Thanks for stopping by RAI. Time for some 2017 5k's, 10k's and halfs!
Hey Feyth! Like the name change! I am afraid I have to step away from the boards for a while. It was taking up too much of my mental energy and I think it stopped serving me well. Of course, I appreciate all the sound advise I get. I just get dragged back into not such of a good place when I stop by sometimes. I would find myself getting a bit depressed coming here and reading new stories and old stories. Not checking the site for the past 2 or so weeks I feel has helped a lot.
I don't think WW and I will end up back together which is too bad. I don't think she wants it bad enough and frankly, I don't know if I want it bad enough either. I am not looking forward to dating though haha! I plan on having a chat with her after the holidays. Until then, I will do a 180 and be overly affectionate and see if there is anything there. The way I see it, as long as the result regardless of what it is doesn't bother me, then it is fine.
And if I see one more baby announcement on FB I might put my fist through the computer screen! I hope you are doing well! Maybe I'll see ya at a 5k, 10k, half marathon, full marathon, iron man or cross fit competition someday ;-). Keep it up!
Hi Pinn, I completely understand about having to step back from the board. Sometimes you just need to focus on yourself and let things be. This place was my absolute savior when I was in the thick of the despair and I'm so grateful for that... But it keeps me attached to my sitch.
You've been so level headed throughout your journey. I think you're going to get to a point where you just know. You'll know exactly how you feel and what you want. Whatever happens, I know it will be the best for you! Ditto on the FB baby announcements... Oh and even engagement announcements.... Ugh it's that time of year for sure!
One day I will do an Iron Man! If you ever find yourself running in so cal- I may be around!
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Welcome to 2017 DB'rs. Sad to see so many new faces but happy that some others are getting on with things and are in a better place.
Things have been good. I have been doing all my usual activities and even tried out a spin class which was pretty awesome. I just hate the winter up here... ugh.
Starting in early December, I became super distant from WW. I never initiated contact or asked her to get together. I have to give her credit. She kept coming and never stopped. She would text me first every morning even though I was never reaching out. The holidays were good, we got together a few times. About a week before Christmas she asked me if we were exchanging gifts because she said she knew exactly what to get me. I said no that's ok. But I did get our nieces some small things. I love those girls.
New year's was coming and I was still pretty distant. She asked the day before if I wanted to do something because she didn't have any plans. I said I wasn't sure if I was going out with friends and I would let her know. Nothing ended up happening with my friends so I let her know at late afternoon on new year's eve we could get together. She ended coming over and spending the night. Nothing physical happened but it was pretty good. She came over yesterday for a bit and we had a small R talk. She said that I am not vested 100% emotionally. I said that is true, but it is hard for me to just commit and go all in after all that happened. She said she understands but she wishes I could try a bit. OK... fair enough.
So that's what I will do. It either works out or it doesn't. I think I am in a good spot for either outcome. I have two things I want to bring up and discuss outside of everything else we have to work out. First, I want to talk about kids and see where she stands. Second, and I will be real interested to hear what people think about this, I think I want to discuss a post-nup. We weren't married long so things would be pretty easy now in case of divorce but a few more years down the road and things will get very complex.
I got an email from my mom to start the new year saying that it is time for me to move on and there are plenty of other fish in the sea. She also said she thought that WW was 'emotionally, verbally and possibly physically abusive" towards me. This really got me going. Things are hard enough, I already know the opinion of everyone who is close to me. Even though it was a well intentioned note, I felt it was selfish on her part. What does this email do for me?... nothing. The abusive stuff is a bunch of garbage and not something to just throw around. No idea where she got that from but it really bothered me. Even if it were true, she would have no idea.
Anyway, keep on keeping on. 2017 is gonna be a-ok.
Happy Friday Pinn, Just checking in... No advice... I am just marveling at how well you are approaching your situation. What would happen if she said no to a post nup? Is that a deal breaker? Could it be viewed as you trying to control her and/or the situation at this time? Just things to consider. Don't get me wrong, I 10000% understand why you would want one and I think it's appropriate to protect yourself.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Thanks for stopping by as always Pax ;-). I actually hadn't even thought about from that point of view. I don't think it would be viewed as controlling. I honestly don't think a post-nup would stop anything if one was in place. It is just for protection because if you look 5-10 years down the line, then my assets would be substantial. It might be a deal breaker... not sure... have to think it through a bit more.
So tonight more fun with POS felon OM. Listen to this BS.... this guy is a legit problem. WW really f'd up on this one. I am going to end up on one of those shows one day... you wait and see.
WW came over today/tonight. We left the house and went and got dinner. WW forgot her pocket book and she realized right when we got home. I said no prob we can just go back and get it and she asked me if the pup could come for a ride. So I went inside to get him and use the bathroom and I come back out. The dog is doing his business and I see a car that kept going slowly by... I thought that was odd. Turns out it was POS felon. He got a new car that I didn't recognize, neither did she. Anyway, WW and I didn't realize it was him yet so we left to go get her pocket book. WW drives because I don't want only her car in the driveway because of this guy. We pull out of the drive way and make it about .25 miles when a car flies up behind us and is legit about 4 inches from WW's bumper. He is beeping and flashing his lights. This is all on back country roads. He then drives right up along side WW and is incredibly aggressive with the car. Scary aggressive. He passes us, pulls in front and then spins his car blocking the entire road and he flies out of his car. WW pulls in a drive way and is able to turn around and lose him. The rest of the night is filled with threats against me and constant texts to WW though he didn't see me in the car. 1 minute earlier and he probably would have pulled in my driveway and who knows what would have happened.
I told WW to get a restraining order against this scum bag.... this is crazy. Regardless of what happens with us, she needs that. But now she gets to go back to her place and I am stuck .2 miles away from the felons mommy's house (where he lives).
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time, in plant myself in WW's brain, and just observe what was going through her head in and around the bomb drop time.
Ah well... crazy. I should sleep well tonight. On the bright side, I found a half marathon I might do on my Hawaii trip!
