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Lovely to hear from you

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Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Thanks for popping back with an update NYGal! Great to hear that your relationship is going from strength to strength. Just what I need to keep me going!


Me - 47
H - 45
D-16
M - 6 years
Separated - May 16

Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
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I love to see this NY! So happy for you! Keep putting in the work, it will only help you and W.

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Advice needed. W and I have an agreement that she will tell me whenever she sees, hears, talks to, gets an email from, sees a smoke signal... from the ow. We had a rough day yesterday and I got suspicious so I checked her emails. (Don't judge me.) As some of you may recall, we all work at the same place... they are in a meeting right now. So I know, it's just work. But our agreement was that she'd tell me. And she has lied so many times before. "Oh no, I never saw her or talked to her..." after I saw them walking out of a meeting together.
Now remember, they ended the affair last April - then there was the temp checking "closure" lunch last July.
Just yesterday she swore she has not seen or heard from her in months... months, mind you! But I saw the email exchanges on her iPad. They set up this meeting mid-May. That's when I sensed something changing. I have a sixth sense about this. Don't we all?
So what do I do?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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NY - sorry to hear about this.

Has the recent email correspondence just been about work? Or is it personal?

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I know you love her I cant imagine how hard this is but if you feel like something is up, it most likely is. trust your gut.
now what are you going to do?
should you be right, what's the next step?
what is Nygal doing for herself?


Me(W): 29 EXW: 30
T: 6 M: 2
SD: 10
BD: 04/2016
PS: 04/2016
W officially "seeing" someone 09/2016
W filed 03/2017
Officially Divorced 11/2017
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Originally Posted By: Thornton
NY - sorry to hear about this.

Has the recent email correspondence just been about work? Or is it personal?

Just work related, but they were always very careful never to sound personal in their work emails when the affair was in full swing.

Then last night W deleted the meeting from her calendar - three hours after it was over...
And she's being super sweet and nice and loving. WTH?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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Hi NYGal,

Super sweet and nice and loving is ok, right? Maybe she feels guilty because she knows she hasn't been transparent.

Little compares to the devastation people feel when they discover their spouse has been unfaithful. Couples often struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never ending arguments about the betrayal. Healing from infidelity is achievable for both of you with the right support and tools.

Have you read Michele's newest book Healing from Infidelity?

Cristy

Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
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My best advice is to not let W know that you are suspicious right now.

I would quietly keep an eye on her. If she's being sneaky, she will eventually shoot herself in the foot.

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My W worked with OM for another year after BD.

I did catch her deleting things. Her reason was she didn't want me to worry. She knew even the mere mention of his name caused distress. Things were innocent, yet I couldn't STAND that they still communicated. PERIOD. Even if it was once a month.

It could be that she's protecting you. She may know how this bothers you.

In my case, my W finally quit her job once the OM got promoted. She never gave notice - just resigned on the spot. I'm a firm believer that once an affair is busted at work, employment should end immediately. One of the biggest regrets I have is letting her stay on a year after she was caught. I have nothing but disdain for the MC that advised this.

You may want to discuss this with your W. That this work situation is no longer tolerable.


Me: 52
Her: 48
2D 26 & 16
M: 25 years (together 30)
EA/discovered by accident Valentines day 2016
Admitted SOME physical but no IC.
We know that's a lie.
Status - tryin to R
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