Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,368
Likes: 8
U
Member
OP Offline
Member
U
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,368
Likes: 8
Thanks and back at you, Ginger...love ya, girl. A lot.

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,327
Likes: 20
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,327
Likes: 20
UR!!!!!!!!!!!

Missed ya!

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,654
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,654
Welcome back. I have not read your story but I feel I know you a little. As part of my homework I am reading all of forever Young s threads. As you posted often there I got a glimpse of you. You were a good wise friend to him along his path.

Best wishes


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,368
Likes: 8
U
Member
OP Offline
Member
U
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,368
Likes: 8
Hiya Tad! How are you?

Hi Roist. Thanks for your kind words. Yea, me and FY go way back.
He's a good man.

Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,297
Likes: 113
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,297
Likes: 113
I am so glad you came by for a visit. We miss you, but I also understand that you've had some things to take care of. How are you and your son doing?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,327
Likes: 20
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,327
Likes: 20
I'm doing fine my friend. Best way to describe it is: I'm at peace with things. And that's good. I've been doing well at work and have taken up photography as a hobby. I love it! So glad that you are back!

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,077
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 2,077
UR! it's so nice to hear from you. I hope things are going well with you and your son. When it comes to DB vets, you are truly one of the best of the best, and have helped so many. I'm sending love your way. smile

Originally Posted By: roist
As part of my homework I am reading all of forever Young s threads.


Homework or sentence? My condolences go out to you. grin


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,368
Likes: 8
U
Member
OP Offline
Member
U
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,368
Likes: 8
Hi Job. Thanks for stopping by. I am doing ok, thank you. I have come to accept that my life is not going to be a simple one...at least it hasnt been. But there is always the hope that it will be. :)>

I am hanging in there. My son has had some setbacks, but, he is an amazingly strong young man, so he keeps on going. I am blessed.

I hope you are well. Ive missed you and this place.

Hi FY. Thank you for your kind words. I see you are doing well and still moving forward. I am so very happy to hear it.

Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,368
Likes: 8
U
Member
OP Offline
Member
U
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 3,368
Likes: 8
So, just some thoughts.

When I was first on here, I just didnt get this stuff. It seemed counterintuitive to what I felt I should be doing. Let him go? What??? Move forward? Live my life? But, but....I have to hang on to him. If I let him go, he will keep going, I thought.

I used to tell posters to picture this. Someone is hanging onto your pants leg. You want them off. You pull and pull, so they hold on tighter. The more you pull, the tighter they hold. Until eventually, you just want them off...so you try your hardest to break the hold...anything to get away from them.

That is how an MLCer feels when we hold on. They cant move forward while looking over their shoulder at you. And you want them to move forward because that is their way out of their crisis. YOu want them to have silence to hear their thoughts and figure out what they need to.

The words they use are hard to hear. You dont have to like it, but, you want them to feel heard.

They way for all of that is for you to take the focus off of them and put it on you and your children. Leave them to their stuff because you dont want to get any of it on you. smile.

You want them to see someone strong and with dignity.

So leave them to their foolishness. You live your life. Figure out you. Find your passion.

The reason is that if they choose to look towards you in the future, you get to decide what YOU want from a place of strength.

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,132
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,132
Lovely UR

Quote:
you get to decide what YOU want from a place of strength.

Ayep! Believe it or not......the LBS does decide! I think in the early phases of this....we tend for forget this.


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard