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Originally Posted By: SadDad8
So maybe saying "I don't want you to leave. I want to work on this. I have hope for us. Please come to therapy?"

To me this sounds pressuring and pursuing.

Maybe asking her to come to counseling to
work on co-parenting your child is a better idea.

And how you are going to work out what will happen after separating.

Remember DB'ing is counter intuitive.


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You guys are so smart lol

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Tonight is the night to discuss upcoming things. Every time I think about talking to her, I get a pit in my stomach. Why? How can I let someone affect me like that?


Need to detach. Doing better but still so hard.

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Originally Posted By: SadDad8
Tonight is the night to discuss upcoming things. Every time I think about talking to her, I get a pit in my stomach. Why? How can I let someone affect me like that?


Need to detach. Doing better but still so hard.

You are scared.
You have expectations.

It is actually completely normal.
Take a deep breath and now you have some goals to
work on.
IE - no pit in stomach.


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what is IE?

What expectations would I be having?

I feel like I'm pretty bad at this.

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Originally Posted By: SadDad8
what is IE?

From dictionary
Quote:
Abbreviation
i.e.

(initialism) That is; in other words; that is to say.
The three U.S. states on the west coast
have mild seasonal variations in temperature (i.e., warm winters and cool summers ).

Originally Posted By: SadDad8
What expectations would I be having?

I feel like I'm pretty bad at this.

That she will say or do something that is not what you are expecting.
Divorce, separation, in love with another......


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sorry...thought that was another DB acronym because it was in caps! haha.


OK I will try to have zero expectations. I really don't know what the reaction will be now anyway. I feel like I don't know her.

Therapist said that due to her past trauma from childhood, she may be validating herself and getting that "love" from the new sexual relationship she is having.

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Originally Posted By: SadDad8
I get a pit in my stomach.


So what would you think is the worst thing that could happen or be said tonight?

There will always be more discussions. This is just one in a long series. Try to remain calm and confident.

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Originally Posted By: SadDad8
I feel like I don't know her.

Therapist said that due to her past trauma from childhood, she may be validating herself and getting that "love" from the new sexual relationship she is having.

RIGHT now you don't know her.
She has an alien inhabiting her brain,
the body is the same but not the brain.

The therapist is correct.


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Originally Posted By: SadDad8
I feel like I'm pretty bad at this.


SadDad8,

I was really bad at it; in fact, I was a complete pansy. But, my wife taught me well and I learned how to quell the spew. Most of the WW's power is based on your fear; once you've lost that fear, then she's lost her grip on you.

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