I just wanted to say, Shining, if you ever come back here that I might have a girl crush on you...seriously, I just love you. Reading your words made me laugh, cry, cheer. Watching you unfurl into yourself with such grace, love and fab shoes - what is not to adore? And I have learned the word a***hat now!
Me: 53 H:38 T:20 M:14 BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression S 1/16 PA 4/16 H filed 1/17
Hi, All, just popping back in for updates on everyone. Lots of new names on the boards, so probably not many here that will remember me, but maybe a few.
Treasur, LOL thank you!!! Gotta love dem shoes!! AND my favorite word!
UPDATE:
I'm still living my runaway life on a beautiful island in the Pacific NW. Raising my youngest of four, my D(now16), and trying to give her the best years I can before she goes off to college.
My twins(21) are serving in the military, and one comes back from the middle east next week. The other one is a Sergeant and is happy as ever.
My S#3(19) is thriving in college and is living in a house with 5 other guy friends. He is about 2 hrs from me, and contacts me all the time letting me know how things are. The kids seem to know to check-in with their mama and they make sure I'm alright.
Today would have been my wedding anniversary. I am celebrating by taking myself out for dinner. My xMIL sent me a fb message acknowledging the day, which was so awesome. I felt myself choke up a little throughout the day, but after 3 years, I can finally get through it without the full melt-down I once had.
I don't cry about xh anymore. Er, rarely. I used to. Twice a day, at least. I think about him, yes. But it's different. It still confuses me, this whole MLC thing. How a seemingly perfect H can blow up a family. How a once two-peas-in-a-pod kind of guy can suddenly be a ghost to me. How his entire personality could change so severely.
XH is still living with his current gf (not ow). That's all I know. Whatevs.
I know I am date-able. I now know I am worthy of a great guy, IF I want one. I also know that I am putting my D16 first until she graduates HS, and there isn't a man who can turn my head enough to make me look away from her right now. At least not for another year and a half.
I'm not a hovering parent. I watch from the sidelines more than most. I do want to be available to her and make sure she knows I pay attention. My commitment is to her for now.
The small town we live in is amazing. Since it's D16 and me against the world, I love that we live in a remote area where we don't even have to lock our doors. And she is loving her school. She has had a bf for just over a year. He is awesome. I mean, marriage material, this one lol. They are the cutest things and she giggles all the time. Music to my ears.
I won't lie and say I'm not lonely sometimes. But the lonely times pass. I would rather be lonely and available to my D16 than with someone who distracts me from these years I can't get back. I can put that on hold for a year and a half or so. My time will come.
I think about my board-friends often. You know who you are!! I hope you all are well and living incredible loves with fabulous shoes!!! MUAH!!!
M44, H44, both M before M4 yrs, T6 BD 7/13 ILYB something isn't right with me H att suicide 2/14 S 4/14 OW disc 5/14 D final 4/15
I am so glad that you returned and provided an amazing update. You sound strong and confident!
You are doing the right thing by putting your focus on your youngest and being there to support her as she navigates her way through high school.
Yes, my dear, your time will come. You are a very wise woman who has been and still is an inspiration to all who read your postings. Please come back to visit again very soon.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
