So pleased with how I'm bouncing back. After two days of shock and hardly any sleep, I felt empowered to carry on with my life and be happy. It feel like that now my kids know her a weight has been lifted of my shoulder in a way that it's over! Usually I'd rush the kids to get ready to go and get their tea after their sporting activities as their dad would be shortly to pick them up, tonight I didn't and it was so stress free!
Today I feel like I'm the prize and I felt beautiful. I also read a lot of positive quotes. Work wise I have volunteered to deliver an assembly in front of 180 kids (way out of my comfort zone), and I'm going to do it on happiness! I feel so creative about it!
A very good day for me and I'm proud because before I'd have dwell on kids meeting OW for weeks, but two days later I'm fine. H deserves to be happy too, only how it came about is disgusting, but never mind tomorrow is another day.
Good for you Rouky. It's great when we get to that point where we recover pretty quickly. I can remember that and I came to see that whatever XH might be doing, I may be briefly upset about it - but that was his life and needn't upset my apple cart....progress for sure.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
What a positive posting. Never forget...you are the prize!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Had a very good session with IC and she was pointing out all the growth I have made over the last year. She added that in a year I have achieved a lot. She also noticed how my body language was changing every session. We discussed that there were still some issues I needed to deal with regarding letting go, although I'm slowly getting there.
I can't believe how him not introducing OW properly has lifted such a weight. IC reckons that for H, he thinks he was doing what he is right in his mind to fulfil his needs. She thinks that me telling the truth to the kids was being honest but also it was taking the power of H's hand as I have always protected him in front of the kids as I was hoping for R, whereas last weekend there was no need for me to do that! IC told me that when I have started with her I had some very pink tinted glasses about H, but his latest antics ( not telling me the girls had met OW, nor presented her properly) made me really see him for who he is, and I'm not afraid to say that he has stepped up as a dad but as a man he still not taking responsibility for his actions!
The dynamic with my kids has changed I know it has only been 4 days, but the kids have been easier to deal with generally speaking. Less stress, more cuddles and at times it feels like all the pain/ sorrow I had has vanished!
I love cooking but had dropped it for few years, but tonight I looked into my cupboards and decided to see what I found cook. I felt alive again!
Getting exciting for my assembly tomorrow as I'm using my own personal growth to deliver a message of happiness to my students.
Honestly I never thought I'd see the end of the tunnel but I can see it. I came here to save my marriage but truthfully I saved myself and that is worth going through this pain and process.
Thank you everyone for your support, kind words, encouragement and love. You have helped me in more ways than you think.
I'm so proud of you! You sound great! Keep up the good work!
Good luck tomorrow w/the assembly. I have no doubt that you will have plenty to share w/the group.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Had a brilliant assembly. Usually I'm really scared to speak in public but I felt powerful today. So another 180 for me!
Got to laugh at kids and H as without me prompting anything the kids have started to speak a bit more about H and OW. Kids got chicken and one of them is unwell and kids are concerned about it. Eldest said that H told her that he didn't stay with OW because chicken had to be given medecine (I was laughing at that point), but youngest said to eldest: dad could still have been able to help chicken in afternoon and see OW in evening! Was struggling not to laugh outloud! Then eldest said is OW's son their step brother, to which I said maybe one day but it's between H and OW but not possible at the moment because mum and daddy are still married! The beauty of it is while saying that to kids there was no animosity coming from me! Another 180!
Last 180, took eldest to doctor and she needs to go for a scan for kidneys ( kid is under 10), the old Rouky would have been a melo drama queen and cried not this time. I had to speak to H ( broke my going dark but that's ok), during the whole time I gave H facts, no emotion like it used to be. The funny part is I haven't seen him since I have talked to him about introducing OW to kids without letting me know, and his body language was very funny: the whole conversation his body was sideways and not once did he looked at me! It made me laugh.
All in all glad that kids know about OW, I was able to put the truth to them and now I feel free as I can see no hope of going back with H. I'm at peace and today for a very long time H didn't occupying my thoughts! I felt free and I'm at peace as no matter what happens I'm ok with the outcome. No more hope, no more heartache, pain and this is such a relief!
I am so glad that everything went well today. I'm sure everyone enjoyed your presentation and took something away from the assembly. See, you can do this! You can step outside your comfort zone and do well...now...on to the next challenge!
I hope your D is okay.
Hang in there! I think you are doing great!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you so much Job for your kind words. You always have been of a great support and advice.
My next challenge is signing Christmas songs in my town for a charity concert. In never like singing and I don't think I'm a good singer anyway, but I took some singing lessons and my old teacher asked me if I wanted to sing some Christmas Carol with her for a charity and this one is closed to my Heart. My MIL used to support it too, so in her honour I'm going to take the plonge and do it. I'm scared but got two months to get prepared for it!
You can do this! What better way than to sing Christmas carols w/your former teacher. You will do great and you know what...it's the thought that counts and what better time of the year than Christmas to go out there and sing some carols and share in the festivities. Miracles seem to happen during the holidays and it's a time of giving of oneself and Rouky, you will be giving of yourself. People will appreciate the time and effort that you put into this.
I can't wait to hear how it goes! Stay positive!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
