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HaWho, I honestly don't know how you do it. A face picture in his potatoes?

Your thoughts about the open dorm room door would have been exactly my thinking ... is this a test?? Test or not, I'm glad you passed.

I'm so glad you've found a "good" place. I know how tough that must be when dealing with a MLC spouse day in and day off.

Take care.

xoxoxo
2T


Me: 59 and holding
H: :53
Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown
M: 19
T: 23
BD: 9-23-2013
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Hmm, interesting Job. On several occasions my h has recalled the blizzard of '78. He remembers the cars abandoned everywhere and the snow drifts being taller than him.

But also, both he and his brother are very fearful individuals in general. I think they inherited a lot of the fears their mother passed along. And they each developed their own unique ones as well. They both act like they are really tough, but seriously, if you stand either one of them 1 mm into the woods, they get visibly antsy. This cracks me up as they are fine in the worst neighborhood of the city where statistically they are way more likely to be mugged or shot. But the woods? Well, there is most certainly a giant bear right there waiting to eat them. LOL!

He definitely left the dorm room door open by accident. Twice now, after leaving the house completely, he has returned only to make sure he DID in fact lock it. There's a sign of anxiety.

He had a long conversation with S10 about bear species. He has some sort of obsession with bears attacking him in the woods. He talks about this a LOT. This is made most interesting by the fact that we live in SoCal 15 minutes from the beach.

He's about to be normal for a while. I see the signs now. Last night he made a chocolate drink and made one just for me. When S12 asked for some, h said no, that it was just for me. I thanked him and complimented. It was very good. Is this pleasing mom?

And he's talking to me again. He left to run an errand and said where he was going and when he would return. He kept asking S10 to go with him. He even bribed him with ice cream. When S10 said no thanks, he asked what he could do to get S10 to go with him. S10 answered: I'd like a rollercoaster. That settled that!

Before he left for the errand, he asked if it was an okay time for him to run the errand or did I need him to be home? I ducked into the laundry room to laugh about that one. (This is where I dash off to do most of my secretive laughing at the sheer bizarre-ness I see.) Geez. He's been lost for over 2 years and he asks if I can handle a half hour with the kids all by myself? OMG! I answered him seriously but boy is that ever weird.

He offered to go and take care of x tonight. I took him up on it. (Finally I can praise him for something.)

He is very chatty and engaging. It's freaky. We had a whole conversation today initiated by him and he was so lucid.

He offered me an English muffin, too. That's all he's eating these days. (Unless I cook the meal.). That was his diet in his early 20's. I declined the muffin and joked that though it was a delicacy, I was all set. He laughed. It reminded me of when my sister was here and we made a nice meal. H wasn't eating my food then (he thought I was poisoning him) and instead ate just corn bread with a fork and knife. Just corn bread while we ate steak, potatoes, grilled vegetables and a salad. He had offered my sister that instead of the meal! OMG! He was so out of his mind!

I wish I could share all these stories of odd behavior with him. Old h would be absolutely fascinated by these sorts of things. He just loved this sort of stuff.

And the show goes on . . .


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Quote:
As for B12 levels he just had a physical and he goes to the doctor frequently. He has them test all that. I assume it would have been picked up?


Neither thyroid nor B12 levels would be on a routine blood test usually. You might just give his doctor a secret heads up that you are seeing some unusually paranoid behavior and ask if he could check these things next time. He probably won't talk to you because of HIPAA laws but you can still send him a note with your concerns.

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He had a long conversation with S10 about bear species. He has some sort of obsession with bears attacking him in the woods. He talks about this a LOT. This is made most interesting by the fact that we live in SoCal 15 minutes from the beach.


Oh yes, we have a terrible problem with grizzlies here in San Diego lol.

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Ha,

I was reading about your preparations for bear attacks and the four horsemen... A few days ago, my youngest and I were walking the dog and happened upon a black bear meandering in the parking lot of our apartment complex. About a a 400-pounder and he was standing about 15 feet from us when we noticed him. He was a pretty big guy. He looked at me, with a sorta bored expression, and turned around and sauntered back to the woods. It's our second bear sighting since we moved here.

I shoulda been scared, but I wasn't. He was so beautiful and calm and lumbering. He reminded me to slow down. Take your time. Not that he couldn't have made a beeline for my face if he wanted to.

So, iffn you ever want to push some of your H's super-sensitive MLC buttons... tell him you are taking the boys to visit your friend in the Blue Ridge, so you can see some bears in person.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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KML - I don't know the name of his doctor and though he once left blood test results out, I didn't note the name of his primary. Too bad.

Lois - wow! That must have been a spectacular sight to see! I would love to see that part of the country; I've never been.

So just more weird MLC stuff here. S13 celebrated his birthday this weekend--yay! He is officially a teen (though he's been demonstrating the correlating behaviors for several months now).

S13 wanted to take a few buddies to this beach with huge waves and then grab dinner with them and have a sleepover. Remember how I noted that h offered to go run x errands? Well, those were for provisions for son's party and he never delivered! I have zero expectations anymore so I just rolled right on.

