I think it's time to start a new thread, especially since this is a new chapter in my relationship really. I was going to call the new thread something about the "weird place" I find myself in (and it's not necessarily a bad place) but wanted something a little more optimistic sounding so it will have to be "True Romance", as a reminder that the last 16 years have been a lot more than lies and fake happiness.
H was here for the weekend, and it was more "normal" than last week, but obviously as distant as always. He had a severe case of the "man flu" so he slept a lot, which was not what the kids expected to be honest. And he will be away next weekend so we will see him again in two weeks. I'm enjoying the peace and quiet and I'm also redecorating the house to my taste now that I'm free from H's negativity and criticism. I'm rediscovering cushions, scented candles and make up! So strange that I'm turning back to the old me, but it's really nice in a way.
I hope the link to my old thread works, if not job please edit ( we do this on every thread don't we? Sorry!)
Last edited by job; 09/26/1605:07 AM. Reason: Added the correct link
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
You sound good, Esame! I'm glad you're asserting your personality in your choice of decor...it really does help to look around and see yourself in your own home.
About your H having the "man flu"; does he do that a lot? Before bomb drop, my H would come home from work and fall asleep on the couch after dinner almost every night. He had started sleeping downstairs because I snored (actually, he would snore as I was reading in bed and then wake himself up and accuse me of snoring). He also would sleep most of the weekend unless there was an event. Just wondering. I know it is a sign of stress and depression, not just exhaustion, and I wonder how many other S have noticed that in the MLCer.
Keep up the good work on turning into old you! It is a little bit like being reborn, isn't it?
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
I consider myself a typical male in the respect of cushions so if you are rediscovering those, along with scented candles, and could exhaust the worlds supply I'd be eternally grateful think I'm rediscovering my soh which has gone a bit wayward for the last nine months.
Hope the decoration goes well and the next time your H is over the kids get more dad time.
Glad to hear you're turning back to the old you but hope there's some forward movement also, perhaps with the make-up? I'm sure you'll look fabulous.
Me 50, ExW 49 T21, M13+ S15, S13 BD #1: 25-Jan-2016 (EA confirmed & ILYBINILWY) Sept-2016 Mediated Sep. starts Oct-2016 W petitions for D Jan-2017 R w OM admitted/confirmed Jun-2018 D'd
Esame, I am about to fall asleep but I just have to tell you that I cannot stop laughing seeing your post about cushions and scented candles. Just like you, I'm making my house MY house, now that I know that h does not plan to come back. Happy that I no longer have to compromise on everything (I am aware that this may be a temporary state and maybe in a couple of months/years I will be happy not only to compromise but accept whatever decoration if someone will want to live with me or live with me again :-)...). But I'm doing the exact opposite of what you do: I'm limiting the number of cushions and getting rid of scented candles :-).
I love candles but not scented ones. So I replaced them all. And I like cushions just not 10 of them on one sofa and each one with different pattern :-).
I'm happy that you are doing well and enjoying the peace and quiet. It was the same for me after my h moved out. I would stay up longer in the evenings after the kids went to bed just to be able to enjoy silence, no TV, no nothing just silence and (non-scented) candle light. It's very difficult to live with an MLCer so after he left it was such a relief. But there were some down days when I wished he was home with me, talking about his day etc., but not the MLCer h, the h before crisis... And that I still have from time to time...
Thank you for the edit job maybe one day I'll manage to add a link properly. Until then it's good to know that you got my back.
My cushion buying habit is out of hand now, so I need to stop buying any more cushions, throws or similar paraphernalia. Clearly I have an addictive personality... Then again better being obsessed with cushions than H's whereabouts. And the house looks great. The only difficulty I'm finding with H being away all the time is that I have no time for my running. I guess I'll have to find a way running with the pram or something, I don't know.
Mentally I'm ok, maybe to the point that I feel that I'm in some sort of denial, or I've mastered detachment without even realising it. Or I'm just confused. On a positive note I finally got my appointment for IC for next week, hopefully that will help even thought it took so long for the referral to go through that I actually feel like a fraud using up their time. I have been on a waiting list since June though, so I don't want to cancel it. I know that if I cancel and then need it again I'll have to go back on the waiting list.
I have a quiet weekend planned for the children, H is away on business so it's just the kids and I. MIL is supposed to be better (she had a nasty cold last week) but I feel like something is off, she seems different at times. Yesterday she appeared dizzy or disorientated? Or took too long to answer. I asked H to call her to check on her, and apparently she told him it's a side effect of one of her meds, but she is only on antibiotics and vitamins. Maybe it's just my anxiety playing up, I hope she is ok. She did seem better today though.
I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
Esame, I am about to fall asleep but I just have to tell you that I cannot stop laughing seeing your post about cushions and scented candles. Just like you, I'm making my house MY house, now that I know that h does not plan to come back. Happy that I no longer have to compromise on everything (I am aware that this may be a temporary state and maybe in a couple of months/years I will be happy not only to compromise but accept whatever decoration if someone will want to live with me or live with me again :-)...). But I'm doing the exact opposite of what you do: I'm limiting the number of cushions and getting rid of scented candles :-).
I love candles but not scented ones. So I replaced them all. And I like cushions just not 10 of them on one sofa and each one with different pattern :-).
I guess I am making it MY space, and it feels great.
I prefer the scented candles in the kitchen but like you I go with scent-free ones in the rest of the house. But I have gone over the top with the cushions now, so that's it, I will not be buying any more!
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
About your H having the "man flu"; does he do that a lot? Before bomb drop, my H would come home from work and fall asleep on the couch after dinner almost every night. He had started sleeping downstairs because I snored (actually, he would snore as I was reading in bed and then wake himself up and accuse me of snoring). He also would sleep most of the weekend unless there was an event. Just wondering. I know it is a sign of stress and depression, not just exhaustion, and I wonder how many other S have noticed that in the MLCer.
Keep up the good work on turning into old you! It is a little bit like being reborn, isn't it?
He often suffers from the man flu, and it's really annoying when I'm sick at the same time (or if one of the kids is sick too) because he goes for the martyr look when obviously he is nowhere near as bad as the kids or makes it sound that it's not a bid deal that I am sick too. Terrible behaviour, honestly!
Yes it is like being reborn, and it feels great!
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
Not much has happened lately, other than the fact that the kids and I caught H's cold and we are all walking around coughing and feeling sorry for ourselves. H was abroad on a business trip so instead of his usual weekend visit he only came home on Sunday night. He has now gone off to work and to his bachelor's pad (or wherever it is he is living Monday to Friday). I'm really tired from a sleepless night with my poorly two year old, so today I'm taking it easy. I might go for a walk but that's all I've got planned so far.
I have been trying to catch up with everyone's threads around the MLC forum, and I'm amazed at how well we are all doing and how much we have on our plate. Sending huge hugs out to all my lovely DBers, I hope we will all have a lovely week
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
It sounds like you're doing really well! Thanks for stopping by my thread and the words of encouragement. I hope you and your kids are able to shake your cold quickly.
maybe one day I'll manage to add a link properly. Until then it's good to know that you got my back.