CRW, did you ever find happiness on your own before you met your GF? Did you ever grieve the end of your M? Did your kids acclimate to their parents D yet?
I think you know where I am going with this. You were so distressed when your W left you and now you seem upbeat and optimistic. Happiness comes from within, not from other people. Look, if you don't break co-dependency on your own, you will transfer it from one R to the next. Your eyes have been opened to this so look at the big picture.
You now know there are other fish in the sea and that's good. I think you should cut off this R entirely, focus on being alone and being a parent, and then call her up if you are still thinking about her in a few months or year.
You are here asking for advice so that's my advice. In the mean time, there are some great books on breaking codependency. I think we can all benefit from understanding that. Any M or long term R can fall into codependent patterns, but you don't have to, you can now enter the next one being your own, stronger self.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
