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Originally Posted By: NYGal
I do believe there is a fear in her that I could fall for someone else, someone who hasn't hurt me as much as she has. But we all know that's not happening because I really do want my M.

If this is directed at me, then this is not the question I was asking.

I didnt ask if W was worried that you would fall for someone else.

I asked if she had any fear that you would walk away.

That has nothing to do with the presence of another person. This is about you knowing what you WANT and NEED out of a relationship and determining that your current W cant provide that. This is about your BOUNDARIES and the kinds of behavior that you will refuse to accept out of a partner.

NYG - Ive been with you in one form or another since the beginning. The ast thing I want to see is you back in the spot you were last winter. I know the hell youve been here and I hope that it has molded you into the strong independent woman I know that you can be. Im ecstatic that you and W are giving this a shot. But I dont want you to wind back in the same hell at some point in the future.

As you go through this, please remember YOUR worth and YOUR value.

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NYGal Offline OP
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Can someone post a link to the lighthouse story?


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

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BD was one year ago today. So I have been through 365 days of a changed life. I'll never be the same. Something inside has died, but hopefully other good things are taking root. I don't know how I survived Nov-April, but I did and I'm glad I never gave up hope. Piecing, reconciling, whatever we're in right now is hard. But not nearly as hard as the dark days and endless sleepless nights of Nov-April.

I'm grateful to all my DB friends: MB, Rain, Hawker, Cheesyt, Rouky, Thornton, Pink, TXHubby, Painter, WONKA!!, Hope, Sparkles, the list goes on and on and on. You all and those I haven't mentioned helped me through so much. Even those of you who are so darn tough on me! You know who you are...

It' heartbreaking to hear from the newbies whose pain is so acute and so new. It's just a horrible, awful process you have to go through. This forum helps so much. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, breathe in and breathe out, and when you get knocked down just get back up again. You're not alone.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 700
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NyGal....ugh what an anniversary! I am glad that you made it to the other side and one of the lucky ones!! I don't wish being here on anyone but I am glad that we have a place to go to get support and strength from others who understand what we are going through. Thank you so much for all your support, you have been a great help to me!!!


W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

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NYGal Offline OP
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We continue to struggle and enjoy. Good days, great days, awful days. It's hard, people! If you are reconciling, piecing, whatever, fasten your seat belt. It's a bumpy ride.
XO


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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more bumpy than after the BD?!


Me(W): 29 EXW: 30
T: 6 M: 2
SD: 10
BD: 04/2016
PS: 04/2016
W officially "seeing" someone 09/2016
W filed 03/2017
Officially Divorced 11/2017
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No, not more bumpy than those awful days where it felt like I was being thrown around in a hurricane. It's just that reconciling is tough! But worth it.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 700
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NYGal...I imagine it is tough!!! It is hard to let go of the past that was full of so much pain and disbelief someone we love so much could put us through that!!!

I am glad that you and your W still go to MC, I think that is important to work through all of the issues!!!

I am sure it is worth it and I wish I was there...maybe someday, maybe not!

Hang in there!!!


W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

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Hi NYGal, how are you?

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