So now your daughter -- who has trust issues with you and really wants you to move out (per your W) -- spends so much time with you that it's weird (per your W)? I hope you can see that those two things don't go together, at all.
Last edited by Cadet; 09/26/1606:17 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
LT Was just recatching up on you sitch lately and its turning into something eerily similar to mine
It is impossible to be in the same house and I think make any progress whether its on the MC front or pulling away to move towards true separation. And agree she won't see how much you do and respect you more until she/you are not in the same house.
My STBX in MC early on when this started just used it as a way to bang on my head and reconfirm her decision. The worlds issues were all my fault and she had nothing to do with our marriage problems. You may see the same behavior if you go down that path.
For all that is going on ($$ being transferred,living togther, etc...) I can only give you some advice that I followed being in a super similar situation:
-always keep your cool in front of the D. I had a few situations that I did not and it was bad. The kids are smart than we think as my daughter ended up saying "I am glad you won't fight anymore" when we said we were moving on. She actaully has said since I moved out that she is glad mommy isn't here to yell at me anymore :-)
-You have lawyered up which is good. I don't recall the housing situation of moving out etc...but did recommend before don't move until you have anything/everything in writing with custody/separation.
-Do move or she should move. Space is good. I don't know if my STBX respects things a bit more of what I represented in the relationship but I sense she is starting to see all that i did. Yours may do the same once you are not sharing the house together. It is so hard living in that stressful situation and I wish you the best with that....
-Best thing to do which I see you are is when you aren't working on you, your job is to spend as much time (and documnet) with your D. It is the most important thing possible. My D and I are closer than ever right now which was my biggest fear. She doesn't want to leave my house and whether its her just saying it or not, we spend quality time together. While my STBX is getting babysitters etc....to do her own thing. Own the time with your D and plan plan plan.
_________________________ Me-48 Spouse-WAW 52 Married for 10 years D7 ILYBNILWY 7/15 Suspect EA/PA 12/15 No confirmation/denial She files 1/2016 Working towards the Big D ...still in progress....
Has she called off the appointment yet?