If I do really get you its because I have the very very strong feeling we are very much alike. I know what you are feeling because you and I are going through much of the same and I'm betting we are a lot alike. I'd totally hang out with you if we didn't live so far away. Again, just like you, some of my best friends are of the opposite sex. So if nothing else, and if nothing worse, we are abnormal together!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Been off the boards for a while, but I wanted to stop by. I really relate....
Ex spouse that does the bare minimum with his child. Hard to comprehend and accept. Sure it's their loss, but as moms we want for our kids what every kid deserves. And it's frusturating.
Desire for intimacy. Yes! It's normal. We are human. (I started dating someone perhaps when I'm not completely ready but I wanted that intimacy). Honestly, it makes no sense why your having trouble. A guy would be lucky to have you. You pretty much have everything going for you and a lot to be admired. Maybe it's the area? Maybe you send out the super independent signals and guys get intimidated? I don't know. I'm not a guy, but if I was I'd go for you...(but I'm also very smart ). I'm positive you will find someone that adores you and vice versa and I hope it's soon.
Finding an affordable place to live. I totally relate to this one, and would love to get out of the area like everyone else our age. affordable housing sounds like a dream!
Georgiabelle, thanks for stopping by! I thoroughly enjoyed your "wordy" post! (I might be the wordiest on here, so I loved it). I wish we could hang out, you are my kind of people! really, thanks for the compliments. Whenever someone says to me "you only have one kid?" I say yup, "she's 1x10!" I am also an only child, so I might be why people stop at one too!
Linda and Georigia, yes! I can handle myself alone, live my life, but yeah, I would love to grab an ice cream with "my guy" and my kid. Or have someone bring me coffee and rub my back and talk about our days. I'm sort of like a junkie, I had my first taste of that with exNG in so many years, I could totally go for that high again. My favorite times were when I got up there on a Friday, he's have dinner ready, pour me a glass of wine, and light the fire (literally) and ate dinner on together on the couch, then just talked and cuddled. I'd say I'm more of a recovering addict. I wouldn't do ANYTHING for a hit of that again. I'm keeping my smart pants on (pun intended). I don't just want anyone or to get it from anywhere. Just like I'll wait for the right home to buy, I will wait for the right guy to date. Gainfully employed and not a psycho or a criminal would be nice. I don't think it's asking for much.
It's funny, certain things that are so normal to others seem so incredibly elusive to me. Getting pregnant seemed like an impossibility and I couldn't believe it when the IVF worked (and then I almost miscarried) then the pregnancy turned around. It was surreal. Having a family, raising a child together also seemed surreal. I guess it was. Having a real relationship seems almost completely elusive also. Like it's a fairytale. But I see people in them everyday. I will tell you, if it ever happens, I'll never take it for granted.
Don- It's a relief in a way to have someone understand quite what I am dealing with and where I am in life. On the other hand, I am sorry you are dealing with this too.
I'd hang out with you too, maybe I could even be your wing-woman! Just gotta be hoping there is a greater plan we can't see just yet!
JuJU- I'm glad to see you back, I know, a break is often needed from these boards. I keep saying I'm going to take one, but it's my break from work at work. Plus, the felp I get around here is absolutely invaluable. Thank you also for the nice words. I think of you the same way, and I know when the time comes, you will have no issues there either. I was talking with a friend about this area and the men...... I really do think I need a change of scenery. A friend of mine just made a big move, she's 35 and single, and finding a partner is a big reason why she did it. This tri state area is a B!tch to afford. You could work your butt off, make decent money and still not be able to purchase a decent dwelling. Wanna be roomates?lol!
So, I thought about it after talking with a friend. I won't be so "booked" in the upcoming months, so maybe I'll try a paid, decent dating website. Maybe I'll get lucky my millionth time around:)
Ginger you never fail to make me laugh, smile, cry. Sometimes all at once. A paid decent dating website might be just the thing.
Originally Posted By: G
Having a real relationship seems almost completely elusive also. Like it's a fairytale. But I see people in them everyday. I will tell you, if it ever happens, I'll never take it for granted.
Amen to that. Me too, not ever. I had a 92 year old patient last night, with a loving doting, adorably cute old husband. I asked her how long she'd been married. 58 years. Later her STEP children dropped by to visit her. Mind=blown. She remarried at age 34 G, and it has lasted 58 years, and they are still demonstrably in love with each other.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Linda!!! I hate to make you cry, but I always love to make you laugh and smile:)
The kind of stories for your patients give me hope. And hope is really all I got. What has been so hard for me to deal with was that after I recovered from the D and the betrayal, I looked at the Brightside. I figured I was young, and if there was a light at the end of this tunnel, I would get a second chance at marriage and a family. I really thought (and so did everyone else) that by now I would be remarried with more kids. My second chance not seeming to happen sometimes is like a second bomb drop on my life. But I know something amazing must be in store for me. It may be online...... who knows?
Speaking of second chances.....the buyer on the condo fell through. I put a new bid in today. $10k higher. This is my last bid. I brought D9 to see it today. She loved it. I loved it again.I am showing my dad and his wife Sunday. So, maybe I'm getting a second chance.....
Keeping my fingers crossed that the seller will accept your offer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks. I put in my final bid today after showing the place to my dad and his wife. They like the place, but don't think it's worth anymore than what I am offering, so we will see.
I'ts been a nutty day. Lots of options have been running through my head. I don't know what I'll do if I can't buy here. I'm really stuck in a rock in a hard place. I brought up the idea of buying a house instead of a condo and my dad was not happy. this was just when we got to his BIL and MIL's. He got upset because he said I don't talk to him about anymore. It's sort of the truth. I don't talk about how I feel. I am kind of miserable, I feel so stuck and I don't tell him because I don't want to upset him. I told him that. I'm just surviving again. I'm in a crappy position. Good position I am not poor and I have a roof over my head, but I living in a sort of limbo doing it all myself with no real security is really rough on me. Then my dad got mad 5 seconds later his BIL wouldn't let him watch the football game and left and came back to my house. They have been having issues.
There were a few kids there, 2 that belonged to a couple who lived up the street, and a coworker of BIL's that I had met multiple times with their kid. She's a single mom, and it's so interesting to watch her with her daughter, but she is very much like with her daughter. It has got to be a single mom thing.
I played with all the kids (kids like me for some reason). Then the dad of the 2 kids starts hitting on me while his wife is there. Awkward. He thought I was 22, asked if I worked out because I look like I do, inviting me and my daughter over for play dates......my stepmother actually said something, because she saw it.
So, we came back to the house my dad was in an awful mood and they left.
I don't know what my path is at all.
I hate this so much.
On a good note I got some sleep this weekend. Even my ex came to pick D9 up on Friday night and said "wow, you got a weekend to yourself, it's been a while!"
I haven't seen IC in 3 weeks. I see her this Thursday. I need ot book 2 appts because I am so lost these days.
