I feel for your Daughter, it hurts reading it but I am so glad that you are her dad. I read your posts and see a dad that will get them through this and any other problem. Keep it up. Superheroes don't only wear capes, they are strong parents too. You are a hero.
This quote came to me, after a particularly challenging interaction and situation with my WAW, who expressed great anger in the time after the BD...The anger spilled over onto my oldest daughter.
This quote had an impact on me that began a surge of strength in the days and weeks after that have helped turn the tide for me.
I have gathered strength and fought off the depression, anxiety, weight loss and sleep deprivation of the LBS, and it was this statement that made me realize what was at stake...and that I had the power in me to rise up from it all.
I have battled and defeated foes that were causing havoc in my realm and to those that I love...but the battle is not over...
Internal demons and villains have to be faced...alliances with those that can help me understand the powers that I posses are being made...companions that will join my team and fight with me to enjoy peace, happiness and growth will be found...and a shift in my higher power and closer relationship with the God that I believe in all will be worked towards.
This is the continuation of the story...the story that will have a happy ending...because I am still writing it...Some may see it as a hero story...others simply as a story of a man that was broken,and then put back together...Either way, if I can leave a trail of knowledge, experiences or little nuggets of wisdom that can help someone when they find themselves in a dark place. A dark place like they never imagined...then I will have made a small repayment for the great compassion, guidance and new friendships that were provided to me when I thought all was lost.
I pray for each of you that the strength be granted to help you on your journey... to write your story...and create a happy ending as you would like to experience.
"Nothing is given to man on earth - struggle is built into the nature of life, and conflict is possible - the hero is the man who lets no obstacle prevent him from pursuing the values he has chosen." -Andrew Bernstein
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Here's a toast to my favourite super hero and his words of wisdom.
In your present incarnation as wolverine, may you have the strength to accept what will be, the courage to change that can be changed. I am sure that you have the wisdom to know the difference.
(((SH)))
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
"If you're writing about a character, if he's a powerful character, unless you give him vulnerability, I don't think he'll be as interesting to the reader." - Stan Lee
"This is the continuation of the story...the story that will have a happy ending...because I am still writing it..." Sh_
"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies. BD: Feb '16 D: Mar '17 Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing. S6
Just dropping by to check on you. I hope you being quite is a good sign.
Your recent postings seem (to me) written like a fiction/fantasy. I know you use the hero analogy and run with that. No harm there. Without judgement or criticism I wonder if it is the real you?
I hope you and your daughters are keeping well. Another curiosity on my part, how did your D get on with her attempts to create situations where she would be rejected?
Best wishes Sage Homme ( just testing your french!!)
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
In your present incarnation as wolverine, may you have the strength to accept what will be, the courage to change that can be changed. I am sure that you have the wisdom to know the difference.
With experience I am gaining in this wisdom...still a long road ahead, but I am focused on this point as I push on.
Ct, I love to have found a fellow comic story ner...er..comic story enthusiast...we are not nerds, just folks that enjoy learning from characters whether fictitious or real...There are lessons that can be learned and if we are nerds, well, as I see it, nerds are pretty much running the world...Bill Gates anyone???
roist my dear friend. I was just thinking about you. Yes, I am doing fine even though I have pullback a bit...trying to refocus my direction and need to look with in.
Originally Posted By: roist
Your recent postings seem (to me) written like a fiction/fantasy. I know you use the hero analogy and run with that. No harm there. Without judgement or criticism I wonder if it is the real you?
Might you expound on this a bit? What do you mean when you ask if this is the real me? I don't take it as judgement or criticism, I am curious about your perception in more detail and I might be able to share more as to my thoughts for this...
My daughters are doing well. D18 has kept true to her efforts to overcome the challenging fear of rejection. She just shared with my how she is doing well and gets several rejection per day and is feeling stronger for it. She has really forged forward and I can see the benefits for her. She goes after what she wants like a bulldog and is a true example to me. So proud of her.
Thank you for each of you dropping by and supporting my continuation here.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Hey, I am a proud nerd and wear the badge with flair! I am on the lowest person on the totem pole, I'm a Trekkie for crying out loud. When other girls had pictures of teenage heart throbs on their walls I had Star Trek characters, mostly Spock.
Nerds rule the world, we patiently tolerated being stuffed in lockers and having quantum wedgies given to us. Now those perpetrators mow our lawns and walk our dogs. The best revenge is success, eh? (smiles evilly)
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
I have always been fond of the saying "The geeks will inherit the Earth." Quirky nerdiness is a virtue, as far as I'm concerned.
Silver Heart, I am just stopping by to say hello, and wishing you well on your AD tapering adventure. I'm about 2 weeks into my 25% reduction, and I'm doing OK. I had a few rough days, and I worried if the tapering SSRI roller-coaster was making those days worse, but, all in all, I think that I've been much more resilient of late. I think that I'm going to ask for another dose reduction when I see my doc again in a a couple more weeks.
My thinking also feels really sluggish at times, though I"m not inclined to blame that on my ADs. I think that it is a reflection of the incredible emotional turmoil that we've been through. Just getting through a single day now takes up a huge percentage portion of our intellectual band width. I find it amazing that LBSs still are able to function at all, but we do, and we do it pretty darn well, considering...
I have to get to sleep. I have been doing a bit better on that front lately, but tonight I am plainly falling down in the sleep hygiene department. I'm sitting here, tapping away at my keyboard at 3 am instead of sleeping. Time to fix that little problem...
SH, I hope that you are doing well, and that the numbness starts to clear.
good night!
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
I fell into a berserker rage and may have cut someone that I care for...
I am not getting out of this dark shadow, and it feels that the harder I try the more entrapped I become... It is pulling more tightly around me... The simmering frustration...anger...rage...why is it there? I am not angry at anyone! I just feel exasperated trying to accomplish things and then I lash out as those around me that try and tell me how I feel...what I meant by what I said...what I am thinking...feeling...doing...
I just need to go away for a spell. I need to understand what is real, perceived, and simply the projections of others...
I need to discover who I am without the influence of everyone around me telling me...telling me that I am not happy, that I seem upset, that I need to do this or that...
Why does it get to me so much? What is hiding under the surface that has such a spark that I try to snuff out, to avoid an explosion?
I don't understand it...
My inner demons are dark and vast, Some live in the present, some in the past. You can only hide them for so long, But they always peak their head, From the trapped doors in my memories, Through the closed doors in my mind, Between the cracks in my broken heart, Hiding in the dark alley's of my soul. Sooner or later these demons will gain control, Whenever, they see weakness from within your soul. These demons will test you at every turn, Wishing you to welcome them, Damning you to burn. Don't say anything and just look away, Block out their voices, only then, Can you start to make the right choices. Jarred Coleman
I don't have any other option but to withdraw from it all... I cannot contain it, it seems. This is not the person I want to look at in the mirror... This is not the life that I want to provide for those that I care for.
I pray for all that are in their own struggle...may peace...inner peace be found for you.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
