WntHope,
I understand, I felt (and feel) the same way. There are some things I need to do to be better, but overall, I'm a good person, a good dad and I was a good husband (confirmed by the MC).
I'd recommend finding something (or somethings) to do that really keep you engaged and excited. My thing turned out to be making home improvements; I never thought that'd be the case, but it happened. I got up every morning thinking about what I could do to make the house look better and I continue to do that. It got me through the hard days without missing a beat.
I understand, I felt (and feel) the same way. There are some things I need to do to be better, but overall, I'm a good person, a good dad and I was a good husband (confirmed by the MC).
I'd recommend finding something (or somethings) to do that really keep you engaged and excited. My thing turned out to be making home improvements; I never thought that'd be the case, but it happened. I got up every morning thinking about what I could do to make the house look better and I continue to do that. It got me through the hard days without missing a beat.
I'm glad you found something to help you through the bad days. I've been thinking about putting the pent up energy I have into going to the gym finally. I've been a chubby guy my whole life, and the guy she left me for is in way better shape than I am. I'm not saying I'd be doing it to get her back, but it would help with me moving on if need be.
I've been a chubby guy my whole life, and the guy she left me for is in way better shape than I am. I'm not saying I'd be doing it to get her back, but it would help with me moving on if need be.
I'm in good shape now, but five years ago I was in great shape. I'd lost 65 pounds and could run a full marathon on any given day. I could kick @ss and I loved the feeling. I need to get back to that again; there's nothing like being great shape. (It's also fun to be physically imposing enough to scare the h3ll out of the OM. )
I hope you can get into a regular fitness routine; you'll love the results.
)