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Well said. I wanted to go home with the woman I saw today. But I know there are still parts of her that are connected to the toxicity that caused her to leave. Sort of illustrated by the crushed Natty Light can on the floorboard.

Yes. The feeling to hit the FF button hits hard, and is difficult to fight but fight we must. I'm quite certain my W isn't in a MLC, but every time I see positives I want the snowball to really get moving. Instead, it's more like watching an inchworm crawling across the parking lot ha.

Loving someone going through their journey is hard. "This hurts me more than it does you" makes sense here. I want my W to come home, eventually. The woman I knew and fell in love with, and wanted to live with forever.....and someone who has finally learned how to be happy with who she is. I guess you can put it this way. You can love where your home is, but want to completely redo it and make it into your dream home. You have to figure out the blue prints alone. You turn them in, and watch it get built....watching and worrying about every little problem, believing that that one specific problem will ruin the whole thing. But at the same time each install, each correct measurement, each little positive means it'll turn out perfectly.

Last edited by Cadet; 08/30/16 05:54 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message

Me: 35 W: 32
S: 4
T: 6 M: 4
Physical Separation official: 5/21
Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son

Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
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CT1118 Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: RSG

Loving someone going through their journey is hard. "This hurts me more than it does you" makes sense here. I want my W to come home, eventually. The woman I knew and fell in love with, and wanted to live with forever.....and someone who has finally learned how to be happy with who she is. I guess you can put it this way. You can love where your home is, but want to completely redo it and make it into your dream home.


Yes, it is very hard. The 'homecoming' is a great analogy. When I married her, we were out on the town that night. Just her and I. She told me to take my ring off and read the inside of it. It said "...to never leave home again." I asked her what this meant, she took hers off and it read "A promise..."

She had lost her ring while moving - this was a full 8 months before any of the sitch began. We were going to replace it, but did not prioritize. In the first month of our S, her and I were having an R talk. She said that the promise remained, that I was her home, and that she would always come back.

In hindsight - don't wait for me, but leave the door unlocked is what she was saying. So, yes, loving the one who left. Quite a challenge RSG. Sht, just writing that I was overcome w/ a wave of love for her. But, I am stronger now. I know that love is for the prisoner inside and not for the WW.


"There is no more important fight than the one for ourselves. Keep on winning." Ginger1, Read her newbies.
BD: Feb '16
D: Mar '17
Piecing: Putting the self back together was my piecing.
S6


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CT and RSG...it is a hard journey! CT, I love what was written in your rings! When my W left she said I hope you let me come back. Ugh...now she has moved in with her AP....but she won't say she is done with us....sounds like mine is saying leave the door unlocked as well. Its like she is projecting her feelings and needs to feel like she is not alone...

Last edited by Cadet; 08/30/16 08:46 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message

W:42 M:48
T:9 yrs M:1yr
BD: Feb 2016
EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016
D: Feb 2017

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thanks for the love CT

sorry about the way i put it, my feelings. fwiw, i'm not the self harm type, and would do anything to be there for my kids. offing myself is not any part of my plan for being there for my kids


Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final
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Me-70, D37,S36
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