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#2700950 08/31/16 07:07 AM
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Hi

My XH or his wife or Step daughter 19(not sure who) again posted something on this fake Facebook page,

That Facebook page was created by my D now 21, when they first tried to contact her last year and this page is a fake ,,it is only D and them(no other friends) My daughter did not want to accept them on her real page-

They sometimes post pictures..I never check anymore-but she told me they sent an impersonal message from [messenger)
Im not sure what messenger is and maybe it sends random requests out when you get the app

that says something like
XXX requests your number and theirs is on there--first time they gave her his or someones phone number
thats it -
no name..no how are you,,seemed very ROBOT LIKE_

Previously its been 9 years since bomb and about 6-7 no contact
I think it is a fake request because of the impersonal request -

either way until he mans up to ask my D for a conversation and signs his name --I will assume it is a fake or his lovely wife..who has psych issues

any thoughts appreciated

Peace


married 14 years
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Peace,

I would advise your daughter to contact FB and have the page taken down. She can block them on her real page if she doesn't want them posting to it, as well as changing her settings to allow only her friends to see what she's posted and she can make things private as well.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2700957 08/31/16 07:25 AM
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Thanks

so maybe your right take the page down…
he has no other way to contact her though if he tries

But DO you think if he wants to contact her and really wants to he will find a way
they do have access to our business number and address as well and our address
he could write if he means it-

they live about 1500 miles away
I do believe his wife is the real owner of their page not him
but I do believe it is them running the page..just not sure why as there are no other friends besides D

Thanks


married 14 years
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M ow D ow
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If your xh truly wants to contact your daughter, he will find a way to do it.

FB is an easy target for the wife or any of her friends to post stuff on it and yes, they are hoping your daughter will share the info w/you and create a change reaction of sorts.

Take it down...both of you will feel better for doing so.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2700966 08/31/16 07:45 AM
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Just a thought, but if your D would like to keep the door open, you could say that you don't want to post a phone number online, but the original address is unchanged if he wants to contact you there.

That way if there is contact, you/she would know it is him and not OW.... smile

You could then take the page down if that's what you think is best?


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We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Thank you Job and Sotto

I get to work


and there is a message on work phone

it is XH…he is slurring and drunk on the message
sounded desperate ..miserable and in tears
First contact in 6-7 years--

this was a guy who had numerous years in recovery in AA
He asked if I would contact his old friends from AA and give them his number which he left
He said he is not doing good and sort of apologized saying "he knows he messed up" first time Ive ever heard that

went on to say he needs help and wants to get out of the situation he is in (M)
saying
Its not good for him--but He was drunk

I gave his old friends his number and one called him and called me back
but xh was drunk and friend didn't know if xh was willing to stop drinking and go to meetings

I don't know if he will/can get sober again
its a serious disease

I won't call him..If he is serious he will have to dig himself out of the mess he created..definitely makes me sad to see him hurting that much but also confirms some of my suspicions about him


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peace,

Apparently he's hitting close to bottom. It's been a long time coming and I pray that he hits bottom hard and gets the help he needs.

He knew that if he contacted you, that you would contact his AA friends his number. He knew he could rely on you to help get the message to them.

You've done what he asked of you...now it's up to him to either sink or float. He's the only one that can help himself.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2701123 08/31/16 04:39 PM
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yes now i can let go
Nothing more I can do
he may or may not get sober again
if he doesn't get sober..there is no chance to reconnect especially for the kids
it may take a bit of time as well to see what he chooses-
thank you for your input
appreciated


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Joined: Apr 2007
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I keep thinking about XH since the Voice message
I know its a long shot, but if he got sober again - he may again connect with his kids

Do You think His reach out to me was a form of reconnection?
He could have gone direct to his old friends --Im sure he could have googled their phone numbers.
he didn't have to go through me
He has had no contact with any of them for 6-7 years either
Thanks


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
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peace,

I think you are over thinking the contact. I think he was in a dark, desperate place and skimmed the bottom of the barrel. He knew that you would take the step to contact his friends for him. He was afraid that his friends would tell him what they think or give him the cold shoulder.

Do I think it's a form of reconnection? In my opinion, no. If he does get sober and start cleaning up his act, he could very well begin the process of reconnecting w/his old life, especially his kids and then go from there.

But for now? I think he was in a bad way and needed to reach out to someone w/o them turning him away.

Keep the focus on you!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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