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I just wanted to stay you are quite a loving and understanding woman. I'm glad you were able to express your feelings with your mom. I have no doubt she loves you just as you love her. You handle such a tough situation with loving grace.

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Sending big hugs to you from my part of the world. I'm quite gobsmacked at the way you get treated for being a divorced woman. That's just cray cray!

I'm sorry you've had a bad time with your mom. It's good that she is starting to realise that she needs some help. But I feel for you that you haven't had the support from her that you should have. Yet despite her support, you are still doing so amazingly well.

Very proud of you and your strength lovely lady


Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16
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JksD Offline OP
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Dear Ginger and Cherry,
Thanks for swinging by and your lovely words of support.

My sitch with mum seems to be improving but her health, memory and logic are deteriorating for sure. It guts me to see the way she is so I am still trying to find out how much contact is mutually beneficial for both of us.

Past few weeks have been a struggle with the D anniversary, my poor health and a short sojourn into enemy territory.

Didn't see TPT. There's something in me that would relish meeting her at her workplace and having her realise that it was not fear but compassion and grace that stopped me from exposing their A. But I am not going to keep quiet anymore.

What is curious is that when I met the x, we both did a double take. I am pretty sure annoyance was written all over my face but the x seemed pleasantly surprised. I was a bit disappointed as I sort of wanted him to be piss scared of the fact that I could expose their lies. But maybe he knows me better than I know myself.

He seemed to want to interact with me but I was like, so, you really want to have explain to your colleagues that I am your xw and why and how I became your xw?

What warped thinking was going on in his head? Maybe he thought that I was going to give them my blessings?

Ugh.

I am finding the urge to shed off my Dory skin and moult into girl on fire. Heart on sleeve is still getting in the way.

I need girl on fire to survive this gruelling period.

Reno-wise, my contractor is starting to annoy me with his last minute requests for info and items that he needs and tardiness in answering to my queries. Need to start watching the works more closely.

I am getting more and more motivated to go to the gym. I am glad that I joined my current gym, not so much for the equipment but for the many classes that I can drop in at my convenience. The thrill of buying and working out in cute outfits add to the fun of course. Plus the fact that there are cute and hunky instructors.

Pole dancing class stops for a week and I can't wait for it to resume. I can see myself doing this for a long time. I have promised myself that when I am more proficient, I will buy myself the cute itsy bitsy workout gear that the girls in my class wear confidently, regardless of body shapes or sizes.

And tomorrow, burlesque. smile

Heck, when life throws you lemons, squeeze them into lemonades with thighs of steel as you whirl, twirl and gyrate.

My life goal? Even if I am going to be alone at the age of 80, I am going to be one decent-looking and fun-loving 80 year old.


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
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I'm so sorry for your mom's health. That must be hard to watch.

Pole-dancing! Burlesque! I wish I had your daring. smile

Congratulations on having an awesome vision in place. Something tells me there's someone out there who will really, really appreciate having a personal pole-dancer in his life when you're eighty!


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Heart-on-sleeve girl, there is nothing wrong with who you are. There is beauty in being soft and kind and open with your heart. Your compassion and kindness is your strength.

So many people want to strike back when they have been hurt, and while it's an understandable impulse, it takes a special person to be able to show compassion and grace to someone who doesn't deserve it. I think you're inspiring.


Me: 43, Him: 40
Married: 21 years

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I want to give you my love and thank you for all your support, I am taking a break for a little while, resetting, and focusing on some close to home issues, and well, work!

Always take pride in how you handle yourself with your mom, with your ex and TPT. take pride in being you kid's rock and trying new things and living life.

Exposure is tempting, I exposed right in the beginning. My dad did the exposure of my ex for him at work. My dad had gotten him the job in the court system my dad worked in for 35 years where he was well respected. My dad made sure he landed in the same court house he retired from. My dad was not very happy.

But in the long run, my ex didn't care he was exposed. I don't think OWW ever was. I exposed to ex's friends, and well, they are his friend's and they didn't care.

