I've read a lot about detaching. And when I'm busy and doing my own thing it does help. I think I'm just a bit addicted to him. I'm hurting, which I know everyone else here is.
I don't think it helps that he is in the house. It enables him to further hurt me, wether it's in the form of his spews or what he is up to. I don't know fully what it is, but I wish I could figure that out and get to work on it
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Do not offer him food! Even if it is just extra... Don't do anything for him.
I don't believe in the being a friend. Would you be friends with someone that treats you that way? He doesn't deserve a thing from you. Carry on as if he's not there. That's how he wants it anyway. You're going to get to the stage where you're really done with his [censored]. I hope that's soon. Stay strong
Thanks T. I just didn't want to match his rude behaviour. Had my scan today. He came, we stayed in absolute silence, didn't say a single word. He watched intently at the screen, when it was done I gave him a photo, he gave it back saying he had no place to put it (your car maybe?!). I left it at that and told him he could go to work while I saw the consultant.
I guess he was there, but he wasn't. I didn't make the attempt to talk to him at all. The good news is I saw a healthy baby kicking about and having a great time. So now I can announce I'm pregnant to the world yay
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Yay Cherry, so glad everything is good with the baby!
I can't believe how unemotional he was during the scan! All I can think of is he has switched off his emotions in order to be able to go through with the D. Surely this must pull at his heartstrings?
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
Coly, lord knows what goes through a waywards mind, or what they need to tell themselves to justify their behaviour!
But I was especially psyched to see my baby doing well, kicking and putting on a show. I nearly cried at the relief of it all. I explained to the consultant when she asked about family support etc that my h was planning a d, she was also asking about taking me off my anti d's but when I explained what he was planning she quickly agreed that my doctor is right to keep me on them as they are reasonably safe and used throughout pregnancy. There's also some pre-natal ic's who can help me with some emotional support throughout too.
Felt all very real to be sitting making a birth plan, and seeing sonograms. Although I feel like birth plans can fly straight out of the window when Mother Nature takes over; it was just yet another future plan I have placed in motion (I like forward planning and lists! ). Tried to explain to s about the new baby brother or sister, not sure he understands, but we will get there! And it feels good that I can now tell everyone , and finally stop wearing floaty/peplum tops and showcase my little bump, told my colleagues and they were happy. They don't know the situation with wh, so he may get some awkward congrats. But hey, not my problem.
Going to focus all my energy into these children and get planning some more. Thinking I'm going to need to upgrade my car to one I can comfortably fit two baby seats in. But ideally need to see how the next few weeks/months pan out to know what financial leeway I have. I'm not the most clued up on cars, this is usually wh's speciality, but I have no doubt in my mind I can sort this out myself too and negotiate a good deal.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Just a quick drive by to see how my friend Cherry is doing. I still need to read up a bit, but saw that you dropped by me neck of the woods in here.
Have you been able to implement some of the information from the fear homework? Are you ready for some more homework? What are you working on for yourself to take the focus off of him? To put it on you and your progress?
I'll swing back soon to check in.
(((((Cherry)))))
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
That's great Cherry, this little baba might be just what you need to take your focus off H and his circus! Let's see his many tantrums he can have now when there is no one to listen!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
So pleased to hear that baby is doing well. I haven't much to say but I keep up with your posts and send you positive vibes and my love. Take care of yourself Cherry
yay