And good luck to Mrs Beret if he wants help with the bills. I have been waiting a long time to give her a piece of my mind. If she would ever Be stupid enough to even broach that topic she deserves the tongue lashing I would be sure to give her.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I'm sure you could tell her a thing or two. When death comes knocking at the door, it always surprises me how people act and what they think they should get.
I wouldn't worry too much at the moment. Your xh is in good hands and the medical staff will take very good care of him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I know. Crazy thing is after all these years and after all the mean things he has done and said it still makes me sad that this could be a "fatal" condition. The thought of my kids losing their dad saddens me. Is that odd?? I have joked many times how I wish he would take a flying leap. But now it's kinda horrifying actually.
But then again my ex flies off the handle as you well know. I don't think he's very good at reducing his stress especially when he seems to bring it all on himself.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
No matter what your xh has done, he is still the father of your children. No one wants to see their former spouses have serious/fatal conditions w/the possibility of dying before their time. Yes, it does sadden you to think it could be serious.
His problem could be that he requires a pacemaker or needs to be put on heart/blood pressure medication. Maybe they will suggest he needs to change his diet to lose weight. He may need to cease w/the drink (if he's been doing that). There could be any number of reasons for his heart to be acting up. Running tests and monitoring his heart are the best steps to get to the bottom of his problem. Hopefully, the answers will come very soon and maybe medication or even surgery will help him live a longer life.
For now...all you can do is wait to see what the outcome will be from the tests.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
As for the maintenance - it is not unusual for this to be discontinued if you are living with a man. In archaic terms, you are now considered HIS problem to take care of (new guy's, that is). This is part of why I do not live with my boyfriend.
As for the possible aortic aneurysm - this can be a big problem or a little one, depending on its size and location. Small abdominal aortic aneurysms are just a wait-and-watch kind of thing - surgical repair is too risky to do unless the aneurysm is so large that it is at risk of rupturing. Once they reach a certain size, they operate and place a graft to reinforce it.
An aneurysm of the aortic arch (where it leaves the heart) may be more urgent, but again, if he isn't scheduled for surgery in the near future, it may just be a wait-and-watch kind of thing.
And, I wouldn't put it past your ex to be making all of this up or exaggerating it wildly.
If he were to die suddenly, you would be able to get social security survivor benefits for your kids until they are 18.
He has an ascending aortic aneurysm. He said the doctor told him if anything happens it will be quick and he won't feel a thing. I was in shock the entire tokens was telling me this. I still am not sure what to believe.
But anyway he wants to reduce his stress level but yet is increasing it by making all this unnecessary drama. I hate to say it but perhaps karma is doing her job.
And if the courts decide to end maintenance so be it. But if we opening doors I might just have child support reviewed while we are at it.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Look up medscape thoracic aortic aneurysm treatment, it's a pretty clear article. If he's symptomatic he should be having surgery. If they don't think his symptoms were related and the aneurysm is small they may be taking a wait and see approach. Does he have any Marfans features? ( tall, unusually long arms, think Michael Phelps).
Well, X is tall, not really thin. I think he used to be when he was lots younger. He's more muscular now. Well, except in the spare tire area. LOL. He does have crowded teeth. I don't know about the stretch marks. I never noticed anything when we were still together, but that's been a while. As I am looking at images of people with this diagnosis, I don't see X having this body style and the symptoms of Marfan.
I think he mentioned they didn't want to do surgery because it was too risky. I guess there is nothing they can do about it except, like you mentioned, wait and see.
As far as maintenance, I will just leave it up to the judge to decide. I am guessing a judge is going to be much fairer to me than X.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I think he mentioned they didn't want to do surgery because it was too risky.
Well, that would imply that it's not too big yet. They wouldn't operate on a small one if the risk of it blowing out is less than the risks posed by surgery. That's why they usually wait until it reaches a dangerous size - UNLESS he is symptomatic, or has Marfan's or some other connective tissue disease, or a family history of aneurysms etc.
For instance, a small one has less than a 4% risk of blowing out in a year. If the risk of surgery is greater than that, they would wait and watch to see if it gets any bigger. Nerve-wracking I'm sure. This will probably bring on a second MLC.
Since he DID go to the ER with some symptoms, though, he should probably think about getting a second opinion, preferably from an expert at a large teaching hospital.
BTW, people with Marfan's typically have a "wingspan" that is greater than their height. Not foolproof but something he can check at home. If the distance between his fingertips with his arms stretched out to the side is greater than his height, he should be evaluated for Marfan's.
