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Maybs - Pt 3

Hawker, yeah retail therapy is the best sometimes!

Trying to relax this weekend, thinking about heading back to the mall, need some pants for work. Maybe tomorrow I'll go...

Today worked to clean the house, Moved all the furniture in the living room so I could steam mop the wood floor and also scrubbed the rug so it looks brand new!

Now I'm working on some laundry, should have everything done by tomorrow so I can actually relax!

Tried a new recipe for dinner, I like to be adventurous with my cooking but I hate when it doesn't work out!!

Nothing really new over here, haven't talked to my W since mediation.


W:32 M:26
T:5 yrs M: 3 yr
BD: JUN 2016
W Moved out: early JUL 2016
W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016
EA: 06/16?
PA: 07/16
Moved in w/ ow: 07/16
D final: 10/16
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where to now...i think that's an excellent question which can be answered with time.

hang in there maybs.


Me(W): 29 EXW: 30
T: 6 M: 2
SD: 10
BD: 04/2016
PS: 04/2016
W officially "seeing" someone 09/2016
W filed 03/2017
Officially Divorced 11/2017
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Retail therapy is definitely good therapy as far as I'm concerned. A few new pieces can really cheer you up. When wh moved out of the bedroom, I rearranged the room, got some new furnishings/decorations/lamps. That might seem a little excessive, but it felt like I had made it into my own little chill spot, rather than be reminded of the fact it was our mbr and have everything remind me of him.

Hope you've managed to get a little relaxing you time into the weekend smile


Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16
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maybs Offline OP
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Cherry, that doesn't seem excessive at all. I wish I could rearrange the furniture more but our house is quite small and things in the living room and bedroom only fit into the room a certain way so most of it has had to stay put. I did buy and hang new art/photos and changed up some of the (idk what to call them) items out on display to make it feel more like me and less like "we".

I will not lie I've been having a bit of a rough time since mediation last Thursday. Not swinging so low as I used to but more of a quiet contemplation. I never expected to be in this situation in the first place and then once I was I guess I never thought it would get this far.

I feel as if I've done a pretty decent job of becoming detached and GAL and letting go but those things don't necessarily stop me from just remembering everything.

Sometimes, it does seem quite crazy to me that two people can have such drastically different recollections of the same relationship. I'm not naive and I wouldn't say everything was always perfect and great and happy, but for the most part it was happy and fun and we had a great relationship. I don't know exactly why I'm thinking about my W rewriting history right now. I actually haven't heard her do it in quite a while.

I think what I really struggle with is that I miss her and I feel like that's pretty normal but then I get sucked into these cycles of "she probably misses me on some level too" followed by "no she doesn't give a crap" and I know it doesn't really matter what she thinks or feels and for 98% of the day it doesn't matter to me either.

Part of me just cannot wrap my head around Thursday. She was so different. I try to focus on the small steps forward that we make but when I do step back and look at the last 3 months I can't believe how big of a difference there is and yet there's still so much space between us...


W:32 M:26
T:5 yrs M: 3 yr
BD: JUN 2016
W Moved out: early JUL 2016
W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016
EA: 06/16?
PA: 07/16
Moved in w/ ow: 07/16
D final: 10/16
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I have had a hard week as well and I didn't go through mediation...maybe its the change of weather...I dunno...I have the same struggle with the missing her which is normal and thinking if she misses me as well...lol...luckily that doesn't consume me all day anymore hahaha...ugh...it does seem so weird about how things are now...I need to stop reading old emails because it seemed so perfect then....


W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

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So I guess something I've been contemplating in the wee hours of this morning. Is there a point at which I should ask my W if she's sure.... like do I say anything now that our D is pretty much imminent.... or do I just let it play out. Part of me feels like what do I have to lose by asking. But also I don't want to F everything up either. Idk.


W:32 M:26
T:5 yrs M: 3 yr
BD: JUN 2016
W Moved out: early JUL 2016
W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016
EA: 06/16?
PA: 07/16
Moved in w/ ow: 07/16
D final: 10/16
Joined: Jun 2016
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Hey Maybs,

I know what you are thinking...that is why when my W moved in with OW I kinda freaked and gave her one last chance to come home...well that didn't work...lol....I know NYgal told me she asked her W if they were done before they went on their trip and that is all her W could think of when they were gone and it helped.

I don't know what the answer is...maybe the vets can help you out...I know divorce is just a piece of paper. I always have to tell myself if my W wanted to come home she knew she could....I know your W is stubborn and so is mine...


W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

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Originally Posted By: maybs
So I guess something I've been contemplating in the wee hours of this morning. Is there a point at which I should ask my W if she's sure.... like do I say anything now that our D is pretty much imminent.... or do I just let it play out. Part of me feels like what do I have to lose by asking. But also I don't want to F everything up either. Idk.


Just let it play out. All that asking does is reinforce to her that she doesn't want to be with you.

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Originally Posted By: darknes


Just let it play out. All that asking does is reinforce to her that she doesn't want to be with you.


I'm just curious on the thought process behind this. How does me asking her about it at this stage reinforce she doesn't want me?

I feel really conflicted because honestly I'm not sure she does know she could come home if she wanted to. I'm not sure she knows that door is unlocked for her.

And I mean our D will be final like any day basically, and I know I know "it's only a piece of paper" but to me it isn't just a piece of paper! For me I'm not sure there's a way I could EVER go back once this is finalized.

And what if she does have doubts or is unsure and just doesn't know that there even is a path home.


W:32 M:26
T:5 yrs M: 3 yr
BD: JUN 2016
W Moved out: early JUL 2016
W Filed for D: mid JUL 2016
EA: 06/16?
PA: 07/16
Moved in w/ ow: 07/16
D final: 10/16
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I think that's just your fear talking. She doesn't know there's a path home? Have you done things to indicate that there isn't?

In my opinion, you can certainly ask her. But To me, that's like walking towards a scared squirrel. My advice is to continue to be patient and to continue about your life so that the squirrel becomes more interested in you.

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