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that wasn't apathy, that was self-confidence. You need the self-confidence back, not the apathy. But you know that, and I know you are working on it.

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Eagle, Eagle, Eagle, you're not listening.

Go back and read what Eric posted to you. Then read it again.

Then read this:

Originally Posted By: Eagle11
This is the most frustrating thing for me. I need to find a way to figure this out. I don't think with my W and her mental state being tough with her is the best option. With her abandonment issues, her rape issues, daddy issues I think being tough with her will push her over the edge. I also know I can't be too easy on her either. She and I are acting as friends right now. We haven't argued since really the week this started. She hasn't shown me any anger for a while. If I could figure out some type of hybrid of the two it might work.

That entire paragraph is about her.

Originally Posted By: Eagle11
This is the most frustrating thing for me. I need to find a way to figure this me out. I don't think with my W and her mental state being tough with her is the best option. With her abandonment issues, her rape issues, daddy issues I think being tough with her will push her over the edge. I also know I can't be too easy on her either. She and I are acting as friends right now. We haven't argued since really the week this started. She hasn't shown me any anger for a while. If I could figure out some type of hybrid of the two it might work.

There, fixed it.

Look Eagle, DB is counterintuitive. You keep trying to figure out the right TACTIC to win your wife back. If you just say the right thing or do the right thing your wife will come back and you'll live happily ever after. Um, don't work that way. They smell right thru that. They know you're doing it just to win them back and as soon as you do, they're scared you'll go right back to the way you were.

Eric is trying to get you to work on YOU. We like to say around here - be the man only a fool would leave.

You had a perfect opportunity last Saturday. You had plans to do something for yourself, she came up with something, and you caved.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
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Quote:

Look Eagle, DB is counterintuitive. You keep trying to figure out the right TACTIC to win your wife back. If you just say the right thing or do the right thing your wife will come back and you'll live happily ever after. Um, don't work that way. They smell right thru that. They know you're doing it just to win them back and as soon as you do, they're scared you'll go right back to the way you were.


This I understand. I am trying to work on me. I'm not trying to win her back. There is nothing I can do to win her back. The only changes she sees from me is I communicate better with her and I have been more attentive when she wants to talk. I haven't gone out and did anything crazy. I haven't gone out and totally changed my personality to try some miracle. I also don't discuss our sitch with her. I let her do whatever she is doing and I am going to do what I think is right. I don't want anyone to think I walk around depressed or I beg her to stay with me. Do I still snoop? Yes I do occasionally. I have a tendency to post on here when things are going bad, but when I am in a better place I usually don't post on here. I've gone thru this with her before and she is crazy. I don't really need to spend my time worrying about this crazy woman. Today she texted me about our S6 because he was upset she didn't call him last night. She told me she didn't make it back to the hotel until 2:30 because she was out with another woman she works with. I texted her back "ok". Do I believe her? Not sure and don't really care at this point.

Quote:

You had a perfect opportunity last Saturday. You had plans to do something for yourself, she came up with something, and you caved.

Unfortunately I couldn't do anything about last Saturday. My W is the director of her facility (she is in charge of the facility -she is the boss). She has 2 managers that couldn't go into work that day and she had to go in to run the place. I couldn't tell her to stay home so I could go hike.


M39, W36
T12, M10
S6,S2
Discovered EA 8/8 that started 7/31
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Time for me to start a new thread.

New Thread:

Confused on What do Do 3

Last edited by job; 09/22/16 12:02 PM. Reason: Added link to new thread

M39, W36
T12, M10
S6,S2
Discovered EA 8/8 that started 7/31
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