Exactly right, Cherry. Let it out. You are grieving and the worst thing you can do right now is to bottle up that pain. WH doesn't deserve to witness your vulnerability, but when you are out of his sight, just let it out.
((((((Cherry))))))
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
I'm just so damn angry with him. He said he would look after s for me so I can get some things done. Then he texts to say he's gone out to help a friend buy something. He left s on his own. I open my door to see him sat outside. I held back from texting in every swear word ever made at the fact he bailed after like an hour and left a toddler alone. I asked had he eaten, he said he hadn't. So angry and hurt. As soon as "a mate" needs something he's there, drops everything and everyone to be there.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
OMG. Start documenting everything like this, Cherry. Leaving a toddler alone is neglect, at best, and endangerment at worst.
This isn't hurtful behavior, it is reckless and dangerous. I wouldn't trust him with your child.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
He didn't leave him home alone, but he left him outside my bedroom door and text me as he was leaving so he didn't have to see or face me. But I can not trust him to take care of S properly
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
He didn't leave him home alone, but he left him outside my bedroom door and text me as he was leaving so he didn't have to see or face me. But I can not trust him to take care of S properly
Cherry, it [censored] that you're having to go through this. One way I'm getting through mine is by realizing that if this is the worst life has to throw at me, I can pretty much handle anything in my future. You have been and continue to be an extremely strong woman for putting up with all of this. Hang in there and know that we're all out here for you when you need us!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
As for giving WH stuff to read, I just want to face slap him with the whole pile of books.
My view is quite straightforward I do not hold with MLC, it's just selfish entitlement and a chance to go wayward. Big fat excuses for sheer willfullness and dipping the wick.
Until I die I won't get this selfishness towards their children, born and unborn. Cherry you are one amazing mum.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Thank lt0402, it is certainly a trying situation. He continues to act out like a spoilt child. Offered him dinner as it was cooked in bulk anyhow, he decides to get stroppy and say "no, it's not my food". I just left it there, I was not prepared to beg or plead. If he wants to act like a teenager, fine but don't bother me with those damn mood swings!
V, you and I both. How you can be so selfish and hurtful to your own child I just cannot understand. At all. Thank you for the compliment, I don't feel like I'm amazing but I'm trying my upmost to do my best and put them first no matter what. In my eyes, it's what a parent should do. I would kill to protect my child.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Don't worry about documenting this. It's worthless. It's NOT a blame game. You know this.
Just make sure your S feels loved. You do this, I know, fill the gaps he leaves. I want to call you H out but it's not the right thing to do.
All I can say is that YOUR feelings for him right now are holding YOU and your S back. I know this because I have lived pretty much exactly your life. I feel your pain and it is horrible. Please detach. Do you even know how to do this? Either you do and you are not, because the addiction of him is too strong, or you don't. Which is it Cherry?
Surfer.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
