So he moved out yesterday, he has essentially got exactly what he wanted. After he moved out (and said nothing). He came back to my house for a few hours in the night. Just to sit in my living room. This morning he came round, asked how I was (I'm five months pregnant in case anyone didn't know, and I started to bleed last night). Started arguing with mil accusing her of doing something (it makes no sense, no one knows what she is supposed to have done). He came and told me he was not going to live anymore he has had enough, and make sure I look after the kids. I followed him and asked him what he was meaning. He said he was going to kill himself, and that I would receive a letter explaining why he did this. He then left the house, left his car. I went to the hospital, got back his car was there. Contacted the police saying what he told me. At some point he collected his car, officer called him- he said he was fine. He said he would come to the station and have a wellness check. He hasn't been. They visited me and took details, filed a missing persons. And said they would contact me. I have a feeling he will deny it.
I don't know if this is a cry for help. But I had to take it seriously. I sent him messages, anti db, but the basic jist was that he was loved, come home, and just think of the kids- no one else. He may never forgive me for doing this, but I stand by my decision. If I hadn't done this and he did something stupid I'd never forgive myself.
What a long day! I can't help but think, he has gotten exactly what he wanted- so why has he gone worse?!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
He really does. But what concerns me is that he will quite happily lie as he already did to one officer over the phone. And if he appears fine when they make contact, they cannot have him admitted to any care facility. He has to be showing some obviously erratic or severely depressed behaviour. He is extremely good at coming across fine and making out that he never said such thing.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Cherry- you did good and maybe saved a life. His lies and drama, there is really no way of knowing where the truth actually is.
Breathe deep and know that out there people like me love you and are proud of you.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Desperate people sometimes play suicide games. This is a way to control your behaviour. "If I threaten suicide they will do this [love me, be desperate etc]." It is very desperate and unsophisticated.
I am not saying your H is doing this, but he may be. Whatever happens just play it very clinically. He either needs medical help or he needs to grow up. Either way just be calm and caring. Don't get sucked into the rollercoaster - it could be his aim. Even if it's not his aim it could happen.
You are doing great. I hope you get further clarity soon. Either way it's work tomorrow so I presume you can check if he has turned up?
Surfer.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
Guys, thank you for all the support. It's been a very busy and difficult couple of days. There has been several calls back and forth to the police. He has been back a couple times to the property today. He has been EXTREMELY distressed. He has been angry, upset. Give his final goodbyes. Dodged the police, told them over the phone he is fine. Told us to tell them to leave him alone. You name it we have had it. I've recorded his conversations where he admits to feeling extremely depressed, his plans for suicide, him saying his final goodbyes etc. I'm waiting on another police visit, I will give them the recordings. He clearly needs some emotional support and urgent medical care.
I'm staying strong. I have read up on talking to a suicidal person. There's been no anger. No trying to drag him to the marriage or even home. I've told him right now I don't care for any of that, I just want him happy, alive and well even if that doesn't involve me. And that's the truth, even if he has given up on the marriage. That's fine. I just want him alive, and I want him to get the help he so desperately needs.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
I am so sorry about this. I can't imagine handling all of this, please make sure you lean on friends and family at this difficult time and don't try to handle it all by yourself. I know you are so strong and clear-headed, but I used to be like that and it has taken a huge toll on me physically after many years. Take care of yourself!
It sounds like you're doing everything perfectly, it was brilliant to record the conversations so you can prove what he's saying to you.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
