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Irish M #2721842 12/19/16 02:24 PM
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 167
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hey guys thanks for the support. I need to give this some thought again.

my main bugbear is the complete lack of financial security i have because our assets have not been divided up. I also want to be able to get on with my life and not let these years pass me by. I am a realist in that I do not expect W to return, she has done too much damage and has shown no sign of remorse. atm I do nto think I'd be able to forgive her for what she has done. It makes me feel sick the way she has broken our family, I really do not want to have to spend any more time with her ever again. I've realised what a bind she and her family have been on me and the negative way it resulted in us living our lives. I feel in some ways like I may be going through an mlc of my own now as I feel what is done is done and it is up to me now to get on.
I'm not rushing into anything yet, just sad that the light seems to have gone out in me for wanting to fix this. Struggling to give a [censored] during interactions with her now too. All her possessions are boxed up so I can start with a clean slate again.


M 10, T 18
M: 36, W: 35, D: 8, S: 6
EA: Oct 12
ILYBINILWY: Jan 15
BD: Aug 15
Separated: Sep 15
Miss you: Jun 16
Aug 16: Dating (!)
Oct 16: Selfishness returns...
currently: disgusted
srt #2728571 02/05/17 12:00 PM
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 167
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thought I'd update this for anyone who is still reading, mainly because I'm struggling a bit again and find sometimes getting it down on paper (or UBB) can be theraputic.

Firstly no change in sitch, W does not really interact any more, must say I don't really want to, feel physically sick most of the time she is around.
I now also know just how much she has lied about all sorts of things, this is really hurting me, as now I know I was not crazy, and she really did try and dump a whole load of blame on me at counselling which I now know was pure shame and guilt.
100% sure she met with EA OM, possibly physical too, this makes me feel sick, especially with REPEATED denials.

To move my sitch on I am pursuing legal steps to secure financials. Mentally I thought I had moved on but keep thinking of my kids and they do not deserve this. I want my family to be complete, but don't want my W the way she is.

Keep thinking I'm ready for dating but know deep down I'm not. Not sure how or when this will change, but I know I need legals sorted first before I even go there.

Just can't make any sense of everything, and it seems to keep on hurting.

My GAL activities are v well established, and circle of friends is wider and stronger. Just didn't realise or appreciate how deep an effect all of this would have on me, and the utter callous and selfish way W could behave.
Trying to keep being an example for D&S in how to conduct themselves and show them lots of love.


M 10, T 18
M: 36, W: 35, D: 8, S: 6
EA: Oct 12
ILYBINILWY: Jan 15
BD: Aug 15
Separated: Sep 15
Miss you: Jun 16
Aug 16: Dating (!)
Oct 16: Selfishness returns...
currently: disgusted
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