Your therapist is a very smart lady. Listen to what she's telling you. Yes, your wife has been harboring a lot of anger/depression for the last 30 years and guess what, that's why she's in crisis mode now. She couldn't stuff those feelings any longer. Now, while she's dealing w/that trauma, the feelings that she has for you are now stuffed way down in her soul. Don't think for one minute that they aren't because they are. This is all about her, not you.
Therapy will not help your wife at this time because she's in replay and will do one of the following: 1) go because you want her to go; 2) she'll go and then stop because she doesn't think that there is anything wrong w/her; and 3) she will have selective hearing and only hear what she wants to here to justify what she's doing. In time, she may decide to go to therapy on her own.
I'm very happy to read that you were in a much better frame of mind after meeting up w/your therapist. Continue going because it's going to help you come to realize that you only have control over yourself, but also she is explaining some of what we have already told you.
