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Aged pa has been with me for a week or so whilst Glam sis has a holiday in Greece. Because of the strikes by air traffic control she nearly didn't get away. I am glad she did.

My time has not been my own.

Tenants moved out of my rented house and there was a great deal to do. My conservatory at the big house is filled with furniture as the old tenants left lots of stuff.

My chest has been very poorly, although I have exercised every day.

Clever nephew is living with me and has only just got a car so it's been lifts to work and back for 6 weeks.

Clever nephews half sis confused child (same dad different mom) has had a complete breakdown. Her mom was OW in Glam sis M and is off the planet evil as OW. That wayward xH and his OW have split (Karma) through a new OW (karma in spades). So I may end up with confused child living with me and clever nephew as she is homeless and staying on her friend's mums couch having been abandoned by all except clever nephew. It reminds me of fostering H1 two sisters at his age. Same cycle, different peeps. This isn't my responsibility to do although I will support clever nephew.

Things trundle on Msd I posted on your thread about truth and OW. I believe in truth darts. Poor Giggalo with an ex W who won't pay up and won't meet his demands. Who insists on best behaviour in court.

Who has outed his L as being fake.

Who has revealed to the court he is in Italy with OW8 and that he lied on his divorce forms.

Who has outed him as a serial philanderer and compulsive gambler.

He will have to stay in Italy or find a new gf to sponge off. Technically these will be gfs not OW since we are D. I feel sad for his targets.

I am trying to see the humour in it, I think it's my way out of the hurt. Apart from brief moments there has been no anger and most of it was around my mother. His comments that my aged pa should smother my mother were awful. Followed by its easy to do and I should know have played on my mind a great deal. For my own safety sake I want this finished and over with. The fin part done whilst he is with OW8 who is wealthy.

I will not be abused and that includes living with smears and lies. The truth will out in due course.

I fully expect that this Giggalo may try to hoover me back, so complete dark and NC is my stance.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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One aged pa story

Aged pa was helping me wash dishes whilst I was out shopping, he filled the dishwasher a generous squirt of washing up Liquid!

One very clean kitchen later.......

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Originally Posted By: Vanilla
One aged pa story

Aged pa was helping me wash dishes whilst I was out shopping, he filled the dishwasher a generous squirt of washing up Liquid!

One very clean kitchen later.......

V
haha oh my what a mess.

Finding the humor does work.


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Vanilla,

I'm glad your pa has been staying w/you for a bit. I'm sure he's enjoyed himself. I'm sure your kitchen is spotless now, not that it wasn't before. He really did try to help by doing the dishes. I'm sure you had suds everywhere, but you did find the humor in the situation.

I'm sorry your chest is doing poorly. I hope that you are feeling better soon.

I hope that the tenats didn't leave too much of a mess, i.e., painting, carpeting replaced, etc. for you to do.

You have so many balls up in the air...I do hope that you can find some time to carve out for a little bit of "me time".

Please take care of yourself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Short term goals

I havery been reflecting on goals. I have medium and long term goals.

A client asked me today "V how have you got through this"

My answer is "one day at a time"

I have goals that are very short term and largely only last for an hour such as I will do an hours ironing.

Today I made myself go to the gym,I did two hours as I always do. Each large gold has mini very short term goals, such as I put washing in the machine every morning and it's ready when I get home.

I deal with mail every day.

And so on. These are tiny mini goals even down to cleaning the van.

And I can just do that one thing for that small goal.

That's how I get through my day.

Sometimes my goal is not to do something- such as eat the cake or miss a meeting.

Other times its very minor indeed such as clean sheets day twice a week. Today I turned the mattress. Yesterday I fixed a drawer base.

Tiny tiny things. So normal and keeps me on track.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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In my darkest days I thought about translating this poem or my favorite stanza to French (I'm French) and tattooing it on my side. I still want a tattoo but I don't know what. I love this poem

Originally Posted By: Vanilla
If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

----------------------------
Or thriver my loving one

Apologies to Rudyard Kipling

---------------------------

V




Me: 32 W: 29 T:8 M: 6 D4 S2
M - 8/2008
W is not happy - 1/2014
W wants D - 9/2014
W moved out - 11/2014
D filed - 1/23/2015
D'ed - 2/25/2015
Gave X the Letter - 11/10/2015
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I am inching forward.

Finally got copies of the Giggalos filings and court date.

I have full permission for the court for discovery, so I am moving forward.

I will prepare a list for discovery, I get one shot so I will take my time.

I used the word Wazzock on Phoebe thread. Her sitch has some similarities to mine and of course some differences.

A vanishing WH who wants everything and in one way or another believes they have the right to all of it.

I laid out my game plan to Phoebe in case I am being watched.

The Giggalo is arrogant and his L is fake. We will see what is made of that.

I had my hair cut and coloured today at a proper hairdresser for the first time in 3 years. Can't really afford it, now I am going out again it will boost my confidence a bit.

Another pound of weight lost, with all the effort I make really it should be more. I will assess if there is any error in my eating.

I seem much better of late although my confidence is still rock bottom and I am questioning this phase of the Kubler Ross cycle, is it interlocking with the grief for my mother? Do I have two cycles running?

Certainly I am very down.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Certainly I am very down.


Vanilla,

You think you're down? I recently asked a wonderful woman to go skinny dipping with me in the English Channel and she turned me down because she says it's too cold to skinny dip in the English Channel in October. Can you believe that excuse? Can you imagine the rejection the rejection I feel?

Regardless, I hope you start feeling better. Drink some tea and warm those cockles...

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Hi lovely V, I'm sorry you're feeling down - but not surprised as you have a lot going on, plus grieving for your Mum. As Doodler says, gentle things - cup of tea, self care...not sure about the skinny dipping. Has Doodler tried the English Channel in October? I'm not sure I even fancy that in July...now Doodler, if it was the Bahamas...

Take care V - I'm glad you got your hair done and lost a pound....baby steps.

Xx


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We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Family time again

Wedding in Scotland ofor Fav Cousins daughter on Thursday

Packing to go, glam sis, aged pa, and clever nephew will be there.

Usual suspects.

It's a long drive, I am picking up aged pa.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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