Are you in a "no-fault" state? In the worst case, if your W wants to file a divorce, can she make it happen?
It's a no fault state. If she really wanted a divorce she could make it happen and wrap up in 2 months. If I agree to the divorce she could tell everyone it's mutual and save face.
Are you in a "no-fault" state? In the worst case, if your W wants to file a divorce, can she make it happen?
It's a no fault state. If she really wanted a divorce she could make it happen and wrap up in 2 months. If I agree to the divorce she could tell everyone it's mutual and save face.
What is there to "not agree" to regarding divorce?
It looks like you did everything very well from the beginning. I respect that. Most of us screw it up for a few months, before getting our heads screwed back on. Sorry for the reason you're here, but glad you found the forum.
Thanks Gump! 3 days in I contacted a marriage therapist and lawyer. The lawyer was only a consultation to know my rights. One week in I found divorce busting. It feels good to vent my situation but I'm careful who I tell. I started excersing and working on GAL. I've been drinking a little more beer and wine, I know that one can be a slippery slope. I'm doing good overall but I can't lie. It eats me up sometime. I told myself I would give it one year. I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter and I'm doing this for her. I could see how this added stress could cause long-term health issues.
Are you in a "no-fault" state? In the worst case, if your W wants to file a divorce, can she make it happen?
It's a no fault state. If she really wanted a divorce she could make it happen and wrap up in 2 months. If I agree to the divorce she could tell everyone it's mutual and save face.
What is there to "not agree" to regarding divorce?
Will you cage her up in your basement?
Darkness i like your straight forward no BS posts. I hope you continue to follow my thread and journey.
To answer your question, my wife is able bodied and there is nothing stopping her from filing first. Nothing more to dicuss on that.
Just checking in...not much to report in the last week. No talk of divorce or relationship. Not much talk, just basic stuff. Life around the house is kinda normal but we sleep in separate beds and don't have sex. My wife has come out of her depression and withdrawal. I have good days and bad. When I'm sad I hide. We both now have passwords on our phones. I'm tempted to bring up the topic of separating our finances. I would feel safer with this but don't want to send wrong message. I still have hope for marriage.
I was looking at my wife the other day, I feel like I don't recognize her. Lots of makeup, new style of clothes, new eye glasses and new varying hairstyles. And worst of all, shoes now have a high heel. I realize people change but I don't know. She has cut off most of her old female friends. Her one female friend who she has known under a year has this same look. I would call it a sex appeal, look at me look. It's as my wife is copying her look. Speaking of her new friend, I guess they have similar backgrounds. Both had alcoholic wild fathers that did as they please. The mothers did what they had to do to keep family together. Dealing with issues was always secondary to saving face. Just another piece of the puzzle.
My wife keeps asking how I'm doing. I'm not mean, but I keep our interaction brief per the rules and 180. When she asks how I'm doing, I always say fine. I never bring up our R or possible D. I'm not taking her bait. The EA/PA always feels like the pink elephant in the room. I'm so tempted to bring it up but she will never admit it. I'm tempted to have my own PA.
Things are still civil in the house compared to other horror stories I read. I just wonder what her end game is. My plan is to wait it out but...I have not mentioned it before but I'm tempted to file papers first. I think it would be a rude awakening for her. But if I'm wrong, I bust out early(poker term).
In regards to her EA/PA I wonder if she's in love or just playing the guy. She's had a history of text flirting with co-workers. I noticed she has a similar pattern and phrases with these guys. A playful flirty pattern that progresses. One of her catch phrases is, I love you more then you could possibly know. I've monitored her cell over the years and called her out when I thought it went to far. I stopped monitoring her cell 6 months ago. I wonder if the PA is a result of that or the new guy has a combination of low morals and game.
Downfall of society. It has become socially acceptable to have girls nights out and 'work husbands' then you throw in Facebook and texting programs. It's a cheaters paradise.
Brian, I wouldn't file for divorce and I wouldn't start a PA either, but I would definitely prepare financially, mentally and have a plan if she files. I would just be a rock, a mountain, acting as if nothing is happening and you don't care or want to know. Your focus are your kids and their mental health. Your wife is acting like a little girl, not you, you are the mountain, you are the man. Hugs
Brian, I wouldn't file for divorce and I wouldn't start a PA either, but I would definitely prepare financially, mentally and have a plan if she files. I would just be a rock, a mountain, acting as if nothing is happening and you don't care or want to know. Your focus are your kids and their mental health. Your wife is acting like a little girl, not you, you are the mountain, you are the man. Hugs
Thanks for the words of encouragement. One day at a time. You helped me thru the day..
I broke one of the rules. One of my wife's co-workers reached out to me. She told me my wife was having an affair with a co-worker. I already knew. She told me what she knew. Then I broke the rule, I told her what I knew. I told her not to say anything as it would make matters worse. The co-worker liked our family and was not happy with my wife's actions.
My wife is currently on a vacation/leave of absence at work. She gets a call, probably from her affair partner, that the co-worker I talked to has outed the affair at work including the details I told her. My wife is very mad. With alcohol on my wife's breath she's states our marriage is over. She wants a divorce within a month. It seems affair talk triggers divorce and the wife still won't admit the affair. Wife is scheduled to return to work soon.
