At least you could have a timeline like everyone else. I am not going to play Sherlock Holmes.
5) Did you talk to YOUR wife this way? Were sarcastic towards her?
Quote:
I am self employed and I am very successful in what I am doing, and through the years I have learned to take advice only from the people that have achieved results and really know they are talking about.
6) Would you say that you can sometime be a bit arrogant? This is a question…not an accusation.
Quote:
Nothing, I will wait patiently for the Affair to end.
7) Why would you wait “patiently”?
Quote:
Actually I think that she already had an Affair that lasted only a few months and now she is single again.
See question 3. Is this another assumption OR do you know this for a fact?
I’ll back later to see what your response are.
I think your response will help you see some things that honestly are not always visible.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Jack please let me know which males have been waiting here for more than 3 years for instance and I will follow their thread.
You're looking for the magic bullet, you think that these guys who have waited longer than 3 years have the secret.
Here is the secret: The guys who stayed married, did the same exact things that those who didn't stay married. They worked on themselves and waited, not waited doing nothing, waited and GALed.
They saw the problems in themselves that was a part of their marriage falling apart.
This isn't ALL the MLCer, that's not what you want to hear, but its true. We all, all of us, screwed up a part of our marriage. The successful ones worked on the problems they brought to it, whether or not they stayed married.
The ones who stayed married, hell most of them at the end almost didn't want to, but they did.
Find them yourself. They are in the archives. A lot of them don't post anymore because they put their time in and being here is a reminder of a bad time in their life.
It's really hard to help someone who thinks they know everything.
I'll leave you alone here, but I'm going to say something on other's people threads if you are givingthem bad or arrogant advice.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I recently saw this in another thread over in the Newcomers forum:
Originally Posted By: Cld
Hi Brian, Your wife's behavior is very strange. Can you tell us more about her childhood please? In particular I would like to know if her parents got divorced, who filed for divorce, how old she was when that happened and any other traumatic experience during her childhood.
It seems you keep asking the same question over and over to other posters which brings me to ask you this: how's that helping YOU?
Or more to the point:
Are you just gathering some "research" material for your as yet to be 'written' book on how you allegedly "saved your M" by trolling other threads? My point here is that your M isn't saved--YET.
This makes no sense at all given that you have NOT yet grasped the most basic DB principles, putting them in actual practice, or truly take in the advice offered in your own threads. You are just a newbie and you've jumped to the "my M will be saved" song without putting in the hard work on yourself and your shortcomings. Makes my head scratch. Kinda like you telling people that you will run the 100 meter race at the 2020 Olympics without logging in training hours.
It is akin to putting the horse before the cart. You are getting ahead of yourself.
SLOW down. Go back and re-read the homework links Cadet provided along with advice/comments RIGHT here in your own threads. They all are valuable guideposts for you.
Let's focus on the Cld program.
-what are you doing about your controlling ways? -what are your GAL activities -what are your own reflections on your own behaviors and patterns that have contributed to the M breakdown -take an honest inventory of what you liked and didn't like about the M -what are your core values as a person
There's more....for now I'll stop and let you marinade over this post.
I don't know if you realize just how controlling you are. You're throwing away alot of good advice from others because it seems like you are not willing to accept anyone's views that you feel don't fit into your own.
Let's put it this way. You THOUGHT you knew your W. You THOUGHT you knew what she wanted. You THOUGHT she was happy. You were WRONG on all counts. And now you're here with everyone else.
Maybe what YOU think isn't working.
I also think you've been and continue to be rude to a number of people who have been trying to help you. No one here gets paid to give advice and they all have been in your shoes. They deserve the same respect as you. Dismissing them as if you were Lord above all others is what makes you arrogant. Like I said, humility will help.
And I would say that your very high percentage stat of D'd women get D'd themselves is abnormally high and statistically impossible. If that were the case, exponentially, there wouldn't be any M'd women at all. In fact, the latest statistices show the D rate is actually going down.
But it all comes down to what you want to do. You can save your M and make it better than ever, but it won't be coming from you not changing.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
