Cherry. He's gone, but the drama has not

[Cherry]

Thanks sotto. Ultimately, I am glad he is okay, as hurt as I am by him. I do think that he is deeply troubled, and as much as it hurts- I can't help him, I've tried. I've had depression since I went through cancer treatment years ago. I know how horrible it is, but for it take you to such a dark place you feel the world is better without you. But I know I have done all I can and more to help him.

There is a little more calm in the house, but a sadness to. I guess now I'm just battling many emotions, including confusion at how we went from the most loved up couple sharing everything and him completely obsessed with me and the most caring man, to this. But not only is he pushing me, he doesn't even seem to want to connect with S, which hurts. But S is seemingly ok, there's the odd- "where's daddy gone", and a few tears in the night. But with the help of great family, he feels loved.

There is some strange feelings, maybe it's that I've let go of him some more. But I feel single, for the first time. And it's strange. I'm sure you all know that exact feeling from a couple and always putting their needs first, to suddenly only answering to yourself.

You will be glad to know I dragged myself out today, took S out and met a friend for coffee. And bought myself some pretty new treats to cheer me up. Got a few things planned in for the weekend, so worry not- I shall be up and at um.

[Cherry]

Just journaling my thoughts and venting a frustration, feel free to skim past this if you like.
Just had a crying session by something that probably should have made me cry. A former best friend of wh heard wh had moved out. He was asking how I was holding out etc.
It didn't take long before he swooped in offering to take me away for the weekend. If I wanna go on a date, that he thinks I'm beautiful and always has, and what a big mistake wh has made and bla bla bla.
I dunno, maybe I should see this as a compliment. But in my hormonal state, it didn't. It made me kinda scared, like it's been one whole day since people learnt of the split. I'm 5 months pregnant and not officially divorced. It kinda scared me to my core, I am so so so not ready for this. The thought of another man, or being intimate with someone else right now scares the sheet outta me. I know i need to push the thoughts of my wh out, but let me grieve!

[Altair]

Aw Cherry, just stopping by for a hello.
I too, had a similar situation and response!
I think what triggers the sadness is that "OMG how could he have left you, so wonderful and beautiful?" and then you think, yeah, how is this happening?
Eventually, more people will know and it will get easier. Don't worry about the future, or future men! You got this!

[ForGump]

Cherry, just dropping by briefly. I haven't been keeping up w/ your situation. But this guy who is flirting w/ you ... just seems slimy, shallow and opportunistic to me. Doesn't really respect where you are, and is just wanting to get what he wants out of whatever encounter....

Be tough. Wish you peace.

[JksD]

Stay away from this guy, Cherry.

You need time to process what's going on. And he shouldn't be taking advantage of you right now.

Altruistic help would be asking if you need help with logistics, heavy stuff etc. Not asking to take you away for the weekend. Doodler should be able to help with altruistic suggestions.

(((Cherry)))

I am so sorry for the hurt you're going through. Is there anyone with you right now? Bff or mum?

I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.

[Surfer]

Cherry,

Don't change the game. Back in the saddle and work on you and your S. do things to make you happy and stay away from any roller coaster.

As for the guy? Real men don't peruse ex friends wives or anyone's wife. Slime balls do though. Sounds like a real catch that one.......give him a swerve. you have had enough dramas for a while. Time to let life settle down.

Surfer.

[Cherry]

Thanks guys. Don't worry, I know that. And there's no way him or any other male is going to come in my life right now. My focus is entirely on me and my little family. I know it's going to take a long time before I would even entertain a r with anyone else. I'm not ready for that at all! And I see him as exactly what forgump said, a slimy opportunist!

Surfer, definitely back in the saddle. Off out today to see family.

[Sotto]

I think you are wise Cherry. Look at it this way - if a good friend of yours left her H next Tuesday, would you be in touch with him on Thursday saying - oh I always thought you were handsome, she's giving up a lot, would you like to have a drink sometime...weekend away??

Yikes!! That's not much of a friend he has...

Have a good weekend xx

[PsySara]

Oh wow, that dude didn't wait for the bed to cool before trying to jump in, huh? I would use this more as an ego booster than a serious thought. You're 5 months pregnant and not yet divorced and the guys are already calling? Hawt dam Cherry, you're a sexy lady! Then simply tell the guy, "Sorry but no." Then walk away with a spring in your step knowing you still "got it."

You are amazing and strong, you are a titan.

[Cherry]

Belieeeeeve me, nothing is further from my mind than taking on another man! Obviously deep in my heart, I long for my wh to work on himself and then come back and we could maybe work things, but I also know that possibly won't happen, so I need to let him go, and in time, build a different r where we can get along for the kids sake. In a sitch like this, I look to surfer for some inspiration. He's let his ww go, handles her crazy mood swings, builds his own life and kills it as a parent. You too Sara, you pick up the pieces every knock and still manage to be Wonder Woman.

I shall take it as a compliment, but give a little bye Felicia. It's time to adapt to life by myself and build myself back up again, this time, as a single kick a$$ mom!! I have been quite surprised at the male attention, then sometimes you see them glance down and see my bump and be like "wish". But as a single pregnant lady who feels anything but glowing, I shall take these compliments and leave it at that. A few plans in today. It seems any dealings with h is done by his mom. It's kinda hard to see him being caring about someone but not me or S, but maybe she can be the lifeline he needs. She is angry, and doesn't want her kindness to be taken for condoning, but I've give her some heads up on validating. He asks her "how are the others" referring to us, bit painful, but it is what it is.