But the day of the party, he pulled one of my favorite stunts that he's learned in MLC. He waits until he knows I've done everything and then he offers help! One hour before we are to leave for the beach, he texts asking if I need anything! I said no thanks. My sister says when he does this I should send him a list 3 pages long, requiring trips to 4 different stores! Ha ha! He'd never make it home. (The last time I sent him with a list he grocery shopped at CVS even through there was a grocery store next door!!! I went back and returned it all the next day as everything was super expensive.)

So we are at the beach a few hours and in a huff h decides he is leaving! He says S13 is not talking or hanging out with him so he'll just go. And he does! Very mature. S is 13 and yep, he wants to hang with his peers, not sit on the sand with his parents. He is developmentally on track. H says he'll meet us for dessert. He really needs a warm pacifier.

Before he leaves he tells me that we need to have a regular family party like we used to do. He says this party stinks. He says he'll get a cake and we'll celebrate. I say fine; I'll make a nice breakfast the day of his bday.

A while later he texts me that he's picked up a cake and candles for s's official bday, which is the next day, and he tells me he's walked the dog. Seems the guilt of leaving set in? I thanked him.

At dessert time, the boys decide to grab icecream sundaes where we already are vs. closer to home. I tell h this as there won't be time for him to drive over. He sends me a sulky text back. He had taken S11 home with him and says that he'll take him for dessert as he's been waiting all afternoon to meet us. Me thinks that's a bit of projection there!

The next day we have breakfast with kids and S13's best friend. I ask h if he is going to eat. He has many allergies so he can't just eat what I make for us. He hesitates in answering. He says he's not sure. I know this is something weird from his childhood. So I say: well, if you're going to join us, I'd like there to be something for you to eat. But I don't want to make something if you're not eating. He says he'll eat whatever. But that's not true due to his allergies. So I say, I can make you x but only if you'll eat it. He says he will. And he gives me this really goofy grin. That was just exhausting.

Presents are super awkward. H had picked out a few on his own, which was thoughtful. But they are for a 10 year old!!! S13 is polite but not too interested. I think h thinks it's still 2013 and he is in denial/unaware that s is a teenager. This was all made especially awkward by the fact that s13 loved my gifts and couldn't hide it. H is out of touch. Funny thing is: s10 had friends over and they all loved the gifts h bought for S13, too. Calendar in the dorm room seems to be set at 2013.

Cake time was also weird. H bought what is his (h's) favorite cake! (Thankfully I'd already taken S13 out for sundaes with his friends.) What h picked out is definitely not S13's favorite cake. Well, it was thoughtful that he picked up A cake. But, guess it's beyond him to buy what S13 would have liked?!? I was surprised he put s's name on the cake vs. his own.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Lol HW. What an adventure you have going on over there!

First of all, my S doesn't hang out with me when his friends are around, and he is 9! I don't sulk, I step back and enjoy seeing my baby become more and more independent. It's normal, not personal.

The presents and the cake.....so interesting.

Yay for S becoming 13! I remember hitting that mark, it was huge. Sounds like you gave him a great day, good job mama!

You continue to amaze me with your grace and patience. God must have placed you with your H for a reason! But seriously, I am glad you have your emergency kit and protection from bears in beautiful SoCal.

Love to you HW!
M


Me 48 H 46 S 11
M 2004
BD 8/13
H moved out 2/15
-live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
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KML - I don't know the name of his doctor and though he once left blood test results out, I didn't note the name of his primary. Too bad.


Darn. Is your H a reader? There's a fantastic book about B12 deficiency written by Sally Pacholok, called Could It Be B12? Very easy read, written for the lay person, maybe you could buy it and just happen to leave it lying around the house?

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The book kml recommended is excellent. I have pernicious anemia (B-12 deficiency) and had the testing done when I was 34. I actually was beginning to think I was losing my mind, my memory was mush and I couldn't even think straight enough to add 2-2 to = 4, I walked like I was walking on a rolling ship and was completely out of breath before I reached the middle of a city block. I also have some nerve damage because my doctor at the time thought I just needed additional iron because I was so tired all of the time and just wanted to sleep. It took me well over 2 years before I had a health issue that continue to repeat itself every six week before anyone would listen to me.

I am now giving myself a shot every month to keep my B-12 level stable and I have my blood tested every six months to ensure that everything stays level and I remain healthy.

Just my two cents...it is well worth reading the book. B12 deficiency doesn't just happen to old people. It's happening more and more in the younger generations.

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Job, I didn't know that about you!
There's a new movie out called Sally Pacholok - a kinda weird cross between a whistleblower movie and a Lifetime romance movie, but you would appreciate it. I rented it for $2.99 on Vimeo.

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kml,
I normally don't share much about my personal life on here, but low levels of B-12 and Pernicious Anemia are issues that I have had more than my fair share of experience with.

I'll have to check out Sally's movie. I'm always interested in learning more about Pernicious Anemia and/or low levels of B-12 due to diet, etc.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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