Just keep your held up high, chickie. Nothing feels better than that

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Originally Posted By: JksD
Heck, when life throws you lemons, squeeze them into lemonades with thighs of steel as you whirl, twirl and gyrate.

My life goal? Even if I am going to be alone at the age of 80, I am going to be one decent-looking and fun-loving 80 year old.


The thoughts you have placed in my head with this are making me all hot and bothered now. Why would you do that to me? smirk
Lemons squeezed with sexy thighs of steel and a hot grandma....where do I sign up to see this? wink

Just swinging by to catch up with one of my favorites. I am trying to come back from my little game of hide and go seek and hang out with my peeps.

I hope you are doing well with your challenges.
You are in my prayers and I look forward to our future pole dancing challenges.
Hmmm, is that kinda sacrilege to say that?
I hope not. crazy

Be well my sweet friend.


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Just a drive by to see how my pole dancing, thighs of steel, GAL challenging, and future hot grandma is doing.

I hope all is well, and was thinking of ya as I have been putting some things in order on my journey here.

Be well until we catch up again.

(((((JksD))))))


Me 46 Former W 46
D19 D7
BD Feb 2016
WAW moves out 4/16/16
D final 6/1/2017

It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Annab, Ginger, and SH,
Thanks for dropping by.

Things have not been good.The x is marrying the TPT, as I always thought they would. And yup, they got together a few years before BD, prob just before or after she was widowed.

Exposure by this time is moot. I guess even my efforts to mend the M were moot and futile in light of everything.

As usual, the x was angry at me for everything. For pushing him into tpt's arms because I cut him off, for trying to negotiate a more reasonable access schedule for kid because evefything is about me and me only.

I have this perverse wish to keep talking to him because it only proves the point that I can only move forward. I have no idea why he hates me so much. I must have hurt him a lot, and/ or he just needs to vilify me to ease his conscience.

Kid is so gutted. She asks if I have ever been so upset that I wanted to die. I told her that I would be heartbroken if anything happened to her. She keeps asking me if this is a dream.

Kid and I are hurting and reeling from this blow. I realised that TPT would have met his whole family and they probably loved her. So much for 10 years of my life.

I am devastated. I am ashamed of my devastation and my realisation that I still have feelings for him. But I am coming to see the futility of trying to convince someone who refuses to let go of the hurt.

I wish him well and I am glad that he has found what it is that he's looking for. I just wished that we didnt have to be collateral damage.

I will probably be taking a break to regroup.

Be well, my friends.


You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
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Hi Jksd, I'm sorry to hear that news, which must be painful to you (((big hugs))).

I think it's important to only take responsibility for your part here. When you guys were together, your behaviour didn't drive him into anyone else's arms. However, I'm sure that all of us hurt our spouses in some ways...I don't think it's possible to live closely with someone without some hurt - intentional or otherwise.

However, in this picture is also his part and it doesn't sound as though he's seeing that. It's not uncommon for that to be the case is it? I think it can take some time to reflect on things and take a balanced view, owning your part. Some people get there and some don't.

Be careful with the thinking about his family. I also struggled with this - OW taking 'my' place with in-laws etc. My guess is they may reluctantly tolerate her and do their best to get along. It may well stop short of them thinking she's great - particularly given the infidelity.

I'm sorry that you are both hurting so much. Do try to let go of the need to contact him and keep it to essentials only. You know where he's at and he probably doesn't have much to offer just now. Who knows that may change at some point, but best to leave him be I would say. I was sad to read your daughter's comment. I always think it must be hard to be the child in all of this and have to live with the (sometimes not great) choices of others. I wonder if it might help her to talk with someone; does her school have a pastoral care programme with counselling support?

I understand your need to take a break from the forum, but you know we are always here if you want to post.

In the meantime, do take care and focus on processing and healing from this latest development.

Big hugs to you both ((((hugs)))) xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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