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A Message from Michele
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Topic Options
#2603480 - 09/01/15 11:16 PM Re: 180's that work [Re: LinTheMonk]
SParker Offline
Member

Registered: 08/29/15
Posts: 34
Loc: Missouri
I feel like I'm following in some of your same footsteps! Not exactly, but close enough.

I needed to see this right now & keep hope that my H & I will take the next step in reconciliation as well... some day!

Hope things continue to improve for you!
_________________________
Me:46 H:42
T:7 M:5
MD(H SD):24
MS(H SS):19
MS(H SS):13
Separated on & off most of '15
WAH last left 8/15
WAH changed locks & Bank account of joint business 8/15

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#2644083 - 01/17/16 06:28 PM Re: 180's that work [Re: TryingToDo180]
hmc Offline
New Member

Registered: 01/06/16
Posts: 20
He wants to he friends! Help... should I be a friend back? I want my husband back not a roomate/friend...

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#2646228 - 01/23/16 11:21 AM Re: 180's that work [Re: hmc]
job Offline

Member

Registered: 01/16/00
Posts: 24122
Loc: Maryland
hmc,

Friends do not treat friends the way these people do. Friends to him is like friends w/benefits. He wants to come across to others as the good guy and be able to tell others that you are okay w/the way everything went down. He wants to keep the door open so that if he needs something, you'll drop what you are doing and accommodate his needs (whatever he wants or needs at the moment).

Sure, you can remain civil and/or friendly, but I hope he doesn't disappoint you w/his definition of being friends.

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#2708595 - 10/06/16 07:32 AM Re: 180's that work [Re: job]
2Lady Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/16
Posts: 98
Something isn't clear to me. When we talk about 180, are we talking about changing personal behaviors to the opposite, or are we talking about "The 180" mentioned here?:

https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/

If they are different it might not hurt to have a sticky in this forum explaining that because a lot of us may have come across "the 180" and think that this is what this forum is about.

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#2709881 - 10/13/16 01:15 PM Re: 180's that work [Re: 2Lady]
Esame Offline
Member

Registered: 04/11/16
Posts: 461
Originally Posted By: 2Lady
Something isn't clear to me. When we talk about 180, are we talking about changing personal behaviors to the opposite, or are we talking about "The 180" mentioned here?:

https://beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com/the-180/

If they are different it might not hurt to have a sticky in this forum explaining that because a lot of us may have come across "the 180" and think that this is what this forum is about.


Hi 2Lady, I hope you are well.


I think they are a sticky but in newcomers under the title "Sandi's Rules".
_________________________
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"

“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask "What if I fall?"
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”

-Erin Hanson






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#2709919 - 10/13/16 07:00 PM Re: 180's that work [Re: 2Lady]
Rose888 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/16
Posts: 583
Michele talks about the180 technique in Divorce Remedy. She describes it as doing the exact opposite of what you have been doing.

That list of points that you linked to is not in DR. I don't know if that list originated with Michele, or if it started as a reader's attempt to provide more details.

Certainly, for many of the people who come to this site, following the list is doing the opposite of what they've been doing.

I highly recommend reading Michele's books. Don't just read the forum.
_________________________
Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16

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#2709970 - 10/14/16 06:13 AM Re: 180's that work [Re: Rose888]
MrBond Offline
Member

Registered: 06/18/08
Posts: 12600
2lady, did you actually read DB or DR? I know I've asked you before and it just seems like a lot of your posts ask about subjects described in detail in the books.
_________________________
M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER

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