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Tad,

So glad to read your post. Happy you have your own place too. Take care of yourself and never worry about reaching out here if you want to or just checking in from time to time.

Honor yourself by taking care of yourself because you are worthy. Happy you are enjoying photography - it is a great pursuit.

Again so glad to read this update.


M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou



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Thanks Gwen. Nice to hear from you. Sure, I still have days and sometimes I even ask myself "what the H@ll did I do?" Overall though, I am good.

I will still check in from time to time.... smile

Tad

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I was watching Star Wars Episode III last night and heard this from Yoda talking to Anakin Skywalker. I thought that it could go here.

"TRAIN YOURSELF TO LET GO OF ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE AFRAID TO LOSE."

Peace.

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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Tadpole I am your father.

Lol..


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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Just checking in...

I turned 49 on October 25th and became a grandfather for the first time on November 6th. S30 and his girlfriend have a brand new baby boy. I have not seen the baby yet because S30's GF has sort of pushed S30 away from everyone. XW hasn't seen the baby yet either.

I've been struggling with something lately...I'm feeling OLD. It's like I woke up one day and became old overnight. I feel like the best or my prime is behind me. I think I'm just missing my youth. I've spent the majority of my 40's dealing with XW/divorce/rebuilding my life and it just seem like everything/everyone has passed me by.

I still love my job and am happy with it. I'll be getting another promotion next month and will be "certified" as a Tech 3 Broadcast Technician. It comes with a nice raise. I could use it, but it still won't be quite enough. But....I AM making ends meet.

My lady friend at work has invited me over to her place the past 3 Wednesdays after work for a drink. (Wednesday is our Friday.) We've had some great conversations...but we are still just friends for now. I do enjoy her company.

Anyways, just wanted to give an update....

Tad


Currently:
M 56 XW 57
Sons 38,33,31,29

The Sitch:
Married 26 years
EA w/ OM 9/10
Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary)
Sep 12/10
She wants D 1/11
W files 5/11
D final 10/11
XW marries OM 6/13
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Happy Belated Birthday! Congratulations on becoming a grandfather. You'll get to see the little boy soon. Your son's gf needs some time to adjust to being a new mom and most likely wants some time alone w/the little one and your son (as a family unit).

I can understand the thought of feeling old. We fight the hard battle for such a long time and when there's nothing left to fight for in the way of the relationship, we soon begin to focus on us and we come to realize just how much time we spent focusing on the MLCer and/or walkaways. Now, you have a better understanding of why we encourage people to focus on themselves and live our lives to the fullest. Time doesn't stand still for us at all...it keeps on moving on.

I'm very happy to read that a new promotion is in the wings for you. You've worked hard for that promotion. It sounds like your lady friend enjoys your company and vice versa. Slow and steady and don't try to push this friendship along. Let things unfold naturally.

Tad, you have so much to be thankful for this year. You've made huge progress from a year ago. It's nice to see some positives coming your way for a change.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2716665 11/17/16 06:21 PM
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I agree with Job.. You have so many things to be thankful for in your post above.. A miracle of life (baby), a promotion, A lady friend and best of all, TIME !!!! smile Don' t overthink things. Take them as it come and enjoy every minute.

Not everything and everyone has passed you by.. Many were with you and still are. smile Do you realise everything you have accomplished!! You started from stratch, You since got 2 promotions, if i' m correct, a new home, a very nice lady friend, NEW PASSION ( photography and marine life ). You have rediscovered who TAD IS as an individual. No one did this for you, YOU DID!! You were very busy in the past few years, that is all... Now, you get to slow down and enjoy life.

49 is NOT OLD.. i' m 46, not far behind.. lol

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Reality check, Tad -
you are 4 years younger than I was when I started to learn to play the drums. Since then I have played for 6 years in an amateur punk band, learned to play vibraphone and glockenspiel and toured with a professional singer-songwriter friend playing those and percussion, played at SXSW in her band, and now have credits for playing on her new album coming out next March!

I turned 60 this spring but had 3 gigs that month with my punk band so I couldn't even feel old!

The next ten years will be what YOU make them, and your health is partly (not entirely) under your control as well. We all know people who eat right and exercise and look great, and people who eat crap and sit around who age quickly. We don't have control over everything that happens to our health, but if we work hard on the things we CAN control, many of us can affect the aging process in a positive way.

Look up Ernestine Shepherd on Facebook if you want some inspiration - world's oldest competitive female bodybuilder, she was older than you when she first started to exercise.

kml #2716730 11/18/16 08:56 AM
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Tad

I read this one late last night and its been eating at me.

I have followed you since I landed on this forum and let me tell you just a few things I have noticed. Dude ..... you have come such a long way from where you were when I joined here ... Like LIGHT YEARS long way. Before I tell you how not old you are like the rest of the wise people before me I would like to point out something. The fact you admit you are struggling with it ... openly sharing it and owning it... HUGE man .. huge. Rather than just be down and depressed about it you brought it to light and now its something you can openly deal with.

Ok .. AGE .... I have a friend, best friend since 4th grade actually. He is in your boat .... thinks he is old/feels old/ I will just say he is "age challenged". Truth is .. he and I are 7 months apart (I am 45). You would not find 2 more polar perspectives about the age. I will tell you this ... he too is a grandfather, poor bastard actually has been a grandfather since he was 37 ... yes at 37. I think THAT alone was the kicker tbh. His grand daughter is almost the same age as my son!!! Maybe look at that and think if that's the source of your "Oh Chit I am old because I am a Grandfather" vibe .... because I am telling you 49 is not old .... in fact you are only as old as you allow yourself to be. But in our lizard brains we associate Grandma/Grandpa as that silverhaired almost can't move around person and we almost program ourselves to be JUST LIKE THAT

I check myself sometimes questioning if in fact I have some MLC going on .. I am 45 and still play softball, football .. DJ 2 gigs a week, drive a motorcycle. Is it denial or is it simply I am living the life I enjoy and refuse to let the age thing mess with me .... know what .. don't care I like my life and I do things that I enjoy.

Tad ... you aren't old... and KUDOS man for spending time with the Wednesday hottie ... another HUGE step for you as I recall when you were just hoping for a little talk here and there ... now its a regular thing ... stud.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



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Tad

First...congrats on the promo, birthday and becoming a grandfather. I also see a ton of positives in your sitch. I've been around since you first joined and Tad...... you are NOT the same man! You have overcome some many challenges in just a few years. From where I sit, you have been through hell and back and YET here you are....

1) Getting a raise (I remember when you were not working)

2)Having drinks after work with a lady that interest you (I get that is not progressing at the speed that you want. It still in light years away from the place you were...when you never left the house).

3) You are a grand daddy now to the boys who YOU stood with, who YOU made sure they were okay, who YOU were the rock for - even when you could barely stand yourself.


You have come a long way and I suspect these feelings that you have regarding your age....are because you may be a bit tired. Look man it is okay to feel then. You know the drill....do not hang on to them as they do not serve you well.

I'll take a sec and remind you of db101 - "change how you look at things"..

If you keep walking around telling yourself that you feel old - guess what...you'll feel old. Why not reframe it and say to yourself that I am bit worn, I need to rest up a bit and then plan my next move.

You got this man!

So how about this idea....

Take a look at finances, let me know when you can make it to Vegas (after April of next year please)...and I promise that I'll try and meet ya. Trust me....i'll help wipe that "feeling out" sentiment right out of you.

Oh...and remember...what happens in Vegas.....

smile

You know how to reach me if you need to talk (same number).

Peace,
Eric


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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