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Phoebe Offline OP
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Hello, Lovely Miss V. Yes, there has been some breathing room of late, and I have been trying to take as much advantage of it as I can. Thank you so much for checking in on me. I won't say that I don't still struggle, but in between the less frequent struggle-type days, I have a lot of good time.

SH (so happy to see you again, by the way!) I've still been thinking about MR's thought about weaving a basket deep enough and I guess it's still not getting through to me as well as I'd like. Like I said, I think that it is the enemy part of the story. That said, maybe it all comes back to the part where My own thoughts may well be my worst enemy. I need to go back and look at it from that perspective. Maybe that's what you were getting at.

I had a wonderful talk with my close out of state friend yesterday. We had a lot of catching up to do., as we haven't talked since July, and it as just so good to speak with her again. She has given me invaluable support throughout this whole process, and she has a lot of really valuable insight that I do appreciate hearing. She makes me recognize a lot of things in what has been happening. In fact, she was the person who recommended that I see a grief counselor, and that was the single best thing I've done for myself this past year.

I've continued to work on my Taj Ma(chicken)Hal project, and it's been slowly coming along, with strong emphasis on the "slowly" part. My motivation has been lacking of late, but I keep plugging away at it. Slow progress is still progress, by any definition. I have 2 walls standing, a third almost ready to go up,and the fourth is all cut and laid out. One of the more time-consuming aspects of this whole project has been covering the whole outside of the frame with 1/2" hardware cloth. Slow, slow, slow! That, and the fact that I'm over-building it... wink

I want this building to last a long time, be one that I can add onto eventually, and one that I could potentially convert from a roofed 10x12 chicken run with open walls to a completely enclosed building, should I ever choose to do so. For instance, I could convert it into a small goat barn, a milking parlor, a tool shed, or even a greenhouse. The sky's kind of the limit if it's built well enough the first time. Anyway, I am the tortoise in this race. I will get there... eventually. : ) winter is approaching rapidly, though!

I've done most of the work on my own, but I take help where and when I can. My father helped me when I went on the trip to buy and transport all the lumber, both my parents helped me raise the first wall after I framed it and L-friend and I got the hardware cloth attached. L-friend has helped me with the hardware cloth on the second wall, too, and is on board to do that for the other walls,, and h-friend has offered to help me next week with whatever needs to be done. Yeah!

Today, a distant neighbor who owns a little antique shop stopped by out of the blue while I was out working and brought me a Christmas gift!!! It was two vintage (maybe1920's, by the looks of them?) handmade pipe cleaner ornaments. I can't say enough how much it means to me to be cared about by so many people in my little community. I love that people feel comfortable enough to drop by spontaneously (strangely, STBXWH really didn't like it).

I have always believed that putting down roots matters, and I just want to let my roots grow deeper and deeper here. STBXWH dissed my house and the people in this community as being beneath him, but he could neither see nor feel the arms that were open and ready to welcome us both here. I feel them and this is my home. Every day I am grateful for my little farm and my land and the people around me.

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Phoebe

I have such a beautiful visionalisation of a Taj Mahal chicken parlour made with love and happy chickens.

Oh would I love to share a happy egg nog with you there.

What a wonderful family and friends you have around you, truly in deed a blessing.

I am enjoying about you puttinguys down roots where you are and establishing your home.

I know the courts have been a little unkind to you, (me too by the way), any update yet?

Do you have Christmas plans yet?

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Phoebe Offline OP
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Hi, Miss V!!! No specific Christmas plans yet, at all. I assume I'll spend it with my parents. We're all financial strapped this year, so we've pretty much decided that we''ll just have to exchange glances! smile

I am two weeks away from the anniversary of one of the best days in my life (my wedding), and also the worst day of my life (the day WH ran away, never to return). I go out to run a few errands in the land of Christmas countdowns and can end up feeling just plain overwhelmed. i see poinsettias all over the place and love them, yet am reminded that they were on my wedding invitations, and then also of the beautiful plant I bought to decorate our home for the holidays last year, only to have it end up living in my bathtub for months instead because there was simply no joy in Whoville last Christmas. I remember buying a Christmas tree with WAWH, then he was gone a few short days later. I was going to buy a tree today, and then just couldn't quite face it yet.

I have no extra money with which to buy gifts, given that the courts have limited me to my weekly "allowance" from StBXWH. Then I am remIndeed that WH, who told me that he was out running Christmas errands/shopping while he was at our other home last year, didn't buy me a single gift. His semi-spontaneous exit was planned enough to save him that effort. I made him hand-sewn gifts and was still dumb enough to GIVE them to him the first time I saw him, almost 3 months later.

This has always been my favorite time of the year, and now it is also a time of difficulty.

I'm thinking that I just going to bite the billet and go all in for the holidays. Reclaim them for my own. Go all "hair of the dog" on it by digging in deeper than I do on a normal year. Buy multiple poinsettias, decorate like crazy, get my tree up soon, do what I can with what I have, where I am. Maybe even string some lights on the coop!!!???


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
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Hi Phoebe, I understand how you feel. For me I just didn't want Xmas to be happening that first year. I didn't send cards, or have a tree. I just decided Xmas was one day, for which I had family plans and would get through it. I also had a nasty bug for the 10 days or so prior to Xmas, so I was either in bed or working quietly from home.

So, it was all a bit blah. Last year, I enjoyed it some more and had a few more decorations up and got more into the Christmas spirit. This year, I am having a tree, but it is a gold one and will be rather 'glam' - different from the family tree we used to have.

It does take time and for you the time of year is also bound up in the previous year. For me, BD was summer, so I didn't have that aspect. But I did have the comparison of the previous cosy family Xmas we had. Though looking back I can now see how out of sorts and detached XH had become.

Anyway, have the kind of Xmas that works best for you in all circumstances. If you can't afford presents, give home made chutney or eggs - or make a little something - or just give a card - or whatever seems to work best. Don't worry about it and know that next year, things should be resolved financially and you will be more settled too.

Take care Phoebe - you are doing really well.

Xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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I absolutely love your Xmas ideas Phoebe.

Go for it, really go for it.

Me too, I am claiming it back as mine.

And you know, Xmas gifts will show up in your life as you go with it. Life provides.

I wanted these happy posts at the tail end of the thread. Smelling of Christmas spice and glee.



Cadet will say time for a new thread. edit - YUP - Cadet

Hugs

V

Last edited by Cadet; 12/05/16 06:40 AM. Reason: message

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Sneaking in under the radar to say hi and that I hope there will be a new thread soon. wink


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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