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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Thanks Don, that is an interesting perspective. I'm a very sentimental type and while I would never want to be with my ex again, it does always sadden me that our past was erased. I don't like thinking any part of my life didn't mean anything or needs to be something I should forget. If that makes sense. I think that's why I hold onto relationships a little too hard. I like to think the love and energy and the little part of my soul I give meant something to someone.

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You are saying exactly what I was trying to point out. I'm not as sentimental but have the same type of thoughts in that how can two people share everything together for nearly 15 years and then not communicate a single time in 5? How does life work like that? I don't want it to. It also really makes it hard for me to trust again. I had fears prior that I expressed to now ExW but she assured me she would never do the things she went onto do. It's as if I laid out exactly what not to do, exactly what my fears were and then years later she did exactly that. It's as if I saw the future, expressed my concerns and then had it happen anyway. Perhaps that's why I've not had the same level R since then in the past 10 years with anyone.

So like many things in life, while it can be a struggle to co patent and continue to see an ex, it's also quite odd not to - ever, at all. I would be willing to bet your ex thinks more about you than you think he does.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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I just asked out the guy I've been talking to on Eharmony. I do not ask guys out.

I find myself looking forward to his messages, He's funny, we've got the same sense of humour, has 2 kids 9 and 12, lives 10 min away, is employed, has a house,and has been divorced for two and a half years and just started dating in February. I have much respect for that. he thinks I have my chit together. Shhhhhh..... don't tell him the truth.

Hopefully he says yes.

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job Offline
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There's nothing wrong in asking a guy out. It's not the "olden/golden" days any longer. I hope you get a yes and can go out and enjoy yourself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Excellent ginger

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Wow! That sounds lovely, Ginger!


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
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Ginger, I was once told "this is not a date, it is a meeting" ...so technically you didn't ask for a date lol. IMHO, it's best to meet early on and not get into a textual relationship etc. They say, and I think it's true, that the longer you message the less likely you are to actually meet. Good luck!


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Thanks everyone!

So he emails me back and says " are you crazy? You think I'm just going to throw caution to the wind and meetup with you?" Or something like that.

Then he tells me just kidding. He said it's a busy week and if I'd like to talk on the phone that would be fine and we could aim for next week.

He literally freaked me out when he said that because I was like " the one time I ask a guy out he thinks I'm nuts"! We shall see. It is tricky with kid schedules. This weekend my ex ended up screwing me somehow and I do not have Saturday to myself like I thought. He pissed me off very badly yesterday with something else I just don't feel like discussing much more with him.

Anyways. I reached out to someone who shall remain nameless because a family member is very sick. I think it was the right thing. He was very friendly, but I think I came to that harsh realization. I think he would rather not hear from me. It took me a while to really piece that together. I thought I was doing the right thing by being friendly and I really still do care. But if I care I realize he needs me out of his life and I need to stay out. So I will. It's all good, but I feel kind of stupid. I'll get over it.

On a good note this new gym type place opened up 2 minutes away from my house. I went to the into this Saturday. It's a 10 week fitness challenge place where you do their exercise classes 5 days a week and follow their nutritional program. They are letting me try it for a week because I need to see how it goes bringing D9 there 5 days a week at 6. Tonight was cardio night, I modified for me foot and I found it pretty easy actually. It was fun.

I haven't gained weight but I feel gross. I need my exercise. I liked being a part of a group. I've been losing myself lately and I need to get me back and just feel good!

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One more small ponderance I came to driving to work today (that' where I do too much thinking)I started off the year full of hope, excitement and love expecting this year to be the year where the real changes I have been hoping for were going to happen.

Well, it didn't happen as I thought it might. Instead I ended up with my heart broken, back on AD's and a wreck at one point bursting out in tears in random public places, lol. But my point is, I have come to a lot of realizations this year. Just like the one above. I am emotionally intelligent enough to realize things even when it hurts. I am not afraid to admit to my feelings or being wrong or right about them. I can handle hurt quite well and learn from it. I'm pulling a lot of wisdom out of crappy situations.

So, it hasn't been all horrible. something to be learned, something to be gained.

Ok, that was pretty deep for me.

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Ginger,

On the bright side, at least you're not shipwrecked on a small uncharted island in the middle of the Pacific with little hope of being rescued. And, you have that luscious, long and curly hair.

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