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Have you spoken to a lawyer.

Some of these questions need to be answered from a legal perspective.

Yes protect yourself.


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Yes I have and it's pretty basic stuff. In the end with both of us agreeing and me actually taking on more than it would be worth to pay lawyers to fight for. It would only be a few thousand that I would have to take on that would go to a lawyer to argue against.

Or I could be hard and it will cost her the same and there is no win for anyone

But I have went out of my way with everything she has wanted. I just don't want her thinking she can run all over me, I was thinking to stay fair and let her know she isn't running this anyway she wants.

Yes, I messed up a few minutes ago. I then texted her and said you know I still love you and wish it wasn't like this. Well at least I don't expect to get a response back, so yes that is different from 2 months ago.

Yes I'm detaching, but yes I do love her.

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Well even though my son didn't get a birthday card from his stepmother or her parents, he still had a great birthday, had about 10 boys playing airsoft all day, and I have let it go and decided it wasn't doing me any good being mad about it, it did sit me back initially.

I decided to send my youngest step daughter a birthday card with some money from my son and me in a separate envelope addressed to her mother. I'm getting myself and expecting it to be returned to me unopened, but it wasn't about the wife or myself and it was about my stepdaughter who called me dad for 3 years. She doesn't even know her real dad, real winner there.

I'm thinking I might have to contact her dad and have a sit down with him. I don't want to but he knows I have been nothing but fair and respectable to him and my wife during this. Maybe ask him what his daughter is thinking and what her plans are so this can go as easy as possible. What ever he says will be exactly what she will do because she has never went against her parents or told them no, that was one of the many problems when I was trying to help her with her 3 girls.

Bad idea guys, any suggestions?

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Blood is thicker than water so it is likely to go bad.

He will be on her side and against you,
are you prepared for that?


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I know your right Cadet, I have been doing allot of mind reading. Our cell phones are still together and she sent me a check for her part last month. Her part is a third of the bill. I have three days to get her part of the bill and if I don't, I will have know way continuing to pay the bill and will have to shut her and her daughters phones and ipads off. Its in my name.

The only reason to talk to her dad was to let him know that I have no choice to do it and see if he wanted to speak to her before I did. The girls are only my stepdaughters but I do feel bad about doing them that way. Heck, I feel bad doing her that way.

Guess I will just have to wait and see and do what I have to do and try to leave the feelings out of the equation, she use to pay the bills and she knows when its due. Technically she could care less, and get a plan in her name with her own phones and just have different phone numbers.

Even knowing and expect her not to answer the text, should I text her and ask the day before about paying her share or not?

I appreciate the feed back, you just see very few cases where kids aren't involved and the spouses own very little together.

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Take the emotion out of the decision and treat it like a business transaction.

Do whats best for you.


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I know you are correct, I will do great for 2 or 3 weeks with no contact and then she will text something and its not asking its telling me what she is going to do. Although she hasn't shown up with out letting me know before hand, but she has only been told no once so, who knows. This roller coaster [censored].

The day after she left she changed our bank account information, when I asked why, she said she didn't trust me. Had to borrow money from my sons separate savings account and open a new one. She is being coached in my opinion because she got took to the cleaners with her ex husband and he is the type that's not to far from triple digits in back child support. She is treating me worse than she did him.

At least if you have kids together she still would have to see me on occasion but that's being selfish, I know it would actually be way harder with kids.

This is worse in allot of ways than when my first wife pasted (no I didn't do it) lol

Ok, Im done whining, work out after work and do some work around the house, its all good.

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Maybe I missed it but where is your list of goals?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Goals,

1. Continue working out 5 days a week with implementing different types of conditioning.

2. Finding a IC for personal growth. The one I was seeing dealt in anger management.

3. Doing more gal activities. More of an introvert, working on being more social and over coming the axienty with being in new situations.

4. Working on detaching more.

5. Keep working on not mind reading. That has always been a hard one.

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Just journaling and getting things off my chest.

Well I shut of the wife's and step kids cell phones Saturday night. I felt bad in the morning and texted her (iMessage) and ask if she still wanted to keep her phones. She immediately texted back yes. Why did you deactivate them without asking? I told her she knew when I had to pay the bill because she has the same access I do and she paid it for 3 years. She was able to send me the check last month without any asking.

She then texted she was out of town with the girls and I was cruel and heartless.

I told her that I didn't want to text her because she usually doesn't answer back and I got tired of dealing with the emotional sit back.

I went ahead and tun them on.

Supposedly her half is in the mail.

No response back from her of course.

I messed up last night and texted her that it bothered me when she said I was cruel and heartless and that I have done everything she has asked for the last 4 months. I really messed up and told her that the reason she doesnt t have any interaction with me is because she wanted me to be the one to file and I had allot to think about this week. Of course no reply back. Man, I do great and then mess up big

I really don't know how much longer I can handle this, it's been 4 months almost. We don't have any kids together so there is no reason to interact. After checking and I don't know why I did, she is with her parents just like before we got married. Her and her girls never went on a vacation without her parents until we got married and we went on allot of them. She has it made, her parents paying for most of it, her mom gets her kids off to school every morning and she gets to have her mother cooking for her when she gets off of work. Why would she come back.

Yes I still love her but I don't know when to say enough is enough.

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