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Originally Posted By: Ginger1
And I big step I really want to take in that direction is I want to buy my own home. I admitted to my IC last night, that aside from my not so stellar credit, which is finally improving and lack of down payment, I have not considered buying a home, because I was pretty convinced I would meet someone and build a life with them in a house together.

So you mean as soon as you buy a house you will meet someone!

Who knew it was that easy?

Love ya girl!


Me-70, D37,S36
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G they are selling tons of homes in my development. Some homes bigger than mine and for about 235k. You will just need to like country music and pineys lol


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





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Yea....you succk at leaving...

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Ginger you know your dad would be THRILLED to be able to help you with a down payment! And then you could get a dog!


Linda

Me 65, Ex 64
M 38 y
2 adult S, 4 G-Kids
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I may succk at R and meeting people, and BTW why is that word banned? That makes no sense. Anyhow, may succk at those things but totally excel at financial planning, and buying your own home is the best thing you can possibly do - even if it's just for a few years. It makes total financial sense, loan rates are still low, housing is still reasonable although certainly off the lows. Rarely is it a mistake to do this. Even if you do or when you do get married again, you can sell and more likely than not come out financially ahead. It's a great idea. Keep pursuing it!


DonH
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Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
DonH #2700947 08/31/16 06:58 AM
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Hey Ginger, how are you holding up regarding your foot and the BBQ this weekend? Just thinking about you.


Linda

Me 65, Ex 64
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Originally Posted By: RosaLinda
Hey Ginger, how are you holding up regarding your foot and the BBQ this weekend? Just thinking about you.


I'm ready to have a good time this weekend. I am also bringing a friend. May not see him, the unknown throws me off a bit, but I'll have a great time.

My foot hurts. I'm hoping it starts to feel better soon. I miss my cardio horribly. (I know, I'm crazy for missing cardio). But I'm following doctors orders. I do some weights and crunches and stuff at home.

Can't wait to see you!

And thank you all for your advice. I really did take a hiatus, but I just wanted to check in. I plan on trying to take some more time away from the boards, just going to check in time to time and help where I can. I've been cutting back on social media too. It is a great way to stay connected, but sometimes, I don't want to see so much into other people's lives. I find myself comparing mine to others and viewing some social media posts as a "standard" of where I am compared others, and that isn't healthy. So, in my school break, I am busy with work, cheerleading, friends, and I've readdicted myself to Sudoku(don't laugh, it keeps my mind focused elsewhere) and reading for pleasure. I'm hoping my foot gets better soon so I can take some nice fall hikes, because I really do love the fall.

I do owe money to the IRS which stinks, and I finally did speak to my dad about buying a place. He says he's been wanting me to for a while, but he knew my credit score wasn't so hot. It's getting better though. They can't help me, help me, as in give me money, but they can borrow against what they have and I can pay back monthly. So we will see. But they are both excited to help.

It's exciting for me. I used to get sad about it, like I was signing myself up to be alone for the rest of my life. But really, it's just taking a step into my full independence. It's letting go of the last thing I'm holding onto and doing what is best for me and the kid. I have been seeing more and more how much I am her rock. I'm probably the one she fully trusts.
I'm not scared of being alone anymore. I've never feared it for not being able to care for myself, I have proven I can do that. I can be alone. Not anyone just anyone can give me what I am truly looking for. A true partner, and a best friend.

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Ginger,

I do hope that you enjoy the weekend. I'm glad you are bringing a friend.

I'm sorry your foot hurts...but that foot is telling you that you are probably on it too much. Are you elevating it whenever you can? It's not ready for you to be walking on it for a long period of time....take it slow and it will heal up so much better.

I'm glad you are taking some time from the forum. It's time for you to take a much needed break and to focus on you and your daughter. It's time to focus on purchasing a home that you can call your own and yes, make it your forever home. I think it's wonderful that your dad is willing to help you out. Take your time in looking and make a list of questions to ask about the homes. I can't wait to come here and read that you found a home that you and your daughter like!

Enjoy your weekend!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2701247 09/01/16 09:07 AM
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It never fails, healthcare workers are the worst patients - therefore posters here have to suggest how this RN recovers post surgery. smile

Again our age groups are a bit apart but I can tell you I find it very attractive when a woman owns her own home. The last three I went out with are all home owners, one just had moved in actually. I don't at all take it as a sign they gave up, although they are all independent as hell. My point though is I think many guys will be impressed rather than put off.

Really hope you taking a break won't mean you don't update about you. Taking a break reading and helping others doesn't mean you have to stop helping you and posting. Please let us know how this weekend goes!


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
DonH #2701268 09/01/16 09:47 AM
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There are a variety of rent-vs-buy calculators available online, I suggest that you plug your numbers into some of them and see if it really makes sense for you to buy at this time. You live in a high cost of living area and it very well may not make sense for you right now.

I know the appeal of owning your own home is strong. And in the long run, having a paid-off home by retirement is a very nice thing. But owning a home comes with a lot of expenses (sometimes large, unexpected expenses) and frankly, you may not really be in a financial situation yet where it makes sense.

Do you have 20% to put down? (if not, you end up paying PMI, which is a useless additional expense, plus you have no cushion if you need to sell in a down market.) Will you, after buying, have a stash of cash so that you can pay for that unexpected $10-20,000 roof or sewer line or other major repair? (A pinhole bathroom pipe leak in my mother's house ended up costing almost $25,000 in mold remediation, sewer line repair and bathroom remodel. 1952 house.) Will your monthly payment, including taxes and insurance and monthly savings for ongoing repairs, be less than rent? Would you offset some of the expense by renting out a room? Could you afford to buy a duplex or a house with a granny unit to rent out, to make the numbers more favorable? Are you handy at minor repairs?

If you DO buy, the best deal is to buy a "cosmetic fixer" - one that is structurally sound (electrical, plumbing, termites etc.) but just has ugly paint and flooring etc. If you are willing to do the work yourself and have good design sense, you can make some sweat equity quickly by fixing it up. (I have done painting, tile flooring and back-splashes, stripped ugly wallpaper, scraped old linoleum off of wooden floors on my hands and knees so they could be professionally refinished at a fraction of the cost of installing new wood floors etc.) It takes a lot of time and effort but can be quite financially rewarding in the end if you get a good deal on the purchase price.

Nonetheless - don't jump into it just because you think it's the adult thing to do or because you have "land lust". I have a lovely home that is only 20 years old but there are always nagging repair items that come up (right now, a malfunctioning hose bib in the back yard that the plumber needs to come fix, and a leaky window in one bedroom). I still sometimes long for the days when you would just call the landlord and let them know something needed repairing.

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