Roads Go Ever On

[Cherry]

Ooh could you imagine. I often see these posts online of a scorned partner, and I kinda wish in a way I could do that, these people have balls about them. I feel like getting it put all over the screens in my workplace, maybe as he default on the homepage. Thing is although we would get the anger out, there is no way it would ever serve useful (plus the office gossips are already onto them, and although I think good- it's getting to them, it's also getting to me. Lots of sympathetic looks to the knocked up wife who's h is leaving her and having an affair).

I like what you say about living well is your best revenge. Another bit of gold from you that I can take away. You are so right, we could drag ourselves down to their level, but why do that?!

The thought of the future terrifies me personally. I do not fall for people easily, and I have young children, in a few months, a newborn- I won't really be in any kind of social setting. Maybe this fear is what keeps me clinging to my m?! I liked being part of a marriage, only maybe 2 months ago, me and wh would sit in bed laughing, watching movies and putting on a facepack. It's crazy how you can go from that to pure hatrid where he comes nowhere near me for days.

[Coly23]

On the subject of the scorned partner posting on line. When my H left the first thing H's friend's wife said to me was I don't think you should put anything on FB! I was so offended as I hardly post anything on there in the first place but for her to think I would want to air my dirty laundry on a public forum! That was the last thing on my mind!


Yes fear of the future is what I think is holding me back to...

[Painter]

I think my fear of the future has diminished as I realize that the most painful, horrid thing has already happened and I've lived through it and survived. There's not much more to be afraid of.

Just wanted to share that I had a wonderful weekend. I spent most of Saturday with a new friend (a fairly recently divorced woman), then got some work that had been hanging over me out of the way. Sunday was the start of choir season and it was a very festive service. This is at my new church here, very similar to the one I used to go to back home.

After church, I went to my studio (finally made time for it) and spent 3 hours painting. I was very happy with what I did, too! I picked up lunch at a local cafe within walking distance and had a completely random, very interesting conversation with a philosophy student who was also waiting for his food.

In the afternoon, Son and I took the dog to a big dog park for a walk. The weather was absolutely perfect. It was just one of those days where I was completely aware and present the entire day of what a great time I was having.

And I also had brief thoughts that WH would not have wanted to share any of these activities with me, or appreciated them. I don't think we have to always share all activites with our partner to make a R work, but I think not sharing any can be very detrimental over time.

The anger and sadness is there, but more muted and I forget about it more frequently. I see a lot of the aftermath of divorces in my temp job right now, so that's a trigger and I can tell I'm angrier today.

So just a share that it is possible to have wonderful days only 5 months after 2 years of bombing that ended with a nuke!

[Phoebe]

Painter, you sound like you are making a lot of progress when I read your posts. I love seeing that you got some time in your studio space and did some painting! That's wonderful. Plus, you're meeting people, getting out and doing things, and shedding your fears! You are absolutely right. The worst has already happened, and you're still standing and moving forward. You have discovered that you are strong.

((((((Painter))))))

[Phoebe]

Just stopping by Miss Painter's place to say hello, but you seem to be out and about lately. I hope that means that things are going well for you, lovely. ; )

(((((Painter)))))

[Painter]

I'm back home from a weekend work meeting a couple of hours' drive away. People came from all over the country but I only needed to stay for part of it. It was much nicer and more fun than I thought it would be, and my drive went really well. I have had pretty severe anxiety for the majority of my life, but for some reason I have none these days.

While driving home, I started thinking about the craziness of it all (WH and his behavior) but as on cue, a friend texted and asked if I wanted to go to a festival tomorrow. Perfect timing!

I'm doing well these days. I would like to feel like this going forward - making a wish!

[SH_]

Good to hear things are moving in a forward manner for you Painter.
Enjoy the festival.

[Phoebe]

Hello, beautiful Miss Painter!!!

It is very interesting that you pointed out that you are no longer experiencing anxiety these days. I've not been a terribly anxious person of my life, but it was horrible while WH ws still fence-sitting/cake eating, because my days were filled with uncertainly. Now that the worst has happened, I know that WH is no longer a part of my future, and that has eased a lot of my anxieties.

I wonder if knowing that your own WH is not going to be a part of your life has helped remove your anxiety for he same reason. You are no longer left to wonder.

Sleep well, lovely lady.

(((((Painter)))))

[J5K]

So glad to hear that your anxiety is no longer present. It is nice to hear your days are much better.

[Phoebe]

Painter, how the heck are you doing??? I miss seeing you here! Don't make me worry about you, ladybird!

(((((Painter)))))