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job #2701656 09/02/16 03:10 PM
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Job

I think you are right

Im letting go again

Thanks-


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 564
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Peace-

Just wanted to send you my best. The vanishing act feels very confusing and then trying to discern his phone call. My sitch involves WAS/OW going on a little over two years. Left all of us (me, D's, friends) behind. So odd and while addiction was not obvious - who knows?

Glad you were able to fullfill his request. Even though your post is resolute I imagine it took a lot of emotional energy.

Props and much respect peace.


M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou



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Peace - calls out of the blue are unsettling (I know about this!).

All you can do is be as kind as possible and try (as Job said) not to over think. If he contacts you again in the next few weeks/months (we all know what time is like for a MLCer) then he could be moving forward.

But as I have posted - this isn't about you and never was. These are his demons to own and deal with. Sadly we and our kids are collateral damage.

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Gwen

Thanks so much
It was unsettling to hear from him and I was so surprised

I am grateful..I have not tried to contact him even though Im thinking about him
I would love the story to end a different way..but as we all know we can't fix them

Beatrice,
Thank you..I know it is not me and we do pay the price,,but thankfully the kids seem to be adjusted,,its been so long and fairly common these days unfortunately
Divorce seems the norm, so my kids see it as nothing unusual

I went back on their fake Facebook page only because I was trying to log out and noticed they posted they were checking in to a hotel in my state a few days ago

Not sure if this is true and they rarely post..
wondering if he/they will show up one day at work?

Thanks


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,071
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I agree that when people really want to contact someone, esp in this day and age, they have a way. Take down the page.

I can't imagine how your kids feel but they may need some pre-emptive counseling in case he does come back into their lives, or tries to. Consider that maybe it's good he's not in their lives if he is having these major issues. A counselor could help you prepare them for this.

or if you can't do a counselor, take the kids to Al Alnon? It may benefit them to know where their father may be, in terms of the disease, and how to handle their feelings.

The kids are vulnerable when they have been neglected and need to be prepped for possible attempts at contact.

Or if they aren't, try to talk to thm on the off chance that he does show up.